FUN BUNCH MAUL DOG’S BOLLOCKS
Easy one-sided victory extends streak
TEL AVIV – The fun bunch won their eighth game in a row and are still undefeated since the start of the season. They were playing the hapless Dog’s Bollocks, a gentle team that was in way over their head from the first pitch to the last pop out. With steve “field marshal’ saunders’ firm hand on the tiller, he instructed his crew of battle hardened veterans to “show no mercy”, as the fun bunch methodically eviscerated their opponents as instructed. The game got off on a sour note, however, when Andrew “gazelle” Campbell failed to show up as promised, leaving his teammates twisting in the wind. With the fun bunch first to bat, Richard “wild thing” Bujold quickly came to the plate. He was looking to impress as his ex-wife made a rare appearance and was watching from the bleachers. Striding up to the plate it was clear he had only one thing on his mind. But with no base runners on, “field marshal” cautioned him to “do the right thing” and “keep the ball in the park”. Sadly, that advice fell on deaf ears as “wild thing” wound himself up like a corkscrew in the batter’s box, intent on “clearing the fences”. One pitch later, he was out , a victim of his own pride, with a harmless pop up to end the inning. He lowered his head and slunk off the field, trying his best to avoid “field marshal’s” admonishing glare. Thankfully, this game was never close however, with the fun bunch taking the lead in the first inning and never relinquishing it. There were a pair of multi-run homers from the “bash brothers”, and a couple of two out five run innings as well, as the fun bunch just kept piling up the runs. One of the few highlights from the dog’s bollocks was the play of their left fielder who robbed nancy “knock ‘em out of the park” harris, Kathy “daredevil” adare, leah “roadrunner” morrel and Kelly “crusher” Campeau all of legitimate base hits. Adding to the bollocks’ offensive woe’s was their clearly inept pitcher who struck out a bevy of his own players, often with them flailing helplessly at unhittable pitches. In addition to their offensive onslaught, the fun bunch had some defensive highlights too. “field marshal’ and “wild thing” turned a rare double-play. “field marshal” made an over-the-shoulder catch when he realized the ball was going to drop in the shallow outfield for a hit. But the play of the game belonged to glen “the wrangler” rankin. Consistently solid, he goes about his business matter-of-factly with little fanfare and the demeanor of an accountant. But with one out to go to end the game, and the fun bunch getting thirsty, the dog’s bollocks hit a bloop single to left field. “That could score some runs” , noted third baseman leah “roadrunner” morrel as she watched helpless to make the play. But “the wrangler” came charging hard—all the way from the fence—determined to give it his best shot. At the last minute, when he realized he wasn’t going to make it, he dove head first towards the rapidly approaching ball. With his arm outstretched, his chin hit the turf hard, causing his jaw to snap shut as he bit down hard on his tongue. Tears of pain welled up in his eyes, but still he kept sliding, glove outstretched, unable to now feel his tongue. With the dogs bollocks’ baserunners rapidly clearing the base path, they seemed to be mounting a ninth inning rally. But just as the ball was about to hit the ground, “the wrangler” gave one final stretch, and caught it in the tip of his glove’s webbing—like an ice cream cone to win the game and keep the streak alive.
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