FUN BUNCH REMAIN UNBEATEN
OTTAWA — The Fun Bunch managed to maintain their perfect record by beating “stop hitting on us” 19-5 despite swarming bees and a rare plague of June bugs in the outfield. Right fielder Scott Saunders said that a bee “flew right in my ear and out the other side” while he was making a stellar catch to end a rally. “I must have stepped on a hornet’s nest as the bees were swarming everywhere”, said Saunders triumphantly. Equally bizarre was the plague of June bugs that descended on the outfield and engulfed outfielder Paolo Daros causing him to juggle and ultimately drop a routine fly ball. “All of a sudden there was a cloud of June bugs everywhere – I couldn’t see the ball through haze”, Daros remarked. Center fielder John Devries (the oldest player on the team) said he was “a bit surprised” by Paolo’s claim as he was standing next to him in the outfield yet did not encounter any June bugs at all. “In my day – we had real plagues of locusts”, Devries recalled nostalgically.
WHAT A WAY TO CELEBRATE
Team Captain Alison Hale drives in winning run to celebrate 50th birthday.
OTTAWA — The Fun Bunch managed to extend their perfect record to 7-0 by beating the Aquabats 13-12 with some late inning heroics. Carrying a respectable two run lead heading into the top of the ninth, it looked like smooth sailing to their seventh straight win. Unfortunately the Aquabats had different ideas and rallied with two out to score three runs and move one run up on the Fun Bunch 12-11. In the bottom of the ninth, after a leadoff homer to tie the inning, Scott Saunders tripled with one out to set the stage for a come from behind victory. Alison “don’t throw home” Hale was next to the plate. Alison – the team captain- was celebrating her fiftieth birthday and was in the midst of a torrid hitting streak. One pitch later, the ball found a rare patch of outfield and Saunders trotted across home plate with the game winning run as Hale leapt in the air in exultation immediately after reaching first. “It’s my birthday and I’m on top of the world”, Hale rejoiced as her teammates carried her off the field on their shoulders.
The Aquabats are an elite team of semi-pro players who have a “take no prisoners” approach to the game, which is unique in the otherwise friendly league. Fireworks started shortly into the second inning when an Aquabat outfielder deliberately ran into Fun Bunch second baseman Glen Rankin in an attempt to break up a double play. “This is not going to end well”, said Fun Bunch shortstop Steve Saunders as he observed the action from close quarters. As if on cue, Rankin hoofed the surprised Aquabat smartly in the mid section.. “Let’s see you try that next time”, Rankin hollered as the Aquabat player limped off the field. Fortunately cooler heads prevailed and both teams settled down to provide an exciting, tightly played game much to the excitement of the Fun Bunch hall-of-fame alumni who had come out in support of the team and to celebrate Hale’s 50th birthday. Paolo Daros, attempting to work his way out of the doghouse after he misplayed a fly ball which led to a big rally by the Aquabats, came up with a clutch grand-slam homer to cap a five run inning – the turning point in the game. “I don’t know what it is – last game I dropped a fly ball, this game I was playing too shallow – maybe I need glasses”, Daros remarked rhetorically. The team celebrated both their win and Hale’s birthday in style in the burned-out-shell of Whisper’s Pub in Westboro after the game.
IT’S ALL OVER.
Blown call in ninth inning erases Fun Bunch chance at history books.
OTTAWA — The Fun Bunch’s unprecedented nine game winning streak and shot at the pantheon of sports came crashing down in the bottom of the ninth inning when home plate umpire Paolo Daros mistakenly called out shortstop Steve Saunders at third base.”I’ve been playing in this league for twenty five years and have never been called out on base”, Saunders said dejectedly. “I guess it was a tough call but I slid my foot into the bag and leaned back at the same time so was in well before the tag was applied” Saunders added. The Fun Bunch dug an early hole for themselves when they simply couldn’t get runners on base and either flied out to a very dense outfield or grounded out to a very tight infield. The Athletics took advantage of some surgical hitting to pick apart the Fun Bunch infield and outfield in the early innings to build a substantial lead. However, the tide turned for the Fun Bunch when they shut down the A’s in four of the last five innings with some spectacular catches in the outfield. “I felt if we could just score a couple of runs we could pick away at that lead and get back in the game as our defense was rock solid”, noted team captain Alison Hale. Richard “wild thing” Bujold was up to his old high jinks again stretching a single into a triple twice by forcing a throw to second which went wide both times allowing Bujold to trot into third. “I suppose if the throw had been on-line at second I was a dead duck but they don’t called me ‘wild-thing’ for nothing” extolled a jubilant Bujold. By the time the bottom of the ninth rolled around the score was 14 – 7 for the Athletics leaving open a slight crack for the Fun Bunch to extend their winning streak. Center fielder Martin Desjardins got on board as did Steve Saunders with two out and one run scored with Scott “boom boom” Saunders in the on-deck circle. “I was feeling like we were going to pull this one out. All we needed to do was get a base hit and bring Scott to bat”, opined back up short stop Glen Rankin. But Alas it was not to be. On the next play, Desjardins came in to score and Steve Saunders advanced to third but was called “out” by Daros thus snuffing out any chance at the record books.
