OTTAWA – Up against their toughest challenge to date, the fun bunch faced their arch-nemesis the Aquabats on Thursday at Bell diamond. Not able to match the fun bunch for sheer power of course, the Aquabats try instead to spray the ball into gaps in the field for singles. Adding of course to the “friendly” rivalry is the—now ancient--defection of one-time Aquabat Kathie “dare-devil” Adare.

Playing in the late-late game starting at 9:30 pm, the team started grumbling in the dug-out soon after arrival. “This is past my bedtime”, bemoaned plucky third base woman leah “roadrunner” morrell between yawns. The rest of the team kvetched in agreement.

Making her season debut was Meghan “marathon” Saunders. With her upcoming marathon on the weekend, her overprotective father, scott “boom-boom” saunders, didn’t want her to participate in the game. “She’s been training a long time for this. What if she gets hit with the ball or rolls her ankle?”, he expressed with fatherly concern. “I’m not a snowflake for god’s sake”, “marathon” shot back – determined to prove her mettle to the team. “And by the way, if you don’t want me to get hurt it would help if you bought me a pair of cleats and a decent baseball glove”, she added for good measure – smiling smugly at her new found contempt.

The first inning was an offensive let down. Only jess “bulls-eye” belanger got on board before steve “field marshal” saunders brought her in to score. Three quick outs and the inning was over -– stranding “field marshal” at third. Defensively things were very positive. While the Aquabats threatened with three consecutive hits, a terrific running catch by “boom-boom” on a deep fly and a timely double play got them out of the inning without any aquabat runners scoring.

Still refusing to wear cleats, “boom-boom” still managed to put on a tour-de-fource both in the outfield and at the plate. On a pitch dark night, with the field lit up by retina-searing arc lights, it was a challenge to say the least to track balls in the outfield. Yet “boom-boom” did that with aplomb. Galloping around the outfield in his slick soled runners, he somehow managed to track down everything hit his way and reel it in with outstretched limbs. But he wasn’t done there. Not by a long shot. With the Aquabats falling further behind every inning, desperation overtook them and they turned to a new chapter in their playbook – aggressive base running. Doing their best to stretch singles into doubles, force throws at third and sneak home surreptitiously, “boom-boom” decided he had seen enough. He made two highlight reel plays from the outfield that put an abrupt end to the Aquabat shenanigans.

With seemingly a good shot at a double, an aquabat baserunner rounded first and shifted into high gear to try and stretch out the long single as “boom-boom” fielded the hit on one hop neatly. Catching the baserunner heading to second out of his peripheral vision --like a sharp-shinned hawk—he smiled wryly and uncorked a bullet to glen “the wrangler” rankin at second base. With the baserunner coasting into second, “the wrangler” slapped him hard with the tag and watched his face sag like a wax crayon that’s come too close to a flame.

Not content to rest on his laurels, “boom-boom” once again made a spectacular play later in the game. With an Aquabat baserunner on third, the next batter hit a deep fly ball to right field. The player on third hunkered down like a cheetah ready to pounce on the tag-up. “Boom-boom” caught the ball—his umpteenth catch of the night—and with nary a sideways glance unleashed his best throw of the night—nay his career. Perfectly on track, it sailed through the pitch black night sky like a cruise missile locked on to home plate. It was going to be close, but “the roadrunner” stood her ground. Foot firmly planted, she outstretched her glove and arm and prepared for the pain that was sure to come as the Aquabat bore down.

“You’re out” , the umpire roared as “the roadrunner” clutched the ball through gritted teeth and searing pain, tears welling up in her eyes. Beaten by a step-and-a-half, the baserunner stood there perplexed, bewildered and slack-jawed still trying to comprehend what had just unfolded as if in a trance as the rest of his team slunk their heads and trudged back out onto the field—their nascent rally quashed mercilessly by “boom-boom”. Taking note of what had just transpired the Aquabats would adjust their aggressive base running “playbook” for the remainder of the game.

