OFFENSIVE ONSLAUGHT
Fun Bunch score 32 runs in eight innings to win sixth in a row in one-sided rout
OTTAWA-The Fun Bunch scored 32 out of a possible 40 runs in eight innings of play on Thursday to completely overwhelm the new "bass line station" expansion team who managed to score only eleven runs in response. The Fun Bunch took the lead in the first inning on Steve "downtown" Saunders' two run homer and never looked back. The stats are impressive: 5-five run innings--including the last three innings in a row, runs scored in each and every inning, every single player scoring at least one run, no fewer than two runs scored in each inning and four home runs including two in-the-park homers. Missing team captain Alison "bulldozer" Hale, acting captain Steve "field marshall" Saunders has guided the team to impressive back-to-back victories in her absence including an equally impressive total of 54 runs. "This team is running like a well-oiled machine", Saunders affirmed. "My philosophy is simple -- either you contribute or you sit out", he continued matter-of-factly explaining his teams success. And boy did the team contribute! Dom "the dominator" Angelo led the way for the women with five hits and five runs scored. Martin "the gazelle" Desjardins led the way for the men with an incredible six hits and six runs scored for a perfect 1.000 average on the night with Scott "boom-boom" Saunders also averaging 1.000 on the night with five hits and five runs scored. Jamie "the machine" Anderson continued to impress, crushing one hit over the center fielder's head that rolled all the way to the fence. Her defense was equally impressive as she short hopped a hard grounder at third and then proceeded to throw out the base runner who was sprinting towards first. In addition, she charged a bunt in front of home plate and stunned the batter when she managed to dig it out and beat him by a half step at first with a blazing throw. A few bolts however, still need some tightening, as was evident when chronically absent fielder Paolo Daros hit a deep two-out fly ball that bounced off the fence, yet somehow managed only a double as he sauntered leisurely around the bases, admiring his hit for far too long, seemingly mesmerized by his hitting prowess--costing his team an opportunity to score another run. When asked why he ignored his team's shrieks of "keep running" and "stop watching the ball" and "bust your hump", Paolo inexplicably replied, "wow did I ever hit that far". As the lead became insurmountable, there were rumblings in the fun bunch dugout about letting up. Furious at the suggestion, "field marshall" Saunders instructed his team to "keep your foot firmly on their throat until the game ends" and the mutiny quickly subsided. But perhaps the most spectacular play of the night occurred in the eighth inning. With Bass Line Station attempting a rally, the hitter managed to hit a pitch to the warning track near Scott "boom boom" Saunders. Sensing an opportunity, Steve "downtown" Saunders planted himself firmly on the bag at second and urged his brother to put some mustard on it as the runner dug in, determined to reach second. Just like that it was over, as the throw came in perfectly on-line and with a ton of heat, directly into "downtown's" outstretched mitt as he quickly turned and planted his shoulder firmly into the midsection of the rapidly advancing baserunner--knocking the wind out of him-- before slapping him twice for good measure with his glove as he applied the tag. Wheezing and unable to catch his breath, the embarrassed player was helped off the field, pride in tow to end the ballgame, the latest victim of the fun bunch juggernaut.
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