FUN BUNCH LOSE AGAIN.
Losing skid hits two games – shakeup rumoured to be in the works.
OTTAWA — It never rains it pours it seems. After a stellar start to the season –winning their first nine games—the Fun Bunch have started sputtering at a most inopportune time. With the league tournament only weeks away, it looks like the Fun Bunch is seemingly headed for another disappointing post-season and the board of directors is not amused. “We have been underachieving the last three years in the playoffs and it can’t continue”, insisted hall of fame alumnus and CEO of the Fun Bunch team, Soren Sorenson haughtily. “It’s not like we weren’t trying for crying out loud”, retorted team captain Alison Hale. “ We played the game with only four guys and the Aquabats were out for revenge tonight”, she continued--clearly stressed over the slump. Once again, the Fun Bunch repeated an all too familiar pattern of spotting the opposition a big lead by failing to produce runs when the opportunity presented itself and stranding base runners in most of the first four innings. One highlight, however was the play of the women and in particular the MVP style hitting and fielding of captain Hale. “I guess her holiday last week did her a world of good”, remarked first baseman Chantal Bujold. “She was placing hits perfectly, and fielding the ball like a pro at second. Sure she misfired when she didn’t go to second to get the lead runner but hey – we got an out didn’t we?”, she added defensively. Catcher Rowena Sams made a spectacular catch to mow down a runner on a relay from the outfield to send a strong message to the Aquabats that the Fun Bunch weren’t going down without a fight. Back up pitching is an area the Fun Bunch will definitely have to improve in if they want to be successful in the post-season. With starting pitcher Steve Saunders at bat and second stringer Scott Saunders on holidays, it turned into a bit of a “clown show” with a parade of wannabe pitchers delighting the crowd with “circus type” pitching making it even more difficult to mount a comeback. “Hey I’m willing to try to hit a pitch on the first or second bounce but when it comes rolling over the plate there’s not much I can do”, said exasperated rover Patti Anderson matter-of-factly. New comer Matt—Richard Bujold’s future brother-in-law—added to the hilarity by showing up in the 7th inning to play outfield and then promptly dropping the first lazy fly that came his way. Clearly not finished impressing his new teammates he then went slipped in the mud and went ass-over-tea-kettle in an attempt to recover the misplayed ball. The Aquabat base runner meanwhile was doubled over in hysteria as they trotted home on a rare four base error. Heading into the ninth inning the score was 19-11 for the Aquabats once again leaving the door open a slight crack for the Fun Bunch to mount a rally. With two runners on, short stop Steve Saunders came to bat. Saunders had missed several opportunities earlier on to close the gap with runners on base due to suspect pitching and did not want a repeat performance. He signaled for yet another pitcher from the dugout and this time Paolo Daros somewhat confusedly strode out to the mound. “Just throw it in like a beach ball”, he calmly advised Daros. Two warm-up pitches later the ball was deftly deposited in deep right field and the Fun Bunch were back in the game 19-14 but that was as close as it got and the Fun Bunch lost their second in a row. “The rumour is one more loss and management is going to start rebuilding the team – just like the Sens”, outfielder Martin Desjardins whispered. Here’s hoping for a positive outcome next Wed.
LOSING SKID HITS THREE GAMES.
No end in sight for hapless Fun Bunch.
