FUN BUNCH GET BACK TO .500
Team ekes out a win in the ninth inning with clutch hitting
OTTAWA-With the Sens fighting for their playoff lives against Pittsburgh, the Fun Bunch were stuck on diamond #1 at Hampton Park fighting for their dignity against the perennial league champion Athletics. Coming into the game with an abysmal .333 winning percentage, Steve "field marshal" Saunders was on the war path. After last week's debacle, whereby only three guys showed up to the game, "field marshal" held no punches when he called out the culprits and demanded committment from the players. Sheepishly, and with great trepidation, Scott "boom boom" Saunders, John "Hans Solo" Devries, Paolo "slip'n slide" Daros and Martin "the gazelle" Desjardins quietly slunk into the dugout--their heads held low--to face the music. Seizing the opportunity to set an example, "Field marshal" wasted little time as he "layed into" the quartet, and proceeded to tear a strip off each and every one--seemingly for an eternity. With his booming voice rising over the din of the queensway traffic, the Athletics were privy to the belligerent affair. "Glad I'm not one of those guys" said a visibly shake Colin Bromfield, captain of the Athletics and convener of the league. Practically hoarse from his tirade, "field marshal" finished up with a "now get out there and play the game of your life" for good measure and the night game got underway. It was a close, low-scoring, back-and-forth affair with the lead changing hands numerous times. The Fun Bunch had some stellar defensive plays: "boom boom" picked up a deep hit to the outfield and threw a one bounce rocket to home play that was snagged by Rowena "scoresheet" Sams for an out. Kathie "daredevil" Adare made two great catches at first relayed from steve "downtown" saunders at short, and then made an impossible backpedalling catch--glove outstretched to end the inning. Nancy "knock 'em out of the park" Harris snagged two hard liners at the hot corner to keep the Athletics from getting extra bases. Also impressive was Bill "twinkle toes" Ranson, as he "climbed the ladder" to snag a high throw to second base and managed to nick the bag with his outstretched toe for a much needed out. Offense was more of a mixed bag--there were some great innings mixed in with several "three up three down" feeble efforts. "Downtown" once again lead the way with two multi-run monster home runs that disappeared into the night sky as they left the stratosphere to start his 4-for-4 performance. Robbing "downtown" of the chance to hit all three homers for the team, "slip'n slide" belted one out of the park and then immediately realized his faux pas. Casting a nervous glance at "downtown" and preparing himself for the repercussion, he was visibly relieved when "downtown" high-fived him and said "nice hit". Nancy "hit 'em out of the park" Harris scored three runs to lead the way for the women, with Rowena "scoresheet" Sams scoring two. Patty "gazoo" Anderson proved she is a fast learner when she used her speed to race right through first base--at the behest of "field marshal" to leg out a couple of hits. Martin "the gazelle" Desjardins, put on a base running clinic as he turned a single into an in-the-park home run with his dazzling speed. Glen "the wrangler" Rankin took a turn for the worst as he screamed in agony as the bat made contact with the ball each time he got a hit--clearly aggravating his shoulder injury. Heading into the top of the ninth inning with the scored tied, the Fun Bunch knew this game was a "must win". Leadoff batter martin "the gazelle" desjardins hit a solid single, but turned on the afterburners as he charged into second, determined to start the team off with a double. With the ball coming in hard to second, it was going to be a close play. The Athletics second baseman--who had juggled the ball all game and been charged with a bevy of errors--tried to apply a late tag and fell on top of "the gazelle" causing him to wince in pain as he rather unsportingly giggled "you're out" --despite the safe call from the umpire. With "field marshal" charging from the pitching mound to the defense of his fallen comrade, the atmosphere of the game intensified. "You interfered with the base runner and then sat on him", "field marshal" pointed out to the squat doppelganger for John Lithgow. "I tagged him and he's out", he retorted vehemently, spittle flying from his quivering jowls. In a stalemate, the courteous Athletics short stopped intervened. "The umpire called him out so he's out, it's just a game", he replied matter-of-factly, causing the second baseman to realize the absurdity of his actions. The Fun Bunch followed up that leadoff double with clutch hit-after-hit to score four runs, until the inning was unfortunately ended on a perfect double play ball. Up four runs, and realizing the Athletics would be out for blood after the play at second base, the Fun Bunch entered the bottom of the ninth prepared for a battle. Their leadoff batter got a double and headed to third on a throwing error to score on the next play--the lead cut to three runs. After two great catches in the outfield to leave the Fun Bunch one out away from a victory--the best was yet to come. The next Athletics batter made contact and started charging around the base path leaving "the gazelle" to spring into action. With the admonishment from "field marshal" still ringing in his ears, Martin charged the bloop hit into shallow centrefield. After heavy rainfall only hours before, the outfield was a saturated quagmire. Discarding any thoughts of his own personal safety, "the gazelle" lunged head first, caught the ball inches above the ground before hydroplaning through the marshy grass, sending up a spray of water in all directions. Coming to a stop thirty feet from where he caught the ball and wringing wet, he held his glove up--ball firmly entrapped--and intoned "game over", water all-the-while gushing from his mouth--before removing a wayward goldfish from his cheek.
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