FUN BUNCH MAKE AN IMPACT WITH FIFTH WIN
Game ends on sour note as losing team accuse fun bunch of cheating
OTTAWA-With team captain Alison Hale away on vacation, Steve "field marshall" Saunders firmly took the reins of the team. "There's a new sheriff in town", he calmly advised his worried teammates. "Anyone looking for a feel-good have-fun touchy-feely experience can leave the field now", he gruffly instructed. Having drawn that line in the sand, and with his teammates all onboard, they proceeded to buckle down and execute a tight battle plan eking out a narrow one run victory in the process. With tempestuous weather threatening all night long, both teams fortuitously managed to stay high and dry as the turbulent storm encircled them. The new-to-the-league Impact team managed to confound the fun bunch outfielders for most of the game with several errors contributing to their early lead. A questionable defensive strategy of playing just three outfielders no doubt contributed to the offensive onslaught by Impact as acres of real-estate were left virtually unattended. Impact fielded a very strong offensive lineup--both male and female--keeping the fun bunch on the ropes for most of the game and smashing three home runs with relative ease. The game got off to a foreboding start when rusty first baseman chantal "bud light lime" bujold mishandled the first three tosses that came her way opening the flood gates in the first couple of innings. "Bud light lime" was playing in her first game of the season and in an effort to preserve her badly deteriorating back, opted to skip warm-up which effectively became the first two innings of play. Resembling "Mr. Magoo", Chantal squinted and strained her eyes to make out the rough shapes and colors of Steve "downtown" Saunders as he reared back and unleashed throw after precision throw that mysteriously evaded her snare. "I forgot my glasses", she chortled to her unamused teammates, willing to cut her only so much slack due to her precarious condition and lack of preparation. But like a trooper "bud light lime" settled down and started looking more like her old self as she began calmly fielding some real heat once she had warmed up. In addition Chantal came through big time with her bat, going four-for-five and crunching a number of extra base hits as she grimaced through the pain as pinch runner Tea "the terminator" Derakhshan proved no match for the Impact fielders with her blazing speed . Down 10 to 6 heading into the top of the fourth inning and trailing since the first, the fun bunch listened attentively as "field marshall" issued new directives. "the next person to fly or ground out is benched" he stated matter-of-factly. "I want five runs, right now and the lead", he continued. As if one queue, the team followed orders as Tea, Dom, John, Rick and Martin all scored in quick succession to net five runs in the inning and give the fun bunch the first lead of the game. Feeling the game slip from their tenuous grasp, Impact responded with a couple of jaw-dropping home-town calls to keep their runners on base despite clearly being thrown out. When the second of the disputed calls occurred at second base-with Martin "the gazelle" Desjardins juggling a hard grounder before gaining control and firing it into the outstretched mitt of "downtown" to beat the baserunner by a step and a half-- John "Hans Solo" Devries decided he for one had had enough. Overruling the umpire with a spirited shout of "OUT", the clearly confused, ersatz umpire quickly changed his mind and muttered "out" meekly --much to the chagrin of his irked teammates.Up by only a single run at the top of the sixth inning, Dom "the Dominator" continued her torrid hitting streak with her third straight hit of the game and got aboard. Sensing what needed to be done, Steve "downtown" Saunders instructed his little brother Scott "boom-boom" Saunders to "toss it in slow like a beach ball". One pitch later, the ball narrowly missed escape velocity and settled into the deep grass in the adjacent dog park scoring two runs. When the dust had settled, the fun bunch had a more comfortable 17-12 lead. But Impact was not about to roll over and play dead just yet as they continued their hitting extravaganza chalking up six runs in the next two innings to once again take the see-saw lead 18-17 heading into the eighth inning. After a miserable three up three down seventh inning saw "downtown" stranded in the on-deck circle, he decided that for the sake of the team, he would swallow his pride and blast a solo shot to tie the game. "Look, I never, ever do that, but the game was on the line and after last inning I didn't want to be stranded on second base", he further clarified. Following his brother's lead, Scott "boom-boom" Saunders, tagged a pitch over the fence in deep center to bring in three more runs for a five run inning putting the fun bunch up 22 - 20. However, the game took an ominous turn when the Impact infielders informed Dom "the dominator" Angelo that she "was out" and instructed her to leave the field as she was joyously trotting around the bases. It seemed Impact had miscalculated and assumed "boom-booms" home run was the fourth of the game. After seemingly clarifying the misunderstanding, "the dominator" and "boom boom" continued their victory trot much to the consternation of Impact. With the top of the ninth looming and a narrow two run lead, the fun bunch played great defensively --including an astounding catch by 3rd baseman Jamie "MVP" Anderson--her second of the game-- and allowed Impact only a single run to clinch the win. Embodying the ethos of poor sportsmanship, a visibly enraged Impact fielder accused the fun bunch of cheating to win the game when he sarcastically congratulated them for "winning the game by hitting four homers" in the hand-shake line at the end of the game. John "Hans Solo" Devries and Steve "field marshall" Saunders understandably took exception to the accusation and confronted the culprit. "Just what do you mean by that?", "hans solo" inquired, sensing a situation that needed to be set right. "This is a fun league -- we don't need to do that to win", "field marshall" calmly retorted his blood beginning to boil as their teammates wisely separated the combatants. When informed of the strange turn of events, absent fielder Glen "the Wrangler" Rankin was left a little dejected at the thought of missing out on "all the action", but it was probably all for the best.
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