OTTAWA – In a truly rare event—like a planetary alignment or a transit of venus—perennially truant players Richard “wild thing” Bujold, John “hans solo” Devries and Paris “song bird” Patricelli all showed up for the funbunch game on Wednesday night at Hampton Park diamond. “I should have bought a lottery ticket”, chuckled adrian “sweetspot” seaman, after shaking his head to make sure he wasn’t seeing double.

In fact this was the first game of the year for both “hans solo” and “wild thing”, having eschewed the previous five games seemingly preoccupied with other “more important” events. Leah “the roadrunner” Morrell also bolstered the ranks with a new addition, Sarah “launchpad “ Lord – an experienced ball player and all-round athlete to bring the total to eight guys and five girls for a grand total of 13, the largest roster posted in over a decade.

The team was still smarting from their first loss of the season two weeks ago, a squeaker 20-16 at the hands of “Got the Runs”. With their initial shot at redemption cancelled last week (ostensibly due to rain) , they were eager for a chance to wipe the slate clean and re-start their winning streak tonight –and avoid the further wrath of steve “field marshal” saunders.

“Wild thing” was as usual in fine form. When umpiring, he was “holding court” with the other team’s catcher – oblivious to the game unfolding around him. Chatting and laughing, he guffawed, and slapped his thigh at his own jokes, disturbing his own teammates in the batter’s box in the process—throwing off their concentration and causing them to mis-time their swing. Despite their scowls and stern glares, he continued merrily with his shenanigans, seemingly enjoying himself immensely at their expense.

In the field he was positioned at second base. A risky decision given his lack of preparation and the sheer volume of traffic that typically comes in that general direction. It turned out to be a bad move as “wild thing” struggled to field a ball cleanly for the first few innings. Over his shoulder, off his shin, through his legs. The permutations seemed endless. At one point he chased a ball into the outfield only to drop it as he juggled it awkwardly. Not finished yet, he wallowed in the mud—like a wart hog—trying to get a grip on the ball as it squirted from his hand over and over again as he fought a losing battle with the frictionless orb.

His teammates were not impressed. Kathie “daredevil” adare , playing first base, rolled her eyes heavenward and shook her head. “launchpad” looked perplexed at the uncomfortable vaudeville act she was witnessing and wondered if she had in fact come to the right diamond.

On top of “wild thing’s” chicanery, the “Bons Vivants” were racking up some hits leaving the fun bunch down 8-6 after three innings.

Having seen enough, team co-captain Alison “bulldozer” Hale—out for the season due to her hamstring injury but in the dugout to keep score—laid in to her team. “For crying out loud will someone catch a ball out there. We’re playing the Bons Vivants for gawds sake. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. And by the way “wild thing”, enough of your sideshow at second base. Just hunker down and stop the darn ball!”, she hollered at the top of her lungs. Everyone collectively lowered their heads. She was absolutely right. They were playing awful and staring at the unthinkable—losing two games in a row. A shameful feat that had occurred only once in over 35 years.

Jess “bullseye” Belanger started the rally. A barrage of hits followed. When the dust settled they had score four runs and were up 10-8.

Defense then kicked into high gear. “wild thing” followed his directive and hunkered down. The outfield caught fly balls. The infield turned double plays.

The fun bunch scored five runs – twice-- without a home run. In fact in the fifth inning they scored five runs without a single out. The team was running in high gear now. The Bons Vivants felt the inexorable shift in momentum and they were helpless to stop it. They were being mercilessly slaughtered by the funbunch dreadnought. Their night was over and they knew it. They were now praying for a merciful fate.

With eight guys in the dugout, three had to sit out every inning. That meant that everyone got a chance to play different positions. Making the most of his audition was glen “the wrangler” rankin. Snagging the coveted short stop location, every time “field marshal” sat out, he put on quite a defensive show culminating in a perfectly executed fake throw home. Seeing him lunge towards home plate, the runner at second came off the bag and headed for third. But the wily “wrangler” hung on to the ball and quickly pivoted to tag her out to end the inning. Spiking the ball he jogged off the field. Watching all the while in the dugout—and none to impressed-- was the “field marshal”. As glen garnered congratulations and high fives from his teammates, the “field marshal” was relegated to “what-have-you-done-for-me-lately-status”. He put his arm around “the wrangler” when he came into the dugout. “well done kid – but time to take your foot off the gas”, he whispered as he squeezed ever harder. “the wrangler” let out a yelp. He got the message and shook his head nervously in acknowledgement.

Lowering the boom, the team was up 20-12 heading into the eighth inning. Hits by “launchpad”, “bullseye”, and “wild thing” loaded the bases. With none out, “field marshal” couldn’t believe his good fortune. He pressed his hands together and cast his eyes heavenward in a “thank-you” gesture. He hadn’t had the opportunity to park a ball yet this game, but by god this one was going to get parked. As he grabbed his trusty Louisville Slugger and strode to the plate his teammates urged him on. But then the unmistakable voice of john “hans solo” rose above the cacophony. “Yeah you could be a real hero – or a real goal”, he wheezed, chuckling smugly at his ill-timed jibe. “field marshal” stopped dead in his tracks. The dugout went silent with a collective gasp. All eyes turned on “hans solo” who seemed to shrink to the size of a violet. “hans solo” gulped hard. But “field marshal” instead broke into a wide smile and cast “hans solo” a playful wink. “They’ll be no goats tonight hans”, he retorted as he stepped into the batters box and pummelled the first pitch over the fence and into the awaiting maw of an oversized pit-bull in the nearby dog park.

With one inning to go the fun bunch defense allowed only a single run on great defense by the outfielders “sweetspot”, ryan “man-o-war” matishuck , scott “boom-boom” saunders, “bullseye” (who finished the night an impressive 6-for-6). With another outstanding defensive play, “launchpad” fielded a hard grounder at third and gunned out the hapless runner at first. Heck even “wild thing” and clark “pound em back” lawlor finished the game strong with some great infield plays and a 4-5-3 double play. Fun bunch win 25-14 and commence a brand new one game winning streak. Their record now stands at 5-1.