MUDFEST
slippery conditions don't deter fun bunch from ending the season with seven straight wins
OTTAWA-With the infield a sloppy quagmire after three straight days of rain, the fun bunch did their best to avoid any injuries as they annihilated the rough-around-the-edges rebels 20-9 in a soggy, muddy affair. The game started off very late due to an all-too-common, nasty habit of fun bunch players refusing to arrive on time or simply not showing up at all. Paolo "slip-n-slide" Daros, Chantal "bud light lime" Bujold and Richard "wild thing" Bujold all decided to kick-back and take the night off, leaving their depleted teammates to once again twist in the wind. Exacerbating the shortage was John "hans solo" Devries who warned that he too would be late due to an urgent "cocktail gala" that he "must attend". Things got off to a rocky start when the ever-feisty rebels insisted the game start--after waiting twenty minutes past game time--despite the fun bunch having only seven players. Realizing that the cavalry was in fact not going to arrive and save the day, steve "field marshal" saunders acquiesced begrudgingly and the game got under way. Even with only two outfielders it was a one-sided affair from the get-go as the fun bunch scored thirteen runs in the first four innings including a home run, triple and a double in his first three at bats by steve "downtown" saunders who ended the game going six for seven with five runs scored. Everyone scored at least one run and everyone got at least two hits. Rowena "scoresheet" Sams led the women with six hits and two runs scored while leah "the roadrunner" morrel had three runs scored and four hits. In addition to "downtown's" heroics, clark "pound 'em back" lawlor scored three runs on four hits, glen "the wrangler" rankin scored three runs on five hits, and john "hans solo" devries scored two runs on a perfect night going six for six at the plate. The rebels were a different story. Upon arriving at the diamond they fashioned a make-shift rain shelter with a tarpaulin that they jury-rigged over the bleachers to ostensibly "keep them out of the rain" despite the fact that it wasn't raining. It became clear what the shelter's true purpose was as the rebels emerged tardily at the start of each inning giggling uncontrollably and confused as to what position they should be playing, resembling the keystone cops as they bumbled about on the field. John "hans solo" devries finally arrived in the third inning--straight from his gala event--after clearly imbibing rather heavily. Running out on to the field, still shod in his wingtips and wearing a smart navy blazer, he was sent back immediately to the dugout to don his proper uniform and cleats by an unimpressed "field marshal" who harrumphed his displeasure. While "hans solo" had an outstanding game at the plate as previously mentioned, his over indulgence wreaked havoc on his hand-eye coordination in the outfield as he stutter-stepped awkwardly before juggling and ultimately dropping a routine fly ball. The play of the game however took place in center field. With the rebels mounting a muted rally, their biggest player strode to the plate. He looked resplendent as he showcased his impressive array of tatoos and body piercings before he dug into the batter's box and waved his bat menacingly. One pitch later he crushed the ball deep into the gap. It was at this time that clark "pound 'em back" lawlor sprung into action. Looking to atone for his woeful pitching, he dug his cleats into the slippery outfield as he tracked the ball's trajectory. Huffing and puffing, he kept his eyes affixed--even as the ball disappeared against the night sky and bright sodium arc field lights. The ball was plummeting to earth now, seemingly exceeding the laws of Newtonian physics as "pound 'em back" realized he would not be able to make the play. With every ounce of strength he had remaining in his body, "pound 'em back" leapt towards the ball, glove outstretched in front of him. Timing his manoeuvre perfectly, "pound 'em back" closed his glove on the ball just as it began to graze the tips of the outfield grass, his momentum causing him to continue to slide until he came to an abrupt stop on the rough gravel of the infield, his glove held high triumphantly. Spitting out a mouthful of rain water, he flipped the ball to the pitcher before raising his index finger and stating, "one out", matter-of-factly to his teammates.
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