FUNBUNCH WIN CONVINCINGLY
Team puts on an offensive onslaught only to be matched by their air-tight defense
OTTAWA - What a way to start the tournament as the fun bunch downed stop hitting on us 20-10. Especially impressive was the hitting of the fun bunch women who hit clutch hit after clutch hit all game long to get on base, drive in runs and keep rallies alive. Leading the pack was Nancy "triple threat" Harris who was promoted to lead-off hitter when Taylor "I'll be there" Albert failed to show up. "Triple threat" rose to the occasion as she went 4-for-five and hit the ball hard all game long. "Honestly it was a text-book game", said Glen "the wrangler" Rankin in astonishment at the play of his teammates. "I don't think we had an error all game". Unlike stop hitting on us, who despite loading their team up for the tournament had abysmal pitching and many errors at first, third, and just about everywhere. Before the game, steve "field marshal" saunders filed his 99-point game plan of "must-do" advice and the team followed it to a tee including running aggressively to second, running through first base, and not wasting solo home runs. The only fly in the ointment occurred when Taylor "party-hearty" Albert was out the night before "getting prepared" for the tournament til 3:15 am, only to sleep through her alarm clock and miss the first game. "field marshal" was not impressed when she showed up--a little woozy--in the last inning. "Let me guess, you went to the wrong diamond?", he said sarcastically. "No sir, I was being insubordinate, but I promise it won't happen again sir!", she replied standing ramrod straight and looking him firmly in the eye. Field marshal was impressed with her attitude and let her off with just a reprimand and 100 push ups. The fun bunch scored 4 in the first inning to set the tone and then two back-to-back five run innings in the third and fourth capped by a three run shot by steve "downtown" saunders but it was a full team effort as everyone got a hit in those two innings. There was a light-hearted moment when scott "boom boom" saunders, did his best impression of richard "wild thing" bujold when a hard grounder hit to him at short careened off both ankles and then his nose, resembling a pinball in an arcade game, but he soon settled it down on the fourth or fifth bounce to throw out the runner as everyone had a chuckle at his shenanigans. Next up -- the Athletics (known to stack their team) at 11 am. "The competition only gets tougher from here on in", said "wild thing" still trying to figure out how "boom boom" made the pinball play.
Athletics vs Fun Bunch 11:30 Carlington
FUN BUNCH LOSE BY ONE RUN
Team drops heartbreaker with tying run on third base
OTTAWA- The magic from the first game had all but worn off by the time the second game got underway. The clutch hitting the team displayed in the first game evaporated as the fun bunch managed to score only two runs by the top of the fourth inning and fall behind 6-2. But the team rallied in the fourth and scored five runs, including a three run shot by Andrew "gazelle" Campbell --his second of the game and accounting for five of the teams seven runs. But pop-ups and three-up-three-down innings were the order of the day, as they simply could not get a sustained rally going after that inning. Further compounding the problem was the plethora of errors committed by the defense: balls thrown into the dugout, dropped balls at first, missed grounders, mis-judged flyballs--you name it. "It was a very uncharacteristic game for us that is for sure", remarked richard "wild thing" bujold as he puzzled over the teams misfortunes. "Clearly we were a bit nervous--this is a game we should have won handily". With the score 12-9 heading into the bottom of the last inning, once again steve "downtown" saunders, was stuck leading off the inning. "Look, unlike some other players on the team--I refuse to hit a lead-off home run unless it is to tie or win the game", he stated matter-of-factly. And with that he drilled the first pitch deep into the corner and flew around the bases like a stampeding wildebeest to get a leadoff triple. He easily came in to score on the next play as the athletics short stop foolishly tried to pick him off third on a tag play as "downtown.", stutter-stepped towards the commit line to give his base runner some breathing room. The ball was ultimately thrown away at first and "downtown", sauntered home. The fun bunch were now down by only one run. After the next two runners went out, Alison "bulldozer" hale game to bat and got on board. The next batter was Scott "boom boom" Saunders, and the team was one pitch away from tying the game. "Boom Boom" hit it off the outfield fence to score "bulldozer", but himself was stuck at third. So with two out and the tying run at third, the fun