FUN BUNCH LOSE
Dearth of players costs team dearly
OTTAWA- It was a cool evening. The wind howled in the trees and made the air temperature seem even colder. Players arrived decked out in sweatshirts and blew into their hands for warmth. Steve "field marshal" Saunders stood impassively, surveying the battlefield, preparing himself mentally for the onslaught that was about to ensue. He had played in this league long enough to know when the odds were insurmountable, even for him. As his gaze swept the dugout he made a quick mental note-- no "boom boom" (kicking back to watch the big game"), no "slip-n-slide" (bailed out last minute - feeling tired), no "wild thing" (stuck in nightshift "hell" as punishment for some transgression he never committed), no "wrangler" (working late to balance the books), and surprise, surprise no "pound-em-back"--who in his inaugural season with the fun bunch has failed to make an appearance) With a full roster of eager women staring at him with excited expressions, anxiously awaiting their marching orders, "field marshal" knew he must give them hope even though there was none to give. He cast an admiring glance at John "hans solo" devries -- a tireless workhorse who still battling back from the ravages of throat cancer stood a shadow of his former self. The two oldest men on the team, both with a litany of maladies but both battle-hardened veterans, knew they were heading into the meat grinder. With the Aquabats barely able to contain their excitement at the thought of being able to extract painful revenge for their loss at the hands of the funbunch two weeks ago, they hastened the game to get underway. Having no choice, "field marshal" quickly press-ganged rowena "score-sheet" sam's sixteen year old son corey and leah "free play" morrel's large friend nigel into service for the team--neither having played softball before although nigel had played t-ball when he was four. With kathy "dare-devel" adare also kicking back to attend a hootenanny, that left neophyte "fair play" as the team's newly-minted first baseman in a baptism by fire. With a deep breath, "field marshal" assigned positions and trotted out to the infield as he inspected his new-look team. "this is going to be painful" he thought to himself with his usual candid introspection. The aquabats got the party rolling with a tidy five run first inning as they hastily dug out several more blank game sheets to record all the runs that were sure to follow. Trudging off the field with their heads slumped, "field marshal" knew his team was badly in need of some leadership and hope. "Look team, let's just stick to our game plan--solid singles, run out every ball and try to force errors", "field marshal" spoke encouragingly. Following his orders, the team quickly posted a few base runners at which point "field marshal" came to the plate. With "hans solo" making his debut as back-up pitcher, "field marshal" offered some brief encouragement and then instructed him to "throw it in like a beach ball" before he proceeded to pummel the stuffing out of it. As the ball sailed high over the center field fence, like a rocket breaking free of the earth's atmosphere, the celebratory mood in the aquabat dugout dampened somewhat. Clearly this wasn't going to be the cakewalk they had anticipated. Gradually, however, the aquabats pulled away with a run here and there despite the excellent fielding of the fun bunch. "field marshal" added another run in the fourth inning--a solo shot--as he accidentally put one over the fence in an attempt to hit a double down first base line. The score now stood at 9-4--impressively close considering the sheer number of missing players--but with hopes of a victory fading nonetheless. Then, all of a sudden, glen "the wrangler" rankin pulled into the parking lot unexpectedly and quickly ran to the dugout, his general ledger tucked firmly under one arm, his calculator in the other. Giving the team a glimmer of hope, he ran into the outfield as "field marshal" quickly shifted the team to accommodate the belated fielder. "scoresheet" to catcher, corey to third, "the wrangler" to left field and patti "gazoo" anderson to left rover. With his haphazard team beginning to take shape, "field marshal" watched as they began to pound out hits and make great fielding plays: alison "bulldozer" hale with a catch in right field, "the wrangler" with an out in centerfield, nancy "hit em out of the park" harris with a catch at second. Patti "gazoo" anderson had a spectacular night at the plate getting on base almost every at bat, "fair play" outran several infield hits to keep more than one rally alive, "bulldozer", "scoresheet" and "hit 'em out of the park" all had clutch hits to keep the faint glimmer of hope alive. The game got exciting with a rare miscue by the aquabats in the sixth inning as two base runners converged on second base forcing a rarely occurring run down involving "scoresheet", "field marshal" and "knock 'em out of the park", with "field marshal" applying the final tag hard enough to leave a welt on the dejected aquabat base runner. With two home runs already to his credit, "downtown" parked his third of the night over the center field fence for a two run shot keeping the fun bunch within striking distance. In the bottom of the ninth inning, the funbunch made it interesting as both corey and nigel got their first hits of the game and both came in to score runs to bring the total to 13-9 before the rally was extinguished ending the fun bunch's brief two game winning streak despite a valiant effort by those who showed up.
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