FUN BUNCH WIN WITH CLASS
Team storms back to win in bottom of the ninth as animosity builds with Stop Hitting on Us
OTTAWA - Just when things looked like they were going to hit rock bottom, the Fun Bunch showed everyone why they are the defending league champions when the dug deep to beat Stop Hitting on Us 18-17 in the bottom of the ninth inning to end their three game losing skid. It was a testy affair as the once affable Stop Hitting on Us fielded some new, edgier players who seemed determined to "win at any cost". Once again, the Fun Bunch started behind the eight ball as they spotted their opponents a needless 7 run lead in the first inning and a half. Sensing the team slip into their all-too-familiar pattern of despair, Steve "field marshal" Saunders decided to take matters into his own hands and throw down the gauntlet to his teammates. Leading off in the bottom of the second--after a three up three down first--"field marshal" surveyed the outfield and eyed a big gap in the opposite field. Trying his darndest to keep the ball in the park with the bases empty, he instructed his little brother Scott "boom-hawk" Saunders to "throw one outside". With a deft flick of his wrist, and gentle half-swing, he pulverized the ball and sent it sailing over the fence--precisely where he was aiming - but about a mile too far. Unable to run due to a "level 3" groin tear, he instructed Paolo "slip-n-slide" Daros to leg out the homer. Unapologetic for the wasted homer, he challenged his teammates to follow suit and as usual they did. Although they scored five runs to bring the game within two, it was an expensive inning as Paolo "slip-n-slide" Daros earned a one-way ticket to the doghouse, when he needlessly belted a solo shot (after popping up the inning before). "Let's get this straight 'slip-n-slide'. The only solo shots that get hit on this team are be by me, and only when I deem it critical to the outcome of the game. For you, the game plan is the same as alway--no one on base--keep it down and get to second.", "field marshal" berated "slip-n-slide" in no uncertain terms. There was plenty of excitement elsewhere on the field as well with team captain Alison "bulldozer" Hale leading the charge as usual. "bulldozer" was playing catcher after a miscue in the first inning when "downtown" took a hard grounder at short and proceeded to "gun down" the base runner who was heading home. With Patti "gazoo" Anderson playing catcher at this point, she got in position to make the out. With a rather late change of heart, however, "gazoo" screamed uncontrollably as the ball headed towards her mitt and ran for cover allowing the runner to score easily as Stop Hitting on Us collectively doubled over in laughter. It was at that point, that captain "bulldozer" Hale decided that perhaps catcher wasn't necessarily the best position for "gazoo" and moved her back to her more comfortable rover position--but more on that later. Meanwhile, with "bulldozer" at home plate and a runner on third, the next Stop Hitting on Us batter hit a slow roller back to the pitcher. "bulldozer" instinctively ran for the ball and looked to make the easy out at first. At the same time, however, the runner on third decided to take liberty and head for home. Bad idea. "bulldozer" caught the sneaky runner in her peripheral vision and decided that this was a challenge she simply couldn't back down from. Changing direction like a reflected laser beam, she sprinted instead for home plate and beat the base runner by an eyelash for a key out--preventing a huge run in the process. Rachelle "the rocket" Dalpe, had a strong game at the plate, crunching some deep hits and scoring a couple of runs. Some confusion about base running rules and a smidgeon of trepidation lead to a couple of unnecessary outs as she works to become more proficient on the base path with the guidance of her teammates. With the game tied 7-7 in the bottom of the fifth inning the Fun Bunch rallied to score four runs with no outs and two runners on base. Needing only a single to score the fifth run from third, Glen "the wrangler" Rankin came to bat and proceeded to squeeze into the doghouse with "slip-n-slide" when he tagged a pitch for a one-base home run. It was at this point that Stop Hitting on Us challenged the Fun Bunch and demanded that the runners go back to their bases, and for the homer to count as an out. "That's your fourth home run", they asserted--basic math obviously not their strong suit. "That was only our third homer", "field marshal" loudly confirmed--thinking that would end the matter. Becoming indignant, however, the Stop Hitting on Us bench rallied to the defense of their "addition challenged" scorekeeper to insist that the Fun Bunch had indeed hit four home runs--with the fourth counting as an out. Rolling his eyes heavenward, "field marshal" remained calm and politely re-confirmed that his team had only hit three homers--"downtown's", "slip-n-slide's" and now "the wrangler's". Stop Hitting on Us--now seething with anger--insinuated that the Fun Bunch were cheats when the shortstop-cum-ringleader yelled "whatever". "No - not whatever. we hit three homeruns only. our team doesn't cheat", "field marshal" stood his ground and stated matter-of-factly staring cooly into the opposition's dugout. Sensing an impending brouhaha, "the wrangler" prepared for the donnybrook with a few choice retorts of his own. Common sense prevailed on the Stop Hitting on Us bench, however, as more rational teammates managed to get their rogue short-stop under control and the game proceeded. In a bizarre play, a Stop Hitting on Us woman hit an easy liner up the