FUN BUNCH WIN. FUN BUNCH WIN. FUN BUNCH WIN.
Team shakeup yields big dividends
OTTAWA-A sombre pall descended on the fun bunch dug out. They had lost the last two games in a row in shameful fashion. Senior management was plotting some form of drastic action to kick start the sputtering offense. "Look we have assembled a team that should be contending and instead they are playing disgraceful baseball", said general manager and hall of fame alumnus soren "scoop" sorensen, refusing to sugar coat what everyone else was thinking but afraid to say out loud. "That is unacceptable and will not continue. Starting today Alison "mollycoddler" Hale has been stripped of her co-captaincy and we have instated Steve "stalwart" Saunders as sole captain of the team. Furthermore Scott "twist in the wind" Saunders has been issued an ultimatum - show up for the game tonight or report to pawtucket tomorrow", Sorensen continued matter-of-factly. There, the gauntlet had been dropped - but would the team respond? With new leadership at the helm, "stalwart" wasted no time in putting his stamp on the team. "Listen here you maggots. There will be no more "kumbaya'ing" on my watch. We aren't here for a good time - we're here to win. And you know how we're going to win? with good ol' fashioned hard work. So prepare to get dirty, bust your hump, and do what it takes to chalk up a win for this team", "stalwart" continued in one steady stream of vitriol barely able to catch his breath. Clearly, the team was under new management. Gone was the gentle cooing of "mollycoddler" encouraging players to "try their best" and reminding them that "it's just a game" --harshly replaced by the staccato bravado of Steve "field marshal" Saunders. "field marshal"--a wily veteran of twenty-eight seasons and defacto team leader--knew exactly how to proceed to stem the bleeding. "Stop feeling sorry for yourselves and stop your snivelling. You made this mess and you're about to clean it up. Have some pride for gawds sake", he bellowed at his visibly shaken subordinates. "We are going to follow my battle plan with mathematical precision , but be forewarned it will involve blood, sweat, toil and tears", "field marshal" continued, spittle flying from his jowls as the team stood aptly at attention, terrified and nonplussed. Gracing the team with his presence for the first time this season was Scott "twist in the wind" Saunders. Only under the threat of demotion to the minor-league franchise had he decided to show up for a game--a shameful lack of commitment. His lack of preparation clearly showed as he waltzed to the pitching mound and proceeded to baffle fun bunch batters with an assortment of crazy pitches--none even remotely approaching the plate. But the team took "field marshal's" battle plan to heart and started out with a strong four run first inning and followed it up with an even stronger five run second inning. "scoop" was looking like a genius right now as the change of leaders had worked like magic. The crawlers put some runners on base, but could not maintain any sort of sustained effort as the fun bunch chipped away with runs in almost every inning including a gargantuan home run by "twist in the wind" and four runs scored by leah "free play" morrel. Sure it wasn't completely smooth sailing as the ever entertaining Richard "wild thing" Bujold juggled a routine fly ball before dropping it like a hot potato and then throwing it off line like a bar of soap gripped too tightly, to rob his team of an easy out. Yet there was a different vibe to the team with "field marshal" at the helm. Confidence replaced diffidence. Motivation replaced apathy. Determination replaced hesitation. With an impressive 21-11 victory to break out of their winless slump, the team will be looking to win again next week and start the slow climb to the top of the division, "field marshal's" steady hand firmly on the rudder.
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