bunch were unable to cash in the tying run as the next batter was out at first to even their record to 1-1. There were some outstanding plays in the game. Richard "wild thing" Bujold, relegated to the bottom of the batting order, kept a stiff upper lip and got two clutch doubles in his two at bats to continue his stellar hitting going 6-for-6 so far in the tournament. Mark "polygon" Pintar picked up a ball in right field and threw it hard in to steve "field marshal" saunders. Realizing the Athletics base runner was greedily charging for home, he threw a strike to home plate, momentarily lifting rowena "scoresheet" sams off her feet for the force out at home. Nancy "triple threat" Harris, the team's newly-minted third baseman, showed she had a couple of tricks up here sleeve when she snagged a hard line drive at the hot corner for an out. But the best play of the game was a text book run down by "boom boom", "daredevil" and "field marshal". With a hit to the outfield , the Athletics runner decided to charge hard for second. But the ball came in quickly to "boom boom" who caught her hung out to dry between bases. As he chased her back to first, he realized he couldn't catch her, so he tossed the ball to "daredevil", who resumed the relay back to second. But this was no ordinary base runner, she was fast and slick and wasn't going to go down without a fight. This is where "field marshal" decided to join the fray as he charged hard from short to cover second. "Daredevil" relayed the ball to "field marshal", who's eyes lit up like a cat in a room full of yarn. This was not going to end well for the Athletics. He seized the ball and accelerated towards the base runner. She jammed on the breaks and for a brief second looked horrified as she realized what was about to happen. She started charging hard back to first but could hear "field marshal's" cleats digging up with base path like a jack hammer. She then heard his raspy breathing as he continued gaining on her. Helpless, she tried to make it back to first as she began to regret her hasty decision. "Field marshal" caught her and you could hear the loud slap of his leather glove as he delivered his tag squarely between her shoulder blades. All the air was immediately expelled from her lungs and she fell in the dirt. As she fell she abraded both knees, her wrist and the tip of her nose, like chalk on a rough blackboard. She got up, dirty, bleeding, and ashamed and trudged back to the dugout, afraid to look her teammates in the eyes.
Dog's Bollocks vs Fun Bunch 2:00 Hampton
FUN BUNCH WIN AGAIN
triple play, three home runs overpower dog's bollocks
OTTAWA - The fun bunch improved their record to 2-1 in the tournament by beating the dog's bollocks 13-8. Aiding their cause was a rare triple play turned in the 1st inning by steve "field marshal" saunders. With runners on first and second, "field marshal" quickly sized up the situation and moved in to straddle the base line. "just hit me a hard grounder and I'll do the rest", he thought to himself as he got into his defensive posture. His prayers were quickly answered as the first pitch was hit directly to him. The play then unfolded as if in slow motion. Taking a knee, "field marshal" blocked the ball with his chest resembling a page out of a how-to-play-baseball textbook. Trapping the ball he charged the runner heading to third and tagged her smartly on the thigh, taking her legs out from under her and causing her to careen into the dirt--one down. Without even pausing for a breath, he continued charging hard to second, where his little brother scott "boom boom" saunders stood eagerly awaiting the force play toss, that was not going to be forthcoming. "I got this", "field marshal" screamed as his eyes narrowed to slits and he planted his foot heavily on the bag--two out. "boom boom" stood down immediately and backed out of the way, fortunate to have a perfect vantage point to watch the rarest of baseball plays unfold with awe. With impeccable timing, "field marshal" then pivoted and threw an absolute laser beam to first base, beating the hapless base runner who had barely cleared the batter's box and causing a plume of dust to kick up from kathie "daredevil" adare's glove as she winced in pain from the sheer velocity of the throw--three out. At the completion of the play, his teammates, the other team, the fans in the stands, the kids playing basketball, the teams in the far diamonds, an older gentleman walking his golden retriever, and two toddlers in the playground all broke into a spontaneous roar. With typical humility, "field marshal" acknowledged the crowd by tipping his cap as he charged off the field eager to now help his team offensively. In the second inning one of the dog's bollocks players hit a hard liner to center field that came down and hit the high part