OTTAWA — Fun Bunch Captain Alison Hale took her demotion in stride. Stripped of her captaincy for her teams’ inept play, stalwart Hale kept a stiff upper lip and insisted that the best days were not behind her beloved Fun Bunch. “I believe in this team. In all my heart I know they are capable of better than they have shown the last three games. We are contenders and will turn things around before the tournament”, she insisted, somewhat half-heartedly. However, It was an ugly loss to the rejuvenated Controllers tonight. With a plethora of fresh faces, they came to play and schooled the Fun Bunch in hitting 101. “I hardly recognize the team” , said newly minted infielder Richard Bujold. “They have an all-new female line-up, who are young, fast, and skilled”, he added. What the Controllers did is put on a hitting clinic-- slicing and dicing the Fun Bunch defense to shreds. “I think I had two plays at short stop”, said Steve Saunders somewhat incredulously. “All night long, they placed the ball between short and third, or short and second or second and first—really it was impressive”, he further intoned. Really though it was a game that could have been won. The final score was 14-10 and the Fun Bunch had their share of chances to take the lead, but “dropped the ball” time after time—both figuratively and literally. “I will be brutally honest with you—we simply did not seem like a team that had lost two in a row and were hungry for a win. I saw fielders letting balls drop in front of them, and undisciplined hitting with pop-ups and solo home runs like little league”, said dejected outfielder Paolo Daros. Daros might have been referring to John “Hans Solo” Devires, who returned from vacation just in time to pop two “solo” homers over the fence and pretty much extinguishing any chance for the Fun Bunch to get back in the game. “It’s hard not to be excited for little Johnny when he hits one out of the park – it is such a rare occurrence—but he knows the team rule is to not waste homers on solo ‘ego’ homers”, said a clearly disgusted outfielder Martin Desjardins. With two home runs basically “thrown away”, the Fun Bunch found themselves in a deep hole—something they have grown quite accustomed to lately. Once again their “pop-gun” offense made it ridiculously easy for the Controllers to shut them down. Ground balls to short and third and lazy fly balls to shallow infield by the Fun Bunch made for a pretty effortless defense by the Controllers. The highpoint of the game was the stellar defensive play of Richard “Wild Thing” Bujold, who sporting a sore toe, shifted effortlessly to second base where he proceeded to gun down runners, back up first base and make deft throws to short. Add some precision extra base hitting and Bujold was clearly the Fun Bunch MVP. Honorable mention goes to Daros who--mired in a woeful hitting slump--managed to barely get one ball over the fence for a modest two run homer. Heading into the bottom of the ninth inning, down five runs, once again the Fun Bunch had a slim chance to stay alive. Hale dug deep and got on board on an error bringing Steve “downtown” Saunders to the plate. Imploring his “little brother” Scott to toss one outside, Steve was instead jammed tight, high and inside. In an effort to keep the ball from smashing his ear, he instinctively followed through with a check swing but it was too late – as the balled sailed easily over the right field fence for an out. With the bases loaded and down to their last out, outfielder Scott Saunders had one shot at redemption. With no home runs left –complements of Devires--Scott would have to place a precision hit to score some runs. Sadly, it was not to be as he tried to do too much with the exceptional pitch and flied lazily out to shallow left field. “So much for the rally”, rover Tea Derakhshan harrumphed as she stomped off the field.
FUN BUNCH FINALLY WIN
Decimated team comes up big to break winless drought.
OTTAWA — A collective sigh of relief could be heard from Fun Bunch players, management and owners on Wednesday night as the down on their luck Fun Bunch came up big to beat the Brawlers 23-8 in a decisive victory. “Our best players came out last night and showed everyone what the Fun Bunch are capable of”, said recently re-instated team Captain Alison Hale, taking aim at the bevy of players who chose to skip the game in lieu of “other commitments”. “We’re in the heat of a pennant race, with two games to go before the tournament and on a three game losing skid to boot. It’s unacceptable to bail out on your team mates to attend a social function or hockey game or whatever”, Hale quavered in referring to AWOL players Scott “Boom-Boom” Saunders, Richard “Wild Thing” Bujold and John “Hans Solo” Devries who have earned themselves a one way ticket to the doghouse with their absence. Nevertheless, tonight was about the players who did show up and proceeded to school the Brawlers in “softball 101”. “Honestly, it’s hard to pick an MVP tonight because everyone played so well”, gushed rover Dom “The Dominator” Angelo. One worthy candidate might be third baseman Glen Rankin who had a stellar performance hammering two home runs—the second one scoring three runs—as well as making some exceptional plays at third. Outfielder Paolo Daros also stood out as he put on a hitting clinic, spraying balls all over the field with hard liners finishing the night 6 for 6 and showing his teammates what it takes to be successful come the tournament. “Steve told me to keep the ball in the park if no one is on base, so I tried my best”, Daros understated referring to player-coach and shortstop Steve “the hammer” Saunders. The Fun Bunch confounded the Brawlers all night with their speedy youngsters Tea “The Terminator” Derakhshan, and Angelo causing the infield to rush plays and throw the ball away at first several times. Add to that mix veteran power hitters Alison “Don’t Throw Home” Hale and Chantal “Bud Light Lime” Bujold and the Rebels were completely overwhelmed. Newcomer Dave “Lefty” Dawson came out to shore up the outfield and was particularly impressive given that he wore a right handed glove on the wrong hand all game. “I thought it was a joke initially”, first baseman Chantal Bujold said incredulously. Dawson, who retired from baseball ten years ago had been repeatedly recruited by Saunders to come out all year as a substitute. “Quite frankly the reason I’m here tonight is just to get Steve off my case”, a clearly exasperated Dawson sighed. That said, the game was not all clear sailing. Several times runners seemed to be confused about the “tag-up” rule or what to do in the case of a deep pop fly giving up valuable bases or making base running errors during the game. “It wasn’t a big deal tonight, but those are the plays that come back to haunt you in a tight game in the tournament”, remarked outfielder Martin Desjardins. An early inning miscue also resulted in a rare in-the-park home run when outfielder Daros charge a hard liner that proceeded to fly over his head. Rover Patti Anderson provided a lighter moment in the game when she screamed uncontrollably at an approaching fly ball. Sure-footed outfielder Desjardins came gliding to the rescue, however, resembling a gazelle in full stride, to make the catch and re-assure a visibly shaken Anderson. Another odd play had Glen Rankin contesting a “safe” call by his own umpire at second base. As Rankin strode of the field he muttered “ I was out by a country mile” leaving his teammates standing there nonplussed. Not content to let sleeping dogs lie, Saunders continued to argue heatedly with Rankin throughout the inning over the play but cooler heads prevailed as the Fun Bunch settled down to business. And saving the best ‘til last, outfielder Richard “wild thing” Bujold continued his playful ways by skipping the game and not bothering to deliver the bats to the diamond leaving his teammates to plead with the Brawlers to share their bats and even provide their own game ball. “Honestly, there is never a dull moment with ‘wild thing’ on our team”, chuckled Rankin as his teammates shook their heads in disdain.
