PLETHORA OF PLAYERS
Biggest turnout of the season portends victory over athletics
OTTAWA - The fun bunch stuffed the dugout with twelve players on Wednesday night to take on the always tough Athletics at Hampton Park. Heck even the reclusive Patti "gazoo" Anderson, Clark "pound 'em back" Lawlor and John "solo" Devries were there. In fact, "pound 'em back" had no sooner returned from the cottage from an extended holiday, where he had been pounding back pints on the dock, when he pounded the first pitch over the left field fence for a disappointing solo shot. Looking pleased with himself, he giddily clicked his heels and flitted around the bases. That was until he rounded third and ran directly into steve "field marshal" saunders blocking his base path. "what do you think you're doing?", "field marshal" calmly asked as "pound 'em back" picked himself up slowly off the ground. "Pound 'em back's" smug look of self-satisfaction evaporated in an instant. He lowered his eyes like a scolded puppy. He knew that he had put himself before the team and felt ashamed. Averting "field marshal's" steely glare, he quickly slunk off the field and into the dugout where john "Methuselah" devries continued to tear a strip off him . "What in tarnation is up with you young whippersnappers these days", he wheezed in a high pitch voice as everyone rolled their eyes and prepared for his "back in my day" lecture that was to follow. In the next inning, with rowena "scoresheet" sams aboard, "field marshal" took the first pitch deep for a two run shot to make the score 3-1 and pad the fun bunch lead. Richard "wild thing" Bujold was playing second base due to his ongoing shoulder injury. With "wild thing" fielding grounders however, there was never a dull moment, as even routine plays became nail-biting, white knuckle affairs. True to form a ball was hit to "wild thing", deep in the hole. "field marshal" moved over to cover 2nd base, as the runner advanced. What should have been a quick bang-bang double play , instead unfolded like a slow-motion horror show. "wild thing" charged the ball and tripped as he did so. He stumbled for several steps before recovering awkwardly. He attempted to field the ball and it bounced off the heel of his glove into the air. Mesmerized, both teams watched stunned as the charade continued to play out with "wild thing" now juggling the ball like a seasoned circus performer. With the runner rapidly approaching the bag, "wild thing" finally got control and with a deft flick of his glove sent the ball perfectly to "field marshal" for the out. "well I'm not sure that's the way they teach it in training camp, but he managed to get the job done", chuckled glen "the wrangler" rankin to his outfield comrades as they all guffawed once more at "wild thing's" playful hijinks. In the bottom of the fifth inning the score was tied 4-4, but the fun bunch rallied. Hits by Taylor "the terror" Albert, Patti "gazoo" Anderson, Richard "wild thing" Bujold and Glen "the wrangler" Rankin, had generated a run and brought scott "boom boom" saunders to the plate. Looking to atone for his woeful attendance this season, he settled into the batter's box and glanced towards his big brother steve "field marshal" saunders on the pitching mound for further instructions. Scowling, "field marshal" reluctantly gave him the "green light" sign and proceeded to "toss one in like a beach ball". "boom boom's" eyes lit up like saucers as he licked his chops and unloaded on the hapless softball. While not in the same league as one of his brother's legendary homers, it was big nonetheless as it easily cleared the fence and scored four runs for a grand salami to make the score 9-4. As "boom boom" rounded the bases he looked in and tipped his cap to his brother in a "thanks for patiently teaching me how to do that" gesture of gratitude. In one of their final games to prepare for the season ending tournament, there were a few hiccups along the way. John "hans solo" Devries and Clark "pound-em-back" Lawlor--in a keystones cop moment---let an easy fly ball drop between them as both stopped running and looked at each other to make the play. There were also some defensive highlights with leah "road runner" morrel snagging a grounder at third and making a perfect throw to first for an out. Not to be outdone glen "the wrangler" rankin, chased after a line drive to the outfield and made a great throw to third for a tag play out. With all three home runs used up, steve "downtown" saunders came to bat. Keeping it in the park didn't come naturally to "downtown" but he would have to do his best. Choking up on the bat so that he was almost holding the far end of the barrel, he waited patiently for a pitch that he could pull down the line. His patience was rewarded and he knew as soon as he hit it that this was going to be a dandy. He galloped around the bases like a thoroughbred, digging up clouds of dust as stone chips spit out like shrapnel in his wake. He made it easily into third for a stand-up-triple to lead off. At that point, there seemed to be some discussion at home plate as "hans solo" wasn't sure the ball landed in fair territory. With the Athletics kicking up a stink, "hans solo" robbed "downtown" of his triple and made him go back to the plate. Incensed--and exhausted--"downtown" returned to the scene of the crime. He took a deep breath, choked up on the bat once more, looked out to the pitching mound and asked his little brother to "toss one in like a beach ball". Displaying the skill of a surgeon, he drilled the ball deep into the corner down the first base line all the way to the fence again. Immediately, he began accelerating and rounding the bases at break neck speed. There would be no stopping at third this time. Seemingly defying the laws of physics, he rounded the bases with nary a glance into the outfield. This was going to be an in-the-park-homerun without question. In fact, he briefly thought about running around the bases twice he had so much time, but left it at a triple and in-the-park home run in the same at bat. Fun Bunch win 17-8 and look to be in good shape for the tournament.
--------------------------------------------