FUN BUNCH LOSE WITH PRIDE AND DIGNITY
win-at-any-cost bass line station pull out all the stops to ensure they beat the plucky fun bunch
OTTAWA-It was apparent during the warm-up that Bass Line Station was up to their usual bag of tournament dirty tricks. The team that the fun bunch beat handily only a week before was scarcely recognizable. In their place was an elite squad of youthful hard-core triple-A ball players--their mission: total annihilation of the fun-loving, middle-aged, and exhausted fun bunch. As if to drive home the point, they scored five runs in the first inning, including three home runs, that were dispatched with nary a modicum of effort--these guys were just getting warmed up. The fun bunch looked dejected as they shambled in from the outfield, heads down, joints aching. "Listen hear team. This isn't a fair fight and they know it. But we are going to do what we have always done. That is dig in, pull ourselves up and throw everything we've got at 'em", captain steve "field marshal" saunders barked at his troops. As if a great weight had suddenly been lifted off their stooped shoulders, the team perked up dramatically as they picked up the pace and trotted into the dugout, chest bumping and high fiving as they went. As has been the case all season long, the team responded to the challenge as they also scored five runs without using up a single home run. Suddenly the "shock and awe" campaign of bass line station in the first inning wasn't looking like such a smart move now, as they had exhausted their home runs and had failed to "shock and awe" the resolute fun bunch. Quickly they switched to "plan B" --intimidation. The first batter, hit a deep single and decided to stretch it into a double. As the ball came sailing in to "field marshal" at short stop, kathie "daredevil" adare took up her position at second base. As "field marshal" quickly threw the ball to his partner he reminded her that "you have to tag him - this is not a force play - swing your glove". As the base runner bore down, it was clear that a collision was imminent. Standing her ground "daredevil" turned quickly and slapped her glove smartly into his groin. With a startled yelp, he dropped his shoulder and sent "daredevil" careening into the outfield. Despite the forceful impact, however, "daredevil" did not release her grip on the ball and the runner was called out. Winded and dazed she lay momentarily on the ground unable to throw the ball to her partner. Sensing an opportunity to take an advantage of the situation, the base runner on third snuck home to score a run. "why wasn't time called? our player was injured by the bush league play at second. The run shouldn't score and that jackass should be kicked out of the game!" , hollered richard "wild thing" bujold from the outfield, the remnants of last night's pizza visible on his jersey. "I called him out. The run scores", yawned the clearly uninterested umpire as he check his watch to see how much time before the game ended. Just when you thought you had seen it all, bass line station dug into their bag of dirty tricks for their coupe-de-grace. "field marshal's" keen eye had been monitoring a bizarre play developing. The tall gawky player on their team had been pinch running for a rather tubby player all game long, yet he had not come to bat. "field marshal" remembered this particular player as he had struck out every time he came to bat in their previous game -- it seems that he had been "grounded" so as to better advance their chances of winning--relegated to pinch running only-- a definite league no-no. "Hey ump. Sorry if I'm keeping you awake or anything, but that player right there has been pinch running the whole game and is not in the batting lineup. That is not allowed. I mean what exactly are we paying you for anyway?", "field marshal" hissed, purulent sarcasm exuding from his wrinkled lips. The clearly confounded umpire scratched his head and looked nonplussed. After thinking about it for what seemed an eternity he informed bass line station that the "geeky looking player has to bat". Down 17-6 at this point, the fun bunch did their best to rally. "downtown" hit a three run shot in the fourth inning , and the team scored four more runs in the fifth. But the excuse-for-an-umpire called the game at the end of the fifth with the score 19-13 denying the fun bunch their last two innings and a chance at a comeback.
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