THIS IS GETTING UGLY
Fun Bunch season that “could have been” goes down in flames losing four of the last five games.
OTTAWA — After such a promising start--with nine straight wins to start the season--the Fun Bunch have officially run out of gas, losing four of the last five games in dismal fashion. Tonight was primed to be a tough game with the Fun Bunch facing the league’s reigning champs--the Aquabats--for the third time this season. Unfortunately half the team didn’t get the memo and failed to show up for the game. “We were a skeleton crew tonight and the Aquabats exploited our porous outfield”, remarked catcher Rowena Sams returning from vacation just in time to participate in the late season atrocity. In all fairness, the Fun Bunch started the game with only six players until Tea “The Terminator” Derakhshan and Dom “The Dominator” Angelo leisurely sauntered into the game in the second inning. “Well we would have had a better chance if we weren’t short six players”, said exasperated team captain Alison Hale . “I’m done trying to figure out what these people are thinking when they miss the most important game of the year leading up to the tournament”, she continued. Like the “little engine that could”, however, those Fun Bunch players that did show up tonight gave it their all but it simply wasn’t enough to defeat an overpowering Aquabats team. Smelling victory, the aquabats dropped hits like snowflakes between the infield and outfield all night. With only three outfielders there was nothing the Fun Bunch could do but watch helplessly as the Aquabat merry-go-round of runners continued unabated..On the positive side, all the Fun Bunch male players hit a home run tonight, including Scott “boom-boom” Saunders’ grand slam which put the team up 7-5 in the early innings. Unfortunately the Aquabats answered with five runs of their own and the Fun Bunch never challenged again to lose 20-12. The infield had a tough night, recording five errors at first base with stalwart Chantal “Bud Light Lime” Bujold out nursing a sore back. “There is no question we missed Chantal tonight, but she hasn’t missed a game all season and needed to rest her back before the tournament”, short stop Steve Saunders said matter-of-factly. Saunders was in the center of controversy in the sixth inning when he walked off the field without officially being put out. “I feel I let the team down tonight when I stormed off the field.”, Saunders recounted. “I deliberately dropped a hit in the opposite field and charged hard for second, but their first baseman would not get out of my way and deliberately impeded me. When the ball came into second I was stuck in no-man’s land and was furious at the interference that had occurred. I could have gone back to first but would have been a dead-duck for the next at-bat. I felt this was typical of the Aquabats and their arsenal of “dirty tricks” so I just left the field. It was the wrong thing to do”, Saunders admitted. One out later, the Fun Bunch were back in the field and the Aquabats never relinquished the lead. Paolo “let em slide” Daros once again proved that playing without cleats is no laughing matter when he misplayed two liners—one leading to the aquabats only home run—went it flew over his head causing him to fall on his keister chasing after it in his smooth soled tennis shoes. “I know Steve has been after me all year to buy baseball cleats but I didn’t think they were necessary. I was wrong and I want to apologize”, a clearly deflated Daros admitted. Let’s all hope Daros picks up some cleats between now and the tournament in three days time or we are all in for more of the same unfortunately. The good news is the Fun Bunch have one last shot at redemption when they play their last game of the season tomorrow night at Hampton Park. The bad news is that they are once again down to four guys as John “Hans Solo” Devries, Richard “Wild Thing” Bujold and Scott “boom-boom” Saunders have decided to take the night off at an inopportune time.
FUN BUNCH END REGULAR SEASON WITH WILD FINISH
Team explodes for eleven runs in ninth inning to annihilate Booze Houndz.
