FUN BUNCH BREAK OUT OF SLUMP
New recruits add some much needed youth to the lineup
OTTAWA - Taking a page out of Bass Line Station's playbook, the fun bunch were hardly recognizable as they strode on to the diamond on Thursday to face their arch nemesis the aquabats. With John "hans solo" Devries, Clark "pound 'em back" Lawlor, Glen "the wrangler" Rankin, Andrew "gazelle" Campbell, Rowena "scoresheet" Sams, Nancy "knock 'em out of the park" Harris, Kathie "daredevil" Adare and Patti "gazoo" Anderson all deciding to kick back and take the night off, that left their teammates (the few that were left) to twist in the wind. Luckily Leah "roadrunner" Morrell came to the rescue and rounded up a plethora of youthful recruits by game time. In addition to Mark "polygon" Pintar, Elliotte "fearless" Fernandes and Colin "vegas" Viegas were also conscripted from "roadrunner's" RA mixed lob ball team to shore up the fun bunch lineup. Making a rare appearance as well was self-proclaimed Scott "hawk" Saunders whose glove, bat and back-up pitching had been sorely missed. With only Alison "bulldozer" Hale, Chantal "rum runner" Bujold and Leah "roadrunner" Morrell the fun bunch women had their work cut out for them. In addition "roadrunner" was pinch running for "rum runner" and was pretty much on her feet for the whole game. Once again, the fun bunch started off slowly, with only one run through the first two innings to trail the aquabats 4 -1 . In the third inning, the team shifted slowly into second gear as they scored five runs without using a home run. The fun bunch new-look all-rookie outfield was causing the Aquabats all sorts of grief as "polygon", "fearless" and "vegas" combined to cover acres of real estate catching everything hit out of the infield. In the fourth inning, it was steve "downtown" saunders' turn to light up the Aquabats as he hammered a three-run shot over centre field to cash in "fearless" and "rum runner" as the fun bunch went on to score four runs and take a 10-7 lead. With the rookies in the outfield that left scott "hawk" saunders at second base and richard "wild thing" bujold as catcher--new positions for both players. In fact "wild thing" took advantage of the slow pace at home plate to multi-task and as he used his cell phone to check in on his job site while returning pitches. With his nokia flip-phone crammed into the crook of his neck, he jostled about home plate chasing down wild pitches, snagging incoming throws from the infield and returning the ball to the pitcher, all while shouting instructions at his work crew. Heading into the fifth inning the bases were loaded when (gulp) "downtown" once again strode to the plate. With "roadrunner", "vegas", and "fearless" all on base, "downtown" knew what he must do. First he cast the base runners a playful wink before instructing his little brother to "throw it in like a beach ball". With his first mighty swing, he caught only a piece of the ball and it foul tipped violently into the backstop, causing the structure to shake as if an earthquake had stuck. "I've never seen you do that before", snickered one of the aquabat infielders with sarcasm. Casting her a steely gaze that caused her to react like a shrinking violet, "downtown" quickly returned to the task at hand. "Now 'boom boom' that pitch was a little bit low. Let's try that again only a bit higher -- and like a beachball", "downtown" carefully instructed his little brother -- with the patience of a saint. As the second pitch sailed in -- perfectly -- "downtown" unloaded with all his colossal might. The ball made a loud popping noise, like a kernel of corn in a microwave oven, as all the air inside was forcefully ejected. The ball -- now completely deformed and unrecognizable -- continued to track upward into the night sky easily clearing the centre field fence and landing like a bean bag in the neighboring diamond. "Downtown" turned to the sarcastic aquabat infielder and said matter-of-factly "yeah, but you've seen me do that before", as he casually dropped his bat and made his slow trot around the bases. With another five runs under their belt, the fun bunch had taken a 15 - 8 lead. Comfortable but not quite out of reach. In fact, the fun bunch had one tough defensive inning where the aquabats scored five runs all with two outs. There were some missed shallow fly balls and several missed chances at first base as the aquabats got a second wind to close the gap to 17 - 13 at the end of the sixth. The fun bunch needed to answer with a big inning of their own and everyone in the dugout knew it. They had to atone for the errors in the sixth inning with some runs. Unfortunately, the first two batters went down in order. That left the fun bunch behind the eight ball with two out and the aquabats yet to have their turn at bat. "Listen you maggots. Time for a reality check. We are the fun bunch and your effort is unbecoming of this storied franchise. You just made a hard task even harder, but I want all of you to do what it takes to score five runs in this inning and win this ball game". Everyone stopped dead in their tracks and looked around confused and bewildered. These words didn't come from "field marshal" who also looked flabbergasted, but rather it was Leah "roadrunner" Morrell who was bellowing this diatribe as she stood arms akimbo atop the dugout bench. "My god they grow up so fast", "wild thing" whispered out of the corner of his mouth to "bulldozer" who nodded stealthily in agreement. Needing no further ado, "rum runner", "roadrunner", "vegas", "fearless" all got hits to score a couple of runs and leave runners on second and third. That brought "downtown" to the plate. His plan was to park the first pitch over centre field for a three run homer, but upon delivery, he realized that wasn't going to happen. The ball was going to be short and inside so he took three great strides and caught the ball squarely on the head of the bat as he followed through low to keep the trajectory down. That would score both runners, but "downtown" was charging to second before the ball was even picked up. Realizing he had time for a triple, he continued galloping around the bases never breaking stride. As he approached third, he took a quick glance over his shoulder and saw a fielder attempting to throw the ball to third. He knew immediately this was a race they weren't going to win as he shifted gears once more and accelerated into home as the ball rolled weakly to third for an in-the-park homer. At fifty-two years old, "downtown's" game had improved like a vintage wine. The aquabats were waving the white flag of surrender. They were no match for this team. The fun bunch now had youth, speed, power, maturity and leadership. They were up 22-13 and would add six more runs to win 28 -13 and let the league know that they were still a force to be reckoned with.
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