DUBIOUS RAIN OUT
Bons Vivants cancel game due to "dangerous playing conditions"
OTTAWA- After playing in the league for 28 seasons, veteran captain steve "field marshal" saunders thought he had seen (and heard) it all. That is until he received a phone call from the captain of the Bons Vivants who told him he was concerned for the safety of his players and wanted to cancel the game. "Well it's not raining, there is no rain on the radar, and there is no lightning in the forecast either so I'm not sure what the problem is", "field marshal" asked quizically when told of the other team's concern. "Well the ground is wet and I don't want any of my players hurting themself", the bons vivants captain further explained as his voice lowered as if to emphasize the severity of the situation. "It hasn't rained all day, and besides we all wear cleats", "field marshal" continued , his blood pressure rising. He was not about to "go gentle into that deep night" after managing to rustle up a full contingent of five guys for the first time this year. He was looking for payback and the hapless Bons Vivants were the perfect target. Like a shark circling its prey, he continued with the full-court press, "look we only get to play a few games a year, so our position has always been to show up and try to play as many innings as possible unless of course lighting is striking the diamond -- in which case we can wait til it stops", "field marshal" explained, slowly so as to be no confusion. "We are prepared to go to the diamond and play, so you'll have to tell me what your team wants to do", "field marshal" stated his final position, somewhat exasperated. "Ok let me talk to my players and call you back", the bons vivants captain replied and hung up. Meanwhile "field marshal" was conjuring up images of the great soggy tournament of 2007 when it rained non-stop all weekend and pools of water filled the infield and outfielders hydroplaned on the wet grass when the dove for a ball. Surely the bons vivants remember playing that year. Yet even under those conditions the tournament proceeded. The phone rang. "Field marshal" picked it up slowly, knowing full well what their answer was going to be. "Sorry, I cannot have my team play in these conditions and therefore we will cancel the game", the bons vivants captain said with some trepidation in his voice. "Now if you'd like to...", but "field marshal" hung up the phone, abruptly cutting him off mid sentence, very discouraged that his team would wrongfully be denied victory tonight.
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