OTTAWA — In what should have been a cake walk, the Fun Bunch found themselves fighting for their pride and dignity when they faced the lowly C-league Booze Houndz Thursday night. Still smarting from an ‘ol fashion lambasting the night before, the Fun Bunch desperately wanted to finish the season on a high note. Unfortunately, no one told the Booze Hounds they were supposed to roll-over and play dead, so they came out guns a blazing to build a significant lead in the first few innings. The Fun Bunch were woefully unprepared for the hitting onslaught, as three of their guys decided to kick back and take the night off leaving their teammates to twist in the wind. It looked like the route was underway following three poor innings, where the Fun Bunch failed to score a run or advance anyone past second base. The game played out rather differently however as Steve “field marshall” Saunders took control of his dejected team. “Pull yourselves together for god’s sakes – we’re the Fun Bunch and we never—I repeat never—give up. Now get out there and give me five runs”, he barked at his shocked teammates. This clearly wasn’t going to be the same “mollycoddling” doled out by the bucketfuls from team captain Alison Hale that they had grown accustomed to. It turns out it was exactly what the team needed--a good hard kick in the derriere. All of a sudden it was a new ballgame. The Fun Bunch did get five runs capped off by a three run homer from Glen “the wrangler” Rankin as demanded by Saunders. The Booze Houndz seemed slightly perturbed as they made a quick dart for the beer cooler after the inning to lessen the sting. But then things started snowballing. All of a sudden the Fun Bunch had a couple of shut-down innings highlighted by some fantastic catches in the outfield. Martin “the gazelle” Desjardins loped across the outfield--covering enough real estate for two players—to snag a hit destined for the fence. Then Rankin dove for a ball that should have been a hit to rob the Booze Houndz of another single. Sure it wasn’t all smooth sailing. Palo “slip-n-slide” Daros continued his wake-board demonstrations in the outfield as he surfed around all night—hydroplaning on the wet grass and his slick tennis shoes. But you know what? The tide had started to turn and the Booze Houndz could feel that gut-wrenching panic gripping their team. All of a sudden the trips to the beer cooler became more frequent; tempers flared; unforced errors started to occur. They were caught in the vortex of defeat and they knew it. Meanwhile the Fun Bunch continued to make a statement. Dom “the Dominator” Angelo—still sporting a laceration from the previous night’s battle made a force out at third and then slapped her wet glove in the runner’s face to apply an unneeded tag for good measure. Tea “the Terminator” Derakhshan deftly fielded a grounder, made the force at second and then stomped her cleat down hard on the runners toe as they stepped on the bag. “Whoops – sorry”, she giggled. Still down by one run, heading into the ninth inning, the Fun Bunch new that they deserved this win and were not going to be denied. Once again Saunders rallied his troops. “Team – we’re out of home runs now so we will have to score some runs the old fashioned way—with solid hits and aggressive base running”, he instructed. And boy did they respond as they went on to “bat around” in the inning and score eleven runs—a new Fun Bunch single-inning record. Still with half an inning to go, the Booze Houndz trudged off the field. It was a long shambling walk back to a bone-dry beer cooler. They were hot, dirty, tired and humiliated. They had no fight left and went relatively quietly in the bottom of the ninth. It was better that way really. They were a C team that had the audacity to call in to question the character of the Fun Bunch and they had felt the sharp sting of their wrath.
FUN BUNCH START TOURNAMENT WITH A WIN
Team wins nail-biter against Stop Hitting on Us.
OTTAWA — The good news is they won. The bad news is they were playing “stop hitting on us” a weak C-team that they have trounced all season long and barely managed to pull off a 9-6 victory. “it’s clear that we will have to have more effective hitting to win against the A teams”, cautioned team captain Alison Hale. That is an understatement to say the least. The Fun Bunch managed four innings of three-up, three-down hitless batting to give “stop hitting on us” a chance at an upset. But typical stellar fielding was the difference for the Fun Bunch with a particularly superb catch by Glen “the wrangler” Rankin to rob the opposition of two runs the turning point of the game. “Had they scored those runs – the game is tied and the pressure is on us”, said outfielder Scott “boom-boom” Saunders making his first start in a post-season game. “I thought my brother had a strong game with two homers to put the game out of reach”, he continued. There was no loss of excitement for the “never-a-dull-moment” Fun Bunch when Richard “wild thing” Bujold showed up on three hours sleep. “I’ll be fine-just point me in the direction of the outfield”, he yawned. More theatrics occurred when Paolo “slip-n-slide” Daros pulled a hamstring on a charge to second base. To his credit he stayed in the game but we can only hope he manages to ice that puppy down and take one for the team.
FUN BUNCH SERVES UP STINKER IN LOSS TO ATHLETICS
Team drops to 1-1 in tournament – toughest game yet to come.
