ITS ALL OVER BUT THE CRYING
Decimated Fun Bunch no match for new-look Aquabats in one sided loss to end eleven game winning streak
OTTAWA-With four of their regular players deciding to "kick back" and take the night off, that left team captain Alison "Bulldozer" Hale scrambling to fill holes in the lineup with last minute call-ups, forcing the Fun Bunch to start the game firmly behind the eight ball. Making matters worse, the Aquabats sported a barely recognizable lineup of younger, seasoned players who came to the ball park meaning business. With newly minted outfielders Andy "Dandy Andy" Douglas and Scott "too tall" Bradley conscripted to fill holes in the Fun Bunch depleted roster, that left Richard "wild thing" Bujold as the sole original Fun Bunch male outfielder. Sensing an opportunity, the Aquabats wasted no time in putting the neophyte fielders through the meat grinder as hit after hit was launched to center or left field, leaving "wild thing" to watch the onslaught unfold from his placid safe-haven in right field. With their timing still a bit rusty, the new players valiantly did their best to field the arsenal of opposite-field hits , bloop singles, hard liners and deep fly balls that the Aquabats unleashed on them with surgical precision. The Fun Bunch managed to take an early lead on a home run by Steve "downtown" Saunders to go up 8-6 in the third inning only to see that lead evaporate in the fourth inning when they were unable to score a run. Compounding matters, Andy "dandy andy" Douglas injured his groin after the first few innings of relentless hitting to left field which greatly hampered his ability to track down the seemingly endless torrent of softballs. With "dandy andy" visibly limping in the outfield, the Aquabats seized the opportunity--like a pit bull after a poodle-- pulling hit after hit after hit down the line--their boot metaphorically pressed firmly on the neck of the fun bunch. Sensing despair set in, Steve "field marshal" Saunders attempted to rally his troops with an expletive filled tirade. "I don't care if your injured or not - we have our eleven game winning streak on the line and this game is still within reach so stop popping the ball up and make them work for their outs for gods sake" , he screamed hoarsely at his stunned teammates. As if on cue, the team proceeded to load the bases bringing Scott "too tall" Bradley to the plate. Looking him directly in the eye, "field marshal" instructed "too tall" to "park one". Without hesitation, "too tall" launched the next pitch into the stratosphere to rack up four RBIs capping a much needed five run inning. As the fun bunch were about to take their field positions, Richard "wild thing" Bujold timidly asked if perhaps they shouldn't go with four fielders--instead of three--to counter the Aquabats hitting onslaught. Whipping his head around with an audible snap, "field marshal" angrily surveyed his teammates to locate the usurper. Seeing "wild thing" nervously lower his gaze, "field marshal" proceeded to single him out and tear a strip off him for his insubordination, as he cowered and then began to shake uncontrollably like a beaten puppy. "Paolo, you move to the field and spread yourselves four across. That should fill up the outfield nicely. Alison you move to second and Patti take over catcher-any questions?", "field marshal" asked with no interest in waiting for a reply. The team responded and the Aquabats went three up, three down, seemingly confounded by the new-look Fun Bunch defense. Just as momentum began to shift in favour of the Fun Bunch however, "wild thing" moved into action. Fancying himself a back-up pitcher, "wild thing" ran breathlessly to the pitching mound when "downtown" came to the plate. With a sense of utter horror, "downtown" quickly realized that he was not in a nightmare from which he was about to wake, but rather "wild thing" was in fact about to pitch to him. "I'll just be patient he thought", as the first pitched sailed over his head into the backstop. "They can't all be this bad he wondered", as the second pitch rolled across the plate much like a ten pin bowling ball. Just as "downtown" realized that he would have to bite the bullet for the team, "wild thing" released his third and worst pitch of all. Determined to make contact, "downtown" ran halfway to the pitcher's mound and swung the bat, desperate to make contact before the ball hit the ground. Making a sound like a ball-peen hammer striking a coconut, the ball weakly hit the blunt end of the bat and popped up feebly for an easy out. "Whoops sorry about that", "wild thing" chuckled as "downtown" momentarily thought about where he'd like to put the bat. Alison 'bulldozer" Hale made the play of the game when she stood her ground as "downtown" unleashed a bullet for the force at home plate, and snagged the ball with aplomb, only to be denied the out by a home-town call from the Aquabats. Kathy "daredevil" Adare also did her best to challenge her former teammates going three for five in the losing cause. Making it close at 15-18 in the sixth inning, the fun bunch could only score four runs in the last three innings to lose 19-28 to end their eleven game winning streak with their most lopsided loss in years.
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