FUNBUNCH SLUMP CONTINUES
usual suspects cost team another win
OTTAWA-Cougars were on the prowl Thursday night at Hampton Park diamond. No, not members of the large cat family "felida", native to the americas, but rather the middle-aged, fun bunch women who had their sights set firmly on a certain cub in dire need of nurturing. That cub was newcomer Jamie "guns out" Smith, professional body builder and friend of new recruit Andrew "gazelle 2.0" Campbell. Straight from a workout session and sporting a torn "gold's gym" muscle shirt, he sent the fun bunch cougars into a frenzy when he agreed to shore up the lineup. Even with an inauspicious debut, he quickly developed a cult following despite his strikeouts and misplayed fly balls. "sign him up immediately", snarled former captain Alison "bulldozer" Hale unable to divert her glaze from his rippling muscles. "I second that motion" , drooled Kathie "daredevil" Adare, her eyes like saucers as she too had trouble focussing on the game at hand. Once again, captain, equipment manager, trainer , scout, webmaster, team blogger, coach and general manager steve "field marshal" saunders was behind the eight ball thanks to the triumvirate of scott "twist in the wind" saunders, clark "pound ' em back" lawlor and richard "wild thing" bujold, all of whom kicked back and enjoyed a night off at the expense of their teammates. Add to that list paolo "slip-n-slide" daros who informed "field marshal" last minute that he would be "a bit late" and then skipped the game entirely. In a season of unending surprises, "field marshal" came through once again, as he rounded up a couple of new players to try out for the team. Andrew "gazelle 2.0" Campbell , the son of hockey legend Murray "old school" Campbell and friend of "field marshal's" came out and made a big impact on the team as he flew around the outfield with blazing speed, resembling a younger Martin "the gazelle" Desjardins. Like martin, "gazelle 2.0" could do it all with a strong throwing arm and consistent hitting, finishing the night four-for-five and very nearly beating out an in the park home run. The other newcomer was Jane "homerun" Hazel, who earned her audition with a somewhat deceptive resume that boasted of her "triple crown" threat, despite not having played softball for thirty-five years. "homerun" did manage a decent debut with solid contact at the plate and fast speed down the line despite getting on base only once--compliments of her propensity to hit the ball directly at the shortstop. The game itself was a relatively close affair with opportunities for the fun bunch to take the lead several times but lack of clutch hitting was an issue with a plethora of pop-ups and soft grounders to short quickly extinguishing any rallies-in-the-making. Sure steve "downtown" saunders parked a three-run shot in the third inning to make the score 5-7, but the team could not maintain that momentum as they were out-scored 7-3 in the next three innings. Adding to the team's woes was a singleton homerun by John "hans solo" Devries who giddily explained to the other team where he got his well deserved nick-name as he rounded the bases chuckling all the while. Leah "free play" morrel had another remarkable game as she went five-for-five and very nearly pulled of a razzle-dazzle play with "field marshal" as she flipped him a grounder at third for a close bang-bang play at first. Attempting to earn her captain's C back one stitch at a time, Alison "bulldozer" Hale had back-to-back gritty hits up the middle to do her part to rally the team late in the game. But alas, pop-ups, ground outs and strikeouts proved the fun bunch's undoing as they lost another game, this one 17-12.
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