OTTAWA — They shuffled onto the diamond reeking of rubbing liniment and advil. This was a harbinger of things to come as the fun bunch embarrassed themselves with their worst game of the year. When it ended, their game sheet was squeaky clean making one wonder if a game had even been played. Officially it counts as a game, but it was as far from a game as one could imagine with only two runs scored and no home runs hit. “It was a colossal team break down offensively”, said charged-up third baseman Richard “wild-thing” Bujold. “They didn’t even have to break a sweat. We had soft liners to short resulting in force plays at second followed by lazy fly balls to the outfield”, he sputtered. In a paradoxical twist of fate, the team managed to muster two of their best defensive plays of the year. Glen “the wrangler” Rankin made an impossible catch, while sliding head first ten feet through the grass in the outfield resulting in a backwards cartwheel causing his glasses to spin off his head as he clutched the ball with wild abandon. He arose triumphantly from his self-made gully, spit out a mouthful of sod, and proudly proclaimed: “one out”. The second highlight was a masterful catch by Tea “the Terminator” Terakhshan at second base to make a key force out at second on a b-b throw by outfielder Scott “boom-boom” Saunders. “I could see it was coming in hot when Scott released the ball”, said short stop Steve “downtown” Saunders who had a front-row seat for the spectacle. “I found myself cringing a bit when I saw Tea standing there unaware of the impending danger”, he winced. But Tea stood her ground and held on despite the unbearable burning in her fingers. “Two down” she cried out in a high pitched wail. Honorable mention goes to Paolo “slip-n-slide” Daros who—barely able to walk—who did an admirable job platooning at third base as well as delivering some key hits with the assistance of a pinch runner. “I’m fine really”, he wheezed as his teammates helped him off the field with a fireman’s carry. Let’s hope the Fun Bunch can come up with a better effort for their third game against the pesky Aquabats.
FUN BUNCH STUN AQUABATS
Team beats league champions and move to 2-1 with a defensive gem.
OTTAWA — In a game that looked like it might be rained out, the Fun Bunch huddled under their umbrella’s and listened with trepidation as Steve “field marshall” Saunders read them the riot act. “You call yourselves ball players? You should all be ashamed to wear the Fun Bunch pinstripes after our last game”, he hollered over the inbound hurricane. When the clouds parted, the Fun Bunch knew exactly what must be done and proceeded to execute the battle plan to a “T”. Like the proverbial sows ear turning into a silk purse, Fun Bunch hitting—officially declared dead on arrival after last game—was successfully resuscitated. Leading the way was commander-in-chief Alison “bulldozer” Hale who rallied the troops by jarring two teeth loose from the Aquabats first baseman when she ran—shoulder first—across first base as he foolishly interfered with her as she bore down. “Sorry about that chief”, she chortled as he dug his teeth out of the dirt. Sporting a mouthful of blood and an anguished look he mouthed “fwank you” back to her. Oh but she wasn’t done yet. Newly rejuvenated after her successfully batting practice she proceeded to crush a pitch over everyone’s head for a stand-up double in the following inning. “If I was ten years younger that would have been an in-the-parker”, she said matter-of-factly as she tapped her cleats at second. Not to be outdone, Richard “wild thing” Bujold put on his own impressive show with a couple of spectacular plays to stop the ball and flip to Saunders at second base as he writhed in the wet clay. Maybe the prettiest play of the game occurred when Martin “the gazelle” Desjardins bore down on a well placed single up the middle, stabbed it with his glove and in one deft flick deposited it again in the outstretched mitt of Saunders—without ever handling the ball directly. “Spectacular is all I can say”, said the truly impressed shortstop. Rowena Sams generated some excitement of her own when she proceeded to beat out an infield hit, then advance to third on a single--by digging hard--and finally trot home on the next play to single-handedly manufacture the first run of the game. “I felt we needed a kick-start after our last outing”, she wheezed breathlessly after crossing home plate. The big inning came when Steve “downtown” Saunders lined a ball to the fence for a triple and then a couple of batters later the second of the “bash brothers”—Scott “boom-boom” Saunders—came to the plate and deposited the first pitch over the right field fence for a five run inning. But this was a team win with everyone contributing—including the plethora of fans who showed up to shout out their encouragement. Let it be known that the Fun Bunch have fired a warning shot over the bow of the Controllers who beat them in the regular season and will be their first opponent at 10 AM Sunday morning.
FUN BUNCH TAKE CONTROL OF THE CONTROLLERS
Team dishes out payback in retribution for late season upset loss.