of the fence hard. The base runner was charging hard around the diamond, looking for a triple or perhaps an in-the-park home run, but the ball lodged firmly between the post and the fence. Both Andrew "gazelle" Campbell and Mark "polygon" Pintar struggled for what seemed like an eternity to remove the ball, but it was richard "wild thing" bujold who came to the team's rescue when he shimmied up the fence like a spider and dangling by one arm popped the ball loose with his mighty bicep. The umpire ruled the odd play a "ground rule double" causing the disgruntled base runner to head back to second where he failed to score that inning. In another fortuitous play, the dog's bollocks had two base runners aboard first and second, when the next batter hit a deep ball to left field. Glen "the wrangler" Rankin took off immediately to charge the ball that dropped in the gap and rolled all the way to the fence. The runner on first base was now in full flight and the third base coach was wind-milling their arm frantically waving them home. Realizing what was happening, "field marshal" charged out into the field to cut off the throw that was perfectly on line from "the wrangler". In one smooth motion, "field marshal" grabbed the ball turned and threw to home plate without nary a glance at the base runner--time was of the essence after all. Standing--like a pit bull--at home plate was Alison "bulldozer" Hale. She saw the ball coming in hot--but did not falter. Instead she braced herself by squatting down and shifting her weight forward. She said a quick hail mary, and prepared herself mentally for what she knew would be the searing pain to come--like a white hot poker. Then she opened her glove and did her best to track the incoming projectile. The ball was perfectly thrown and hit her squarely in the center of her glove. She winced and let out a small yelp, but squeezed her glove to trap the ball just as the base runner was about to land on home plate. "Yer out", screamed the home plate umpire, ending the inning on a magnificent three-way relay. While still struggling a little with consecutive hits, the fun bunch did manage to hammer all three of their home runs over the fence for the first time in the tournament. First scott "boom boom" saunders crunched a moon shot with two runner aboard for three runs. In the sixth inning with only one runner aboard Andrew "the gazelle" campbell came to bat. With the score close and looking for some breathing room, "field marshal" gave "the gazelle" the "thumbs up" sign allowing him to park the first pitch for a two run shot. Still in the sixth inning, with "bulldozer" on first base, "field marshal" strode to the plate. With only one inning to go, and some further insurance required he made an executive decision to use up the last home run--despite their being only one runner aboard. He then proceeded to direct the pitcher--"boom boom"--on how proceed. "Ok boom boom, remember last at bat where you jammed me inside and I hit it off the handle for a ground rule double? This time I want it over the fat part of the plate. I'm going to be patient because this is important, so take your time and do it right. Oh yeah -- and throw it in like a beach ball". "boom boom" nodded his head as he acknowledged the game plan. True to form, the first pitch was a juicy 'tater that floated in like a butterfly. "field marshal" licked his chops as he dug in. He smashed up on the ball like tiger woods in a long drive competition. It was gone before he even made contact. That made the score 13-8 to end the sixth inning. With only one inning to go, the unthinkable happened. "field marshal" addressed his teammates in the dugout. "Team, I have to leave. All you have to do is shut them down in the top of the seventh and the game is over". His teammates were crestfallen. A pall settled over the dugout. Without his firm hand on the tiller, steadying the ship through the rough waters of the seventh inning, how could they possible stay off the shoals? "Look team, you are the fun bunch. I know you can do this. So everyone dig in and win this inning for me", he calmly advised. Those words seemed to immediately soothe his teammates frayed nerves as they trotted out onto the diamond eager to preserve the win for their leader, mentor and father figure. Nervously playing short for the first time this tournament was "the wrangler" aware of the immense shoes he was being asked to fill. But like a true warrior, he fielded the first ground ball for an out. Next "polygon" snagged a fly ball for the second out. The third out was a pop fly to taylor "the terror" albert who snapped her glove shut for the third out as she jumped up and shouted "this one's for you 'field mashal' !" as the fun bunch polished off the dog's bollocks in order.
--------------------------------------------