FUN BUNCH SERVES UP STINKER IN LOSS TO ATHLETICS
Team drops to 1-1 in tournament – toughest game yet to come.
OTTAWA — They shuffled onto the diamond reeking of rubbing liniment and advil. This was a harbinger of things to come as the fun bunch embarrassed themselves with their worst game of the year. When it ended, their game sheet was squeaky clean making one wonder if a game had even been played. Officially it counts as a game, but it was as far from a game as one could imagine with only two runs scored and no home runs hit. “It was a colossal team break down offensively”, said charged-up third baseman Richard “wild-thing” Bujold. “They didn’t even have to break a sweat. We had soft liners to short resulting in force plays at second followed by lazy fly balls to the outfield”, he sputtered. In a paradoxical twist of fate, the team managed to muster two of their best defensive plays of the year. Glen “the wrangler” Rankin made an impossible catch, while sliding head first ten feet through the grass in the outfield resulting in a backwards cartwheel causing his glasses to spin off his head as he clutched the ball with wild abandon. He arose triumphantly from his self-made gully, spit out a mouthful of sod, and proudly proclaimed: “one out”. The second highlight was a masterful catch by Tea “the Terminator” Terakhshan at second base to make a key force out at second on a b-b throw by outfielder Scott “boom-boom” Saunders. “I could see it was coming in hot when Scott released the ball”, said short stop Steve “downtown” Saunders who had a front-row seat for the spectacle. “I found myself cringing a bit when I saw Tea standing there unaware of the impending danger”, he winced. But Tea stood her ground and held on despite the unbearable burning in her fingers. “Two down” she cried out in a high pitched wail. Honorable mention goes to Paolo “slip-n-slide” Daros who—barely able to walk—who did an admirable job platooning at third base as well as delivering some key hits with the assistance of a pinch runner. “I’m fine really”, he wheezed as his teammates helped him off the field with a fireman’s carry. Let’s hope the Fun Bunch can come up with a better effort for their third game against the pesky Aquabats.
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