LUCKY NUMBER SEVEN
Solid team effort keeps Fun Bunch unbeaten this year
OTTAWA - On a night when "downtown's" doghouse was packed to the rafters, Richard "wild thing" Bujold, was in and out so many times, they had to install a turnstile. He wasn't the only culprit, of course, but he was the most frequent visitor. "It's too bad, they don't give air miles for each visit, otherwise 'wild thing' could fly to jamaica", noted john "methuselah" devries as he watched gobsmacked at "wild thing's" hijinks. The Fun Bunch were playing a tough team -- the main street crawlers-- who had just come off an ol' fashioned pummelling of the hapless bon vivants, and were looking to maintain their momentum. Unfortunately, the Fun Bunch, got off to a slow start and for the first time this season, scored only a single run after three full innings. Which brings us back to "wild thing". In the second inning, with Taylor "the terror" Albert and Glen "the wrangler" Rankin at first and second and two out, "wild thing" came to bat. On the pitching mound, Steve "field marshal" Saunders was trying to coach him into hitting a solid ground ball to score a badly needed run. Sadly, "wild thing" was bound and determine to "hit one over the fence" at all costs--a brazen "all or nothing" play. One pitch later, his selfish decision registered a "nothing" as he popped out weakly to end the inning and leave base runners stranded earning him once again a one-way ticket to the doghouse--his first, but not last of the night. Meanwhile, the Fun Bunch were playing with only four guys as three players decided to kick back and let the team twist in the wind. The first laggard to arrive late was John "hans solo" Devries when he sauntered into the dugout after two innings giggling and weaving. "Sorry I'm late, we had a dinner party", he slurred, giggling once more and then farted as if to further punctuate his announcement. Next up was Scott "boom boom" Saunders, who sauntered into the diamond in the middle of the third inning, casually reading his latest "friend requests" on facebook as his teammates were fighting for their lives on the ball diamond. Yawning he did some stretching before donning his cleats and making his way to the outfield clearly in no hurry. And last but not least was Andrew "the gazelle" Campbell. It took him a full four innings before he decided to show up. "Sorry field marshal, I thought the game was at 8:30, can I still play?", he inquired genuinely enough. Seething, but realizing that he would need "the gazelle" to beat Main Street Crawlers, "field marshal" reluctantly agreed to let him join the squad, but only after he made him do fifty push-ups. At this point the game was very close 4-2 after four innings. Alison "Bulldozer" Hale--who had only recently returned from her sojourn in Paris-- decided she had seen enough. Although she had been away for three long weeks, dining on coq au vin, bouillabaisse and wonderful beaujolais, leaving her teammates high and dry during the toughest part of the schedule she decided that she needed to lead by example. She confidently strode to the plate, cast a playful wink at steve "field marshal" saunders and demanded he "toss one in like a beach ball". One pitch later she was one first (albeit huffing and puffing a bit from all the fine French cuisine) and the rally had started. Scott "boom boom" Saunders soon joined her and then Andrew "the gazelle" Campbell. Desperately in need of some runs, "field marshal" gave "the gazelle" the green light and he crushed the first pitch over the fence. Fun Bunch scored four runs to take the lead 8-2. The plucky Main Street Brawlers however hunkered down in their dugout to reassess their strategy over a couple of ice-cold tall boys. A quick huddle later they came to bat and proceeded to have their biggest inning of the night as they scored four runs. In the previous inning, "wild thing" had worked his front paw out of the doghouse by delivering a clutch single to drive in a run. Unfortunately, he managed to squander that goodwill and do a quick about-face back into the doghouse in the fifth. With two out and a runners at first and second, a soft grounder was hit right over second base. With "wild thing" out of position, a quick-thinking "field marshal", dove for the ball to get a chance for an out. His face turned ashen, however, as all color drained out of it when he realized with gut-wrenching horror that there was no one to throw the ball to. Inexplicably, "wild thing" stood transfixed as the play unfolded. As "field marshal" went for the ball, "wild thing" failed to cover the bag and the runners advanced. You can probably guess what happened next. First pitch, grand slam, four runs scored. Back to the doghouse for "wild thing". In the six inning, the Fun Bunch did what they do best when faced with adversity - they dig in. First batter Kathy "daredevil" Adare - single. Next Glen "the wrangler" Rankin - single. Runners at first and second. Next up Taylor "the terror" Albert - single. Bases loaded. Hits by "hans solo", "bulldozer", "wild thing", and "boom boom" and the Fun Bunch had scored five runs--all without using up a home run or an out--and "wild thing" had worked his front paw and head back out of the doghouse. Score 13-6 Fun Bunch. A poor seventh inning and the score was now 14-12 heading into the eight. "Look team - we really need a couple of big innings here. Our undefeated streak is on the line. Let's dig deep and get five runs and take some pressure off", "field marshal" encouraged his teammates. Hits by Leah "roadrunner" Morel, "daredevil", and "the wrangler" loaded the bases. Richard "wild thing" Bujold marched to the plate--ice in his veins. He wanted nothing less than total vindication. He wanted out of that doghouse in a bad way. There was no playful wink, no theatrics, no hijinks. "Wild thing" Dug in at the plate, spit in both hands, took three practice swings and stood, arms loaded, like a coiled spring. "I feel good about this", thought "downtown" to himself, as he tossed in one of his now legendary beach balls to "wild thing". "Wild thing" swung so hard he nearly fell over. Mouths fell agape. He had hit the ball dead in the sweet spot and it was still rising. There was no question this one was leaving the park, the only question was when it would stop. "Wild thing" got up, dusted himself off and trotted around the bases to the exultation of his teammates. As he crossed home plated he cast a wayward glance towards the pitching mound where he caught site of "field marshal" flashing him the thumbs up sign while mouthing "you're out of the doghouse ". Score 19-12 Fun Bunch. The Fun Bunch scored three more in the top of the ninth on hits by Rowena "scoresheet" Sams, "roadrunner", "the gazelle", Clark "pound 'em back" Lawlor, and "downtown" to finish the inning 22-13. Main Street however, got a rally going and hit a grand slam home run to make the score 22-17 but their rally was extinguished on a great play by "the wrangler". With a bloop hit to shallow left field that was dropping in for a hit, "the wrangler" charged the ball. The ball picked up speed as it accelerated downwards, complements of Newtonian physics. With the game potentially on the line, "the wrangler" dove head first for the ball, risking life and limb, as he managed to get the tip of his glove on it. Meanwhile he was sliding through the wet and slippery sod while he tried to ensnare the ball that seemed to confound him and refuse to enter his glove. By this point, mud, grass and water were squirting everywhere. "The wranglers" Glasses were fogged and smeared with dirt. As the ball took one last careen off his webbing, it began to drop to the ground. Those his visibility was nil, "the wrangler" opened his glove one last time and snapped blindly in the direction of the ball in a desperate attempt to trap it. This time, the wet leather caught hold and he lifted his hand triumphantly in the air. Three out, Fun Bunch win 22-17.
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