FUN BUNCH BOUNCE BACK WITH A VENGEANCE
Team scores 27 runs in only 7 innings
OTTAWA-With steve "field marshal" saunders back from holidays, and his steady hand firmly on the tiller, he quickly righted and set back on course the "SS Fun Bunch", left adrift and sinking in the last game, without his sure-handed stewardship. "I don't know who was in charge last game, and quite frankly I don't even care to know. But this team is now under my command so be forewarned: I will personally keel-haul anyone who doesn't give one hundred percent tonight", "field marshal" bellowed at the top of his lungs. Needless to say the air was still, with no one daring to utter a syllable, let alone make eye contact or for that matter even swallow. "Good, then let's forget all about last week's debacle and teach "Impact" a lesson they won't soon forget", he continued as the team let out a collective sigh of relief, realizing they had got off very lucky. At that point, they were ready to trot onto the field when they realized that despite the fact it was 6:30, they still didn't have enough players nor any bats. Letting out a loud sigh, team captain Alison "bulldozer" Hale realized that the team was still missing John "Hans Solo" Devries and newcomer Lindsey "line-drive" Andrusek, she herself getting to the diamond a full fifteen minutes late. "Nothing like leading by example eh 'bulldozer' ", chided Martin "the gazelle" Desjardins appearing in his last game before the tournament. With no option but to swallow her pride, "bulldozer" lowered her head and shambled over to the opposition dugout to ask if they could lend her a back catcher and maybe a couple of bats. "You don't have any bats? You do know this is a baseball game right?", the captain of Impact sarcastically replied, appalled at the all-too-common antics of the fun bunch, before reluctantly handing over a couple of well-worn models. "Here take these, but bring them back at the end of the game. Don't try to walk off with them or anything", she added for good measure. By this time John "Hans Solo" Devries managed to show up a solid twenty minutes after the official start time, punctuality, clearly not his strong suit. As the "home" team, the fun bunch headed to the field and executed a very tidy three-up three-down inning before they managed to score four runs of their own in the bottom half of the first in what was to be an ongoing theme in the game as they quickly built up a 12 to 1 lead by the bottom of the third. In fact, the fun bunch displayed such a barrage of offense, that the hapless Impact team was rendered helpless , stunned and quickly demoralized. Displaying selfishness, two gargantuan Impact players, gobbled up all three home runs generating a paltry 4 runs in the process. The fun bunch on the other hand, displayed patience and strategy as they generated an impressive 10 runs with their three home runs (including yet another ho-hum grand-slam from "field marshal"). In fact, the offensive statistics for the fun bunch are mind-boggling: newcomer lindsay "line-drive" andrusek, 7 for 10, 4 runs scored, alison "bulldozer" hale, 8 for 10 , five runs scored (including two clutch two out hits that she drove to deep centre field), martin "the gazelle" desjardins, 6 for 6 with 3 runs scored, bill "the thrill" ranson, 5 for 6 with 5 runs scored, steve "downtown" saunders, two home runs, 6 for 6 and 4 runs scored, scott "boom boom" saunders added another home run. In the middle of this maelstrom, the fun bunch bat bag was delivered to the diamond by matt "the magician" bujold. Looking rather sheepish, he explained that he had no excuse for being late, and that he was solely to blame and ready to accept the full consequences of his actions as he stood at attention and awaited his punishment. "At ease soldier. No reason to apologize, you have done us great service by sparing for our team the last few games, so rest easy you will not be punished--just don't ever let it happen again", "field marhsal" replied reassuredly. With the fun bunch on cruise control, things however did manage to get a little wonky in the later innings when the newly-minted infield tandem of scott "boom boom" saunders (playing short with a sore foot) and john "hans solo" devries playing second managed to make a couple of mental mistakes as can be expected adjusting to new positions. . "hans solo" in particular seemed to have trouble taking the relay from "the gazelle" as he dropped, mishandled, and otherwise resembled a farmer trying to catch hold of a greased pig as he struggled to get a firm grip on the ball. The fun bunch put on a base running clinic as they feinted, stutter-stepped and out-manoeuvred their way to easily a dozen extra bases. With the game winding down, "hans solo" was coming up to bat for the last time. Knowing full well that all three homers had been used up (complements of the "bash brothers"), he nonetheless proceeded to "give it all he had" in a confounding last-ditch attempt to "put one over the fence". With the ball seemingly headed over the fence for an unnecessary out, the laws of physics finally won out, and the ball hit the inside of the fence. Scanning the infield to see exactly where "hans solo" had made it during all the hang-time , "field marshal", was shocked to find him still standing at home plate, quietly admiring his handiwork. "What in god's name are you doing!", "field marshal" exploded, "you should be heading for home by now", he continued his rage now a full-on conniption. Awakened from his semi-trance by "field marshal's" caterwauling , "hans solo" quickly realized his foolishness and sheepishly trudged to first base for the longest single in team history. Those theatrics over with, Impact failed to score a run in the top of the eighth inning (the game cut short due to the late start time) rendering the need for the fun bunch to come to the plate moot. Fun bunch win 27-12.
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