OTTAWA — It seemed the Controllers got the idea that they were going to sleepwalk to an easy win against the Fun Bunch after beating them in a late season league game. Boy were they wrong. Still smarting from the upset, the Fun Bunch came prepared with battle lines drawn to teach the Controllers a lesson they won’t soon forget. Alison “Bulldozer” Hale provided the early inning heroics with majestic batting and some slick fielding plays. “I prefer to let my bat and glove to do the talking”, the seldom at loss for words captain retorted. Following her example, the rest of the team “stepped up to the plate” and delivered their own defensive marvel allowing only three runs including two solo shots and a “sympathy” run allowed at the end by the umpire. The Controllers failed to get a single base runner to second base and only a handful to first, in wave after wave of three-up three-down innings. Huddled comfortably in their ramshackle “tent city” comprised of tarps and bungee cords strung together to cover their dugout, the bleachers and two thirds of the parking lot, their slack-jawed expressions clearly reflected their astonishment. “They look all cozy over there and all, but we’re the Fun Bunch and our primary objective is to win, regardless of the inclement weather”, snapped feisty infielder Richard “wild thing” Bujold, still covered in pizza sauce from the previous night’s party. Outfielders put on a show with everyone getting in on the act--snagging fly balls and line drives left, right and center. Glen “the Wrangler” Rankin started the ball rolling with another sliding catch robbing the Controllers of a sure hit. The infield was equally tight with sure-footedness especially at second base, with the platoon-pair of “wild thing” and injured Paolo “slip-n-slide” Daros playing rock solid. The game was soon put out of reach when Steve “downtown” Saunders blasted a monster shot over the center field fence that landed on Island Park Drive, followed in the next inning by call-up Dave “Lefty” Dawson who countered with a solid right field shot that cleared the fence and scored three runs. Fun Bunch are now 3-1 and building momentum at the right time as they head into their final game of the tournament at 12:30 PM against the Rebels.
FUN BUNCH MAKE IT TO TOURNAMENT “A” FINAL
Team tames the Rebels with impressive 14-4 win.
OTTAWA — The Fun Bunch are advancing to the tournament “A” final to face the Athletics for the second time this weekend. Their previous meeting--that occurred on Saturday--ended with a loss, but the Fun Bunch felt they weren’t at their best in the defeat. “Our bats were uncharacteristically quiet that game”, remarked sure-handed first baseman Chantal “Bud Light Lime” Bujold. To get there however, the Fun Bunch were nothing short of spectacular in their game against the Rebels. Defense was simply breathtaking with zero errors recorded in the game. With each stellar catch, the wind seem to leave the sails of the Rebels who began in-fighting and quarrelling with the umpire as they began to realize they were in over their heads. Deciding she wanted to get in on the party, wayward rover Patti “gazoo” Anderson—so named for the gazoo-like batting helmet she wears—crushed a pitch into the deep part of left field for her farthest hit of the season and quite possibly her entire baseball career. “Everyone else was having so much fun hitting it deep I thought I would give it a try. And you know what? I liked it!”, she fervored. Martin “the Gazelle” Desjardins showed everyone his offensive prowess by crushing the only home run of the game to bring home three runs. “This kid can do it all. We’ve all seen him prowl the outfield and now he’s become a power hitter to boot. I swear if he had a twin brother they could form their own baseball team”, remarked clearly impressed catcher Rowena “Throw it Home” Sams. With the game slipping out of reach for the Rebels, third baseman Dom “the Dominator” Angelo and short stop Steve “Downtown” Saunders schemed up a little bit of excitement to impress the fans. When the next Rebel batter hit down the line—in a well rehearsed move—Angelo scooped the ball and flipped it gingerly to Saunders who proceeded to “mow down” the Rebel base runner with Bujold completing the play. “I have never, ever seen such a play”, said a stunned Rebels pitcher incredulously. Game, Set, and Match for the Fun Bunch who move on to face the Athletics in the final.
TOURNAMENT FINAL CANCELLED
Pandemonium ensues when game is cancelled due to “playing conditions”
OTTAWA —It got ugly at Carlington Park when convener Colin Bromfield took the unprecedented move of cancelling the league final game. “These diamonds are not playable”, he said nervously as his team attempted to uproot the bases from the ball park. They got more than they bargained for however when Fun Bunch short stop Steve “field marshall” Saunders dug in at second base and handcuffed himself to the bag. “You take this bag over my dead body”, he snarled. “We’ve not been to the final for twelve years and we will not be denied”, he continued. Tempers flared as Glen “the Wrangler” Rankin—always keen to join a good donnybrook—entered the fray and started throwing haymakers at anyone within punching distance. Ex-Sooners defensive linemen Scott “boom-boom” Saunders, Paolo “slip-n-slide” Daros and Richard “wild-thing” Bujold cheerfully came to the aid of their compatriots and a full-out riot ensued. Bromfield bolted for the safety of his Lada but was gang tackeled in the mud by Chantal “bud light lime” Bujold and Alison “Bulldozer” Hale who proceeded to tear the trophy from his hands and commence running around the infield in a jubilant victory trot. The Athletics could see they had tangled with the wrong team and slowly began falling back. Meanwhile the Fun Bunch made a fire of old tires at home plate and broke into a spontaneous rendition of “we are the champions” as they sipped champagne from the league trophy. Sensing the opportunity to amscray—Bromfield and his team bolted for their vehicles and squealed out of the parking lot leaving the Fun Bunch to celebrate their best tournament in a long, long time.
