TOURNAMENT FINAL CANCELLED
Pandemonium ensues when game is cancelled due to “playing conditions”
OTTAWA —It got ugly at Carlington Park when convener Colin Bromfield took the unprecedented move of cancelling the league final game. “These diamonds are not playable”, he said nervously as his team attempted to uproot the bases from the ball park. They got more than they bargained for however when Fun Bunch short stop Steve “field marshall” Saunders dug in at second base and handcuffed himself to the bag. “You take this bag over my dead body”, he snarled. “We’ve not been to the final for twelve years and we will not be denied”, he continued. Tempers flared as Glen “the Wrangler” Rankin—always keen to join a good donnybrook—entered the fray and started throwing haymakers at anyone within punching distance. Ex-Sooners defensive linemen Scott “boom-boom” Saunders, Paolo “slip-n-slide” Daros and Richard “wild-thing” Bujold cheerfully came to the aid of their compatriots and a full-out riot ensued. Bromfield bolted for the safety of his Lada but was gang tackeled in the mud by Chantal “bud light lime” Bujold and Alison “Bulldozer” Hale who proceeded to tear the trophy from his hands and commence running around the infield in a jubilant victory trot. The Athletics could see they had tangled with the wrong team and slowly began falling back. Meanwhile the Fun Bunch made a fire of old tires at home plate and broke into a spontaneous rendition of “we are the champions” as they sipped champagne from the league trophy. Sensing the opportunity to amscray—Bromfield and his team bolted for their vehicles and squealed out of the parking lot leaving the Fun Bunch to celebrate their best tournament in a long, long time.
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