middle. Charging hard to make the catch, Scott "hawk-boom" Saunders was stymied when the ball hit second base and changed direction dramatically leaving him in no-man's land as the ball rolled all the way to the fence. With the urging of her teammates, the runner dug in hard and started rounding the bases with determination. "This is going to be real close", mused outfielder John "hans solo" Devries as he witnessed the play unfold--having failed to back up his outfield partner. As "hawk-hawk" barreled rolled in the dusty outfield, the rest of the team screamed at "gazoo" to run and get the ball. Snapping suddenly out of her daze, she retrieved the ball as Saunders picked himself up and ran out to meet her. At this point the run was a foregone conclusion as the runner rounded third and chugged for home at the behest of her delirious teammates. Unperturbed, "don't call me boom-boom" Saunders decided then and there to right his wrong as he unleashed a gargantuan throw from the fence towards home plate. Her foot firmly planted on home plate, "bulldozer" Hale stood nonplussed as the ball rocketed in from the outfield. "This is probably going to hurt", she thought silently to herself as she willed the courage to stand her ground. With one hop, "bulldozer" clutched the ball a heartbeat before the base runner crossed home plate to make the out, end the Stop Hitting on Us rally, and finish off an absolutely spectacular play as the momentum clearly swung in favour of the Fun Bunch. Going into the bottom of the eighth inning, the Fun Bunch held a narrow one run lead 16-15 over Stop Hitting on Us. With two out, and runners on first and second, "gazoo" came to bat and hit a seemingly clutch single. Making a rare appearance at umpire "field marshal" wasn't feeling good about how the play was unfolding. In what should have been a solid single, "hans solo" was for some reason having a hard time legging the hit out to second base. "This is not going to end well", "field marshall" thought as his stomach began to do summersaults. The ball came into second followed very closely by "hans solo" in a too close to call play. Making their position crystal clear, the Stop Hitting on Us players ran off the field before the call was made in a shocking display of arrogance. In a moment that lasted a lifetime, "field marshal" quickly ran through the options in his mind. He knew he would be entirely within his right to call "hans solo" safe, but given the previous inning's debacle, he sensed that tensions were surely running high and that a safe call might spark a riot. Taking the high road he called the runner out and averted a calamity. Despite having denied his team a chance to pad their lead, his teammates were unanimous in their support of his decision. "Not to worry - we are the better team and we will win this game", Chantal "bud light lime" Bujold assured him confidently. What then transpired is the stuff of legends. Stop Hitting on Us, smugly congratulating themselves on their abhorrent behaviour, proceeded to score two runs to take a 17-16 lead into the bottom of the ninth as they backslapped and high-fived each other as they sauntered onto the field--the game seemingly in the bag. The inning, however, transpired somewhat differently. With no home runs left, Scott "boom boom" Saunders came to the plate and drilled a single up the middle. Saunders wasn't going to be left hung-out-to-dry at first however, as he rounded the bag with a vengeance clearly intent on getting a double. With a close play at second, Saunders remained safe with a stand-up double when the dust had settled. None out, a runner at second and Chantal "rum runner" at the plate. Despite the searing pain in her back, "rum runner" crunched the first pitch to advance "boom boom" to third and put the winning run ("gazoo" standing in for "rum runner" as pinch runner) aboard at first. Next up, "the wrangler" Rankin. Eager to earn his way out of the dog house following his solo shot earlier in the game, "the wrangler" wasted no time as he crushed the first pitch to the fence for a triple. "don't call me boom-boom" scampered in from third base for the tying run rather easily. Charged with emotion, "gazoo" headed for third in a gallop--intent only on winning the game. Despite her teammates instructions to "stay at third" she defiantly ignored them and picked up the pace as she rounded the corner. At this point, Stop Hitting on Us had picked up the ball and it was rapidly making its way to the infield. "gazoo" accelerated as her teammates cheered her on while Fun Bunch umpire "hans solo" Devries sidled into an unobstructed position to observe the impending outcome. What happened next seemed to unfold in slow motion. As "gazoo" bore down on home plate the ball sailed into the catcher's glove one step ahead of her. Unwilling to give up on the play, she lunged towards home plate--rattling the Stop Hitting on Us catcher in the process--and causing her to bobble and ultimately drop the ball--averting an almost certain bench-clearing-brawl by avoiding a controversial call at home. A teary-eyed "rum runner" --one of the many heroes of the night--broke down at the end of the game. "We won this one for my little brother who couldn't be here with us", she sobbed referring to the heart and soul of the team Richard "wild thing" Bujold who had left earlier to get treatment for a serious infection at the closest hospital emergency. Reached after the game for comment and sedated heavily with narcotics, "wild thing" assured his teammates that he was fine and that he "loved them all very much".
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