FEISTY FUN BUNCH WIN LOW SCORING AFFAIR
Team scores fewest number of runs this year to scratch out a hard fought victory.
OTTAWA-Playing last season's tournament finalists "bass line station", the Fun Bunch knew they would have their hands full. The game got off to a rocky start when team equipment manager Scott "twist in the wind" Saunders didn't show up for the game and didn't bother sending the bases. That left team co-captain Steve "field marshal" Saunders in the awkward position of asking the other team if they could drive home and get their bases and delay the game by 30 minutes. "Is this guy for real?", the Bass Line Station captain asked incredulously at the request. "Who shows up for a game without the proper equipment? I mean this is just unbelievable and totally bush league. This team should be formally reprimanded", he continued clearly unimpressed. In a desperate attempt to defuse the escalating confrontation, quick-thinking "field marshal" scoured the city of ottawa equipment bin at the diamond and managed to pull out a set of bases from the locked receptacle. "If he wasn't my little brother I don't know what I'd do quite frankly", said the clearly exasperated "field marshal" letting out a long sigh of relief as he hammered in the bases. With that unpleasant side show out of the way, both teams settled in to a stunted offensive showing. With Bass Line Station sputtering on one cylinder, they were ripe for the picking. The fun bunch however, were simply unable to mount any sort of offensive attack of their own due to an inordinate amount of pop-ups, fly-outs, fielder's choices and ridiculously easy double play balls. Heading into the fourth inning the fun bunch were up by a score of 1-0 thanks to some aggressive base running by martin "the gazelle" desjardins who decided to manufacture a run on his own. Keeping the score close was glen "the wrangler" rankin, who came up with a spectacular catch in the first inning. Tracking a quickly sinking line drive, "the wrangler" slid feet first across the outfield to snag the ball and rob bass line station of a sure hit and end their inning. Another thrilling defensive play occurred in the fourth inning. With a runner on first, the Bass Line Station batter hit a line drive to the mid outfield. Rounding second as "the gazelle" picked up the ball , "field marshal" frantically pleaded with his teammate to throw it to third to have a chance at a tag. "The gazelle"--overriding his on-field captain and bordering on insubordination--threw behind the runner to john "hans solo" devries who was playing second base and was caught somewhat off guard. But the move turned out to be brilliant, as the runner had now rounded second and was caught flat footed, hung out to dry in the dead zone between second and third. Salivating at the opportunity to teach the base runner a lesson he wouldn't soon forget, "field marshal" pounced into action and blocked the base bath to third. "hans solo" chased him towards his gleeful teammate as he tossed "field marshal" the ball. Sensing imminent victory, "field marshal" outran his terrified prey and slapped him hard with his wet glove leaving a welt and causing him to stumble and slide across the rough stones of the infield abrading a good part of his nose like chalk on a rough blackboard. He got up slowly and painfully --bleeding , embarrassed and ashamed. "Don't take it so hard kid - most guys your age have to learn that the hard way", "field marshal" pointed out matter-of-factly to the dejected base runner who slunk off the field, his eyes welling up with tears of shame as he winced with each painful step. With Scott "boom boom" Saunders absent again, that forced rusty back-up pitcher Glen "the wrangler" rankin out to the pitching mound whenever "downtown" got up to bat. Making an adventure out of every pitch, "the wrangler" struggled early and often with his control as he threw them in high, low, inside , outside and even behind the back of his teammates, exacerbating his teams struggling offense. " I think we have a new 'wild thing' on the team", harrumphed a clearly not impressed team captain Alison "bulldozer" Hale as she stomped out of the batter's box --the latest victim of "the wrangler's" wayward pitching. Up by only a single run and realizing that runs were going to be few and far between, steve "downtown" saunders strode to the plate with two out in the fourth inning. Throwing caution to the wind, he prayed for a ball within a country mile of home plate from "the wrangler". His patience wearing thin, he watched the first pitch roll over the plate, and dodged the second pitch as it came in behind his back. "Just take a deep breath and throw it in like a beachball", he calmly reassured "the wrangler". As the final pitch came in, "downtown" realized he had only a fighting chance of making contact and so quickly proceeded to take three great strides--not unlike happy gilmore--and to crush the ball into the next diamond for a home run. With an indignant John "hans solo" Devries expressing his displeasure at the solo shot, "downtown" waved him off as he explained that the team needed runs at any cost right now to ensure a win, that point clearly emphasized as the next batter grounded out. In a bizarre play in the following inning Kathy "daredevil" Adare watched in wonderment and awe as martin "the gazelle" desjardins fielded a ground ball in shallow center field and proceeded to flick it into the outstretched mitt of steve "downtown" saunders covering at second. With plenty of time to spare "downtown" regrouped to throw to first for the double play and was shocked to see "daredevil" walking off the field with only two outs. Quickly realizing her gaffe, and with images of doghouses racing through her mind, she sheepishly intoned, " I should have gone to first, right?", as her teammates nodded in unison, mouths collectively agape. Speaking of doghouses, Alison "bulldozer" hale, committed an uncharacteristic base running error when she drilled a solid single and then casually trotted towards first base. Thinking her single was "in the bag", she began ruminating about what to order at whispers after the game, unaware that the newly recruited left fielder from Bass Line Station--who had clearly played competitive ball before--had a different plan. He raced towards the ball, fielded it cleanly and threw a laser-like toss to first about a step and a half ahead of "bulldozer". The sound of the ball smacking damp leather seemed to pull "bulldozer" out of her fog, as she looked up and sighed "uh-oh my bad" as she scurried off the field, head down to avoid her teammates scowls. Determined to atone for their venial offenses, "daredevil" got on board in the seventh inning and hustled around the bases to score a much needed run, while "bulldozer"--in her next at bat --put her head down and charged through first base for a single in a play that would have made "charlie hustle" proud. Honorable mention also goes to Rowena "scoresheet" Sams, who managed to dig deep and get aboard with two outs in three of four innings, extending the team rally and allowing "downtown" to come to the plate and work his magic. Going into the top of the ninth inning, the score was 9 - 5 for the fun bunch, after both alison "bulldozer" hale and patti "gazoo" anderson each scored a run in the eighth. With only a four run cushion, the fun bunch would need to play tight defense to close the game out. Bass Line Station managed two singles intermixed with two outs to leave runners at first and second and their "major league" batter coming to the plate. He had previously crushed a solo shot over left field for a home run and was licking his chops eagerly at the thought of a three run dinger. Surveying the outfield he chose a huge gap between center and left field and placed a deep, towering fly ball precisely to that location. Sensing the urgency of the situation, "the gazelle" sprung into action and began gobbling up real estate, well, like a gazelle. Moving so fast as to appear blurred, "the gazelle" enacted one final surge of speed and caught the ball like in the tip of his glove--like an ice cream cone to end the inning and the game.
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