OTTAWA-Steve “field marshal” Saunders simmering anger was slowing but surely turning into a full blown rage. He had heard “through the grapevine” about talk of insurrection bordering on mutiny spearheaded by none other than Richard “wild thing” Bujold. It seemed “wild thing” was still smarting from his well deserved chastisement over his antics in last weeks game. No stranger to these common rebukes he had decided in his own misguided way to take matters into his own hands and “set things right” once and for all.

His plan was to ambush his teammates at the next Ottawa red blacks game unsuspectingly at their local pre-game restaurant Faleenas. He giggled with excitement as he sat himself down with his soon-to-be allies and began his verbal assault on the team’s decorated captain and leader extraordinaire. “What is it with this guy – yelling at the rookies when they make mistakes and hurting their feelings”, he commenced. “And how about him singling me out when I have the odd error because I’m not paying attention. I thought the team was called the “fun” bunch. Heck we should change the name to the “un-fun” bunch” for gawds sakes. We need a change of leadership – who’s with me!” he bellowed as he continued his blistering attack.

He took a deep breath, quite pleased with himself for his fine performance, then settled himself comfortably and swivelled his head about to survey his audience and gauge their reaction.

You could hear a pin drop. Not only his team, but everyone in the restaurant had stopped eating and dropped their utensils. Everyone sat in collective disbelief as this man, this charlatan, this pretender had dared to asail their revered and defenseless leader. The man who had single-handedly led the team to a record five straight league finals. The man who had rejuvenated the team with a bevy of talented young prospects. The man who established his now legendary “boot camp” for rookies. The man who now ravaged by pain, unable to sit or stand comfortably , still came to all the games fully regaled in uniform, to provide his stellar pitching, coaching and mentoring skills to his beloved fun bunch – a team he had played for in 34 of their 36 year existence including an unprecedented 34 year iron-man all star streak.

All of a sudden “wild thing” began to feel uncomfortable and started to squirm like a coach roach approaching its impending and ungainly demise. He wasn’t feeling nearly so pleased with himself now and began to doubt his poor judgement. His teammates savaged him verbally while the rest of Faleena’s patrons encircled the now failed insurgent. His coup had backfired miserably. “wild thing” licked his dry and cracked lips nervously while tears welled up in his eyes. His body began to tremble violently. He felt damp warmth as his bladder voided. He began to cry.

The fun bunch spectator gallery had been growing every week. Paris “songbird” Patricelli’s mother Marta was a regular. Even Meghan “marathon” Saunders and “songbird’s” aunt—and “field marshal’s wife-- Teresa had been coming to the games to cheer on her nieces and quaff a pint or two at whispers. Leah “roadrunner” Morrell’s fiancée Nigel was also here tonight as he was on occasion. But there was a newcomer in the group. Anne “Annabelle” Burton – a neighbor of “field marshal’s” who had been hearing about the fun bunch for years now. “field marshal” sent her a copy of the latest game report and she was hooked. Doubled over in laughter, she asked to be added to the distribution list and notified of any upcoming games so she could attend—no doubt the allure of whispers adding to the incentive. “I laughed so hard my sides hurt”, she giggled as she told field marshal of her reaction to the game report. “Absolutely, I’d be glad to add you to the list. You know in all the years that I’ve written the game reports, the only person who told me they didn’t like them was my wife! So I took her off the list. Other than that, I have got nothing but positive feedback”, “field marshal” explained matter-of-factly. “Are you serious!?”, “Annabelle” inquired incredulously. “I know, I know, I don’t get it either – but I guess some people have no sense of humour”, “field marshal” replied while shrugging his shoulders.

The fun bunch were playing “got the runs” tonight. Yet when their team started filing into the dug out Leah “roadrunner” morrel did a double take. “Are we playing the athletics tonight” , she inquired quizzically. Upon closer inspection, sure enough, player after player from the Athletics were making a bee line for the “got the runs” dugout. When asked about the odd lineup, their captain hissed, “we were short players” in response.

The fun bunch had Jack “jack hammer” Lawlor coming out to shore up the team as well as neophyte Keegan “ silver-tongue“ Irwin,--"song bird’s” boy friend--as the team was missing clark “pound ‘em back” lawlor, Glen “the wrangler” Rankig and of course still injured steve “field marshal” saunders.

Meanwhile, “field marshal” was patiently awaiting the arrival of “wild thing” in order to settle the score over his failed coup attempt. Did they still allow drawing-and-quartering he mused – giggling at the prospect. Probably not came his own sombre reply after several minutes of thoughtful rumination. What about evisceration? Hanging in chains? Or the gibbet? Those seemed like reasonable compromises and well suited to the crime—his mood lightened one more time. But once again, he dashed his own hopes after he failed to recall the last time someone was placed in a gibbet in Ottawa. Oh well, I guess he would just have to stick to an ol’ fashioned verbal diatribe. A small grin appeared on his face and then widened at the thought. However, his hopes were dashed when he received a cryptic text from “wild thing”, two minutes before game time. “can’t play, sorry”, leaving “field marshal”--not for the first time—angry and exasperated.

The fun bunch started the game with a tidy five run first inning. Got the runs had a miserable inning scoring a paltry one run. Their unruly shortstop (what is it with unruly shortstops in this league?) popped out meekly and smashed his bat in the ground to express his displeasure spurring the fun bunch fans to nickname him “feisty” on the spot.

As the game wore on “feisty” demonstrated more ineptitude at the plate and further displays of anger and frustration. Similarly, he was a one-man error-fest at short stop as he bobbled, kicked and misplayed one ball after the next – making “wild thing” look like a gold glover in comparison.

As the game wore on the fun bunch displayed stellar defense shutting them out completely for three innings. “pound em back” made a fantastic catch at the fence, jumping right into the support post to make the play , but holding on none the less. This helped make up for his bone headed base running error when he was picked off first as well as his selfish “solo” home run – his second in as many games.

“silver-tongue” was making quite a debut himself as he hit with precision and ran with reckless abandon in right field to catch every ball that came within a country mile of him—as “field marshal” quietly took note. “jack hammer” was doing an admirable job at short as well. While filling “field marshal’s “ hall of fame shoes was no easy feat , he was doing his darndest making some nice throws to his mommy at first in the process.

The offensive highlight of the night occurred in the third inning. With the bases loaded , the youngest of the “bash brothers” scott “boom boom” saunders strode to the plate. With a grand slam in the offing, “field marshal” wanted to make sure he “parked one” over the fence. With “boom boom” dug in at home plate, “field marshal” served up a floating beach ball—one that had a bulls-eye painted on the front. “boom boom” made no mistake as he sent it flying over the center field fence to empty the bases.

Sure there were some hiccups along the way—this was a team now that was in the process of “turning over” so there would understandably be some growing pains. “songbird” got picked off as she skittered around first base trying to stretch a single into a double. Both Emilie “big time” belanger and “songbird” once again, got flummoxed during a force play at second, when they tried to tag the runner instead of tossing to second. Heck even “jackhammer” had a couple of wayward throws to “daredevil” at first—but nothing that was going to slow down this juggernaut as the fun bunch were running away with the game. Leading 21-10 heading into the ninth inning the fun bunch offense shut them down once again to start their winning streak anew