FUN BUNCH WIN CHAMPIONSHIP!
Team beats Athletics 8-5 in postponed final game.
OTTAWA — Whoever said “nice guys finish last” obviously never heard of the Fun Bunch. Capping a strong finish to a superb tournament, the Fun Bunch played another strong defensive game to beat perennial finalists – the Athletics. The game had been rescheduled from the tournament weekend due to bad weather. Since none of the fenced-in parks were available, that left Morrison as the park to host the championship. “Any diamond without a fence and a deep outfield like Morrison is going to play to our advantage because of our big hitters”, stated team captain Alison “bulldozer” Hale. “You can hit virtually unlimited home runs here which is what we intend to do”, she continued with a steely gaze. The Fun Bunch managed to field their entire team with the exception of Scott “boom-boom” Saunders including two players—Jen “Sunny Jen” Irvine and John “Hans Solo” Devries—who had missed the tournament entirely. “I wish boom-boom was here, but I’m glad everyone else could participate in this historic event”, said a visibly choked up Steve “downtown” Saunders. “I was here last time we won in 1999, so this win has been a long time in the making”, he bawled. Once again defense reigned supreme with outfielders Glen “the Wrangler” Rankin and Martin “the Gazelle” Desjardins reeling in hit after hit. Not to be outdone, Chantal “Bud Light Lime” Bujold had another excellent defensive game fielding balls on her own, catching anything within a country mile of first base and backing up second base as need be. With everyone contributing to the victory, Rowena “throw it home” Sams sacrificed her shins for the sake of the team when John “Hans Solo” Devries—having missed the final month of the season and the entire tournament—inexplicably threw the ball home from the outfield. With runners threatening to score on the play, Rowena tracked down the off-line throw and smothered it against her fibia with obvious discomfort. Sporting a purple bruise and an ice pack after the game Rowena defended her teammate. “John’s just a bit rusty after missing all those games. He didn’t know about our tournament strategy to get the ball into the infield as quickly as possible that’s all”, she winced. The defensive play of the game might easily have been the line drive caught by Jen “Sunny Jen” Irvine. “That ball was headed straight down the line for a double or more. If Jen doesn’t make that play, the game is tied”, said a clearly excited Glen “the Wrangler” Rankin who was watching the play unfold from the deep outfield. In a “déjà vu” moment, Dom “The Dominator” Angelo fielded a sharp grounder in late inning play and then tossed it to unsuspecting short stop Steve “downtown” Saunders for the throw to first. “Steve and I have been working on that play all year. It worked so well in the tournament I thought what the heck let’s give it another try”, said Angleo matter-of-factly, remnants of her facial laceration from the tournament still visible. With one glaring exception the Fun Bunch played stellar defense. That play occurred in of all innings—the ninth. With the Fun Bunch three outs away from hoisting the championship trophy for the first time in twelve years, Paolo “slip-n-slide” Daros moved into action. The Athletics hit a lazy grounder to Daros, who fielded the ball cleanly, took a deep breath, waited for “Bud Light Lime” Bujold to get her foot on the bag, and then threw the ball into the dirt in a slow motion horror show. “It looked like someone had sewn Velcro to his hand and the ball—I simply couldn’t believe it”, remarked astounded short stop Steve “downtown” Saunders. Offensively the Fun Bunch took advantage of the deep outfield to score three solo home runs. Glen “the Wrangler” Rankin hit a beauty into the trees in left field that made its way all the way to the road for a rare out-of-the-park home run. Martin “the Gazelle” Desjardins took advantage of his outstanding speed as he beat out an in-the-park hit for a home run as well. Steve “downtown” Saunders crushed a pitch to straight away center towering over the fielder’s head that allowed him to trot in to home for the third run of the game in what turned out to be the first run of a huge five run inning. This set the table for the next three batters to load the bases—with none out—to allow Richard “Wild Thing” Bujold to come to the plate. Richard, who was in the midst of a torrid hitting streak, looked directly at pitcher Steve “field marshal” Saunders and gave him a playful wink before depositing the first pitch into the stratosphere to hit a grand slam home run and ensure the win for the Fun Bunch. “That was the defining moment of the game”, said platoon partner Paolo “slip-n-slide” Daros as he high fived his teammate as he trotted over home plate. The twelve year drought had ended as the team hoisted—not easily—Wild Thing onto their shoulders and carried him off the field.