After a slow start the fun bunch put together three strong offensive innings with the father-and-daughter team of “boom-boom” and “marathon” leading the way. Playing in her first professional ball game, “marathon” had three hits in her first three at bats, including an “oh-so-close” play at first that would have been an out for any other base runner. Noticing her other-worldly acceleration, the “Aquabats” could be heard murmuring “watch that one she’s fast” in her subsequent at bats. Proud dad “boom-boom” followed up his defensive heroics with two towering home runs leading to four runs and five runs in consecutive innings.

Hobbled by a painful torn achilles tendon, “field marshal” –unable to run and barely able to walk—was assigned (against his will) a courtesy runner from the plate. However, on each of his monstrous hits, he attempted to dart out of the batters box and race the runner to first, wincing in agony on each painful step despite his team pleading for him to stop. Finally, “the roadrunner” had seen enough. As umpire, she stood behind him for his next at bat and promptly tackled him to the ground as he crushed the next pitch to the fence. Caught off guard, he went down easily, like a sack of hammers, as Adrian “sweetspot” Seaman scampered to third on his triple. Taking it all in good-natured stride, he chuckled as she helped him to his feet and scolded him like a schoolmarm.

After building up a 13-5 lead the fun bunch bats suddenly went quiet as they went scoreless in three of the last four innings. Thankfully, the fun bunch defense formed a bulwark against the precision Aquabat hitting. Outfielders Ryan “man-o-war” Matishuk, “sweetspot” and “boom-boom” battled the lights all night long including some towering fly balls by a new gigantic Aquabat player.

One of his fly balls went straight up almost disappearing from site. As “man-o-war” tracked it he shouted “I got it” to his teammates as he sidled up to it. But as the ball continued to climb, he began to wonder if it was going to come down, now just a pin prick in the sky. After what seemed like an eternity, Newtonian physics finally kicked in and the ball started getting bigger as it accelerated downwards. “man-o-war” now stated swaying back and forth as the ball darted about on its inevitable descent. With a final “uh-oh” he made a stabbing motion at the projectile but missed as it dropped into the grass. Unimpressed “field marshal” stood glaring at “man-o-war” from the infield, arms akimbo. “you should have had that one” , he chastised “man-o-war”, an unfair taunt that would come back to nearly haunt him as two innings later he would face a similar challenge.

With the gargantuan Aquabat player back at the plate, he hit the first pitch once again straight -up, only this time directly in “field marshal’s” direction. Up-up-up it ascended with shocking velocity, as “field marshal” gulped hard before realizing he would have to take charge. With a less than convincing “I got it”, he too sidled up to the still ascending ball and attempted to track it’s motion. “wow this is a lot more difficult than I thought”, he mused as the ball began it’s long spectacular descent. He attempted to follow it’s trajectory but his failing eyesight led to the ball coming and going out of focus. He began to get dizzy. He stutter-stepped to keep pace with the seemingly wobbly motion of the ball. He felt “man-o-war’s” contemptuous gaze drilling into the back of his head. He knew secretly “man-o-war” was hoping for him to drop the ball, giddy with the prospect of failure. Realizing his reputation was at stake he licked his dry lips, squinted his eyes, and held out his mitt as his feet skittered when he crossed the demarcation between outfield and infield. The ball mercifully landed with a “plop” in his glove and he squeezed tight with all his might to hold on for the out. “man-o-war” cursed audibly from the outfield. While not admitting it , he held a new found appreciation for the job of the outfielders.

“Bulls-eye” belanger had a great defensive inning too to keep the Aquabats off the score sheet making all three plays at third base in the eighth inning to keep the game close including a tag , a caught pop-up and a force out. The tag came courtesy of a remarkable play by “the wrangler”, who tracked down a single into the outfield and made a blind spin-and-throw motion to third to catch the baserunner completely off guard.

With the game 16-10 for the fun bunch, they entered to “endless” ninth inning. With their unbeaten streak on the line , “the wrangler” took charge and made a diving catch through the abrasive infield heedless of his own well being for the final out to secure the win and strand a couple of baserunners. Emerging triumphant from a great plume of dust and sand he raised his glove to display the ball still firmly clutched in the leather pocket. With both shins gushing a torrent of blood he tip-toed around the giant dung beetles that had invaded the diamond. Fun bunch extend their winning streak to 3-0.