NEW LOOK FUN BUNCH HOLD ON FOR THE WIN ON FAN APPRECIATION NIGHT
Team forced to juggle defense in response to two early injuries
OTTAWA- In a season that has officially gone from the sublime to the ridiculous, the Fun Bunch fielded a team of only four regular roster players--two men and two women--and were forced to supplement their ranks with six spares to avoid defaulting their game on Thursday. Matt "the magician" Bujold and "dandy" Andy Douglas joined Steve "field marshal" Saunders and Scott "boom boom" Saunders for a grand total of four guys. Alison "bulldozer" Hale, Chantal "rum runner" Bujold and Rowena "scoresheet" Sams, were joined by a bevy of substitute women recruited by "boom boom" to bolster the sagging ranks of the fun bunch. "Look, when I saw my brother dropping the ball as "manager" or whatever he calls himself, I knew I would have to jump in and help the team out so I started calling everyone I know", said Scott "boom boom" Saunders, grinning with pride at his own accomplishment. The four new women all recruited by "boom boom" made a total of seven for a new female fun bunch one game record. The game started with Matt "the magician" Bujold and Scott "boom boom" Saunders in the outfield joined by Mikaila covering right field with Laurie and Stephanie as rovers. The infield saw "rum runner" at first, "dandy" Andy Douglas at second, Steve "downtown" Saunders at short and Jessica at third. "This is going to take some getting used to", thought "downtown" to himself as he surveyed the unfamiliar landscape. The game was very close with IWD taking an early lead on a long home run by a new player brandishing two batting gloves. Down 3-2 heading into the bottom of the second inning, the Fun Bunch ran into some trouble as Matt "the magician" Bujold pulled his quad running to first and Scott "boom boom" Saunders pulled his hamstring running hard around the bases. Taking a 4-2 lead into the top of the third inning, on-field captain Steve "field marshal" Saunders was forced to make some defensive changes. "Andy and I will play the outfield so you guys don't have to run so much with your pulled muscles", he said to "boom boom" and "the magician" as they swapped spots with "field marshal" swooping into centre field. IWD was confounded by the move. "What's with the old guy in centre field? Let's hit the ball to him, he won't be able to run very fast", the next IWD batter snickered as he attempted to drop a hard liner in front of "field marshal". Moving as gracefully as he did twenty-five years ago, "field marshal" dove to catch the liner for the out. Keeping a watchful eye on the foolish third base runner who thought they would tag up and trot in for an easy sacrifice run, "field marshal" immediately barrel-rolled to his feet, spit out a mouthful of dirt, grass and black flies, and then launched a rocket into "scoresheet's" glove at home plate to beat the runner by a step and a half for a rarely seen double play from the outfield. "Keep the ball away from the centre fielder", the IWD batter said to his teammates as he slunk off the field and back into the dugout, his head hung in shame and embarrassment, his cheeks turning a deep shade of crimson. Tonight was "fan appreciation night" and the team was joined by several alumni who came out to cheer their team on. Maggie "magpie" McGovern, Betsy "double play" Moore and Soren "scoop" Sorensen all braved the hot humid weather, the black flies and the intermittent rain to support their team as they huddled under a sea of umbrellas. Heading into the third inning, the Fun Bunch started to tighten up their defensive play, as the players quickly adjusted to their new positions and proceeded to allow IWD to score only a single run in the next three innings. However, just when things started looking up, captain Alison "bulldozer" Hale took matters into her own hand. With one out in the bottom of the third, "dandy" Andy Douglas made it to second on a single and a tag up. The next batter--Stephanie--hit the ball deep to mid-center field for what looked like a single. "dandy" worked his way half way to third, keeping a watchful eye on the fielder who at the last minute made the catch for the second out. "dandy" then slowly walked back to second as the IWD fielder threw the ball hard into second base trying for the pick off. Nonetheless, "dandy" made it back to second and beat the throw by a half step. "Yer out!", screamed "bulldozer" the ersatz fun bunch umpire. "What are you talking about? He was safe by half a step!", screamed "field marshal" in response from the pitching mound--his blood pressure beginning to percolate--as he ran in to discuss the matter further with "bulldozer". "Look 'bulldozer', we're missing three-quarters of our team here and we're in a fight for our life, what are you doing calling our player out when he was clearly safe for crying out loud?", "field marshal" asked, genuinely perplexed. "You're right, he was safe, but he never should have been so cavalier about walking back into second base. I am going to teach him a lesson he won't soon forget", harrumphed "bulldozer", indignant at the thought of her authority being questioned. "oh boy, we are really going to have to win this one the hard way", muttered "field marshal" as he shook his head and shuffled off the field to start the next inning. With his team up 6-4 heading into the bottom of the fifth, "field marshal" implored his team to dig deep and come up with five runs which they promptly did as "dandy", Laurie, "scoresheet" and "boom boom" all came home to score the first four runs of the inning. With no one on base, "downtown" told his little brother to "throw it outside" as he saw a big gap in the opposite field as IWD was playing him to pull the ball. "downtown" promptly hit the first pitch into the gap and it rolled all the way to the fence. With no one on base to slow him down, "downtown" started tearing up the infield as he accelerated around the base path with ever widening strides. Leaning hard as he rounded third, he heard "boom boom" tell him to go for it, at which point he impossibly shifted into yet a higher gear to easily cross home plate for an in-the-park home run and the fifth run of the inning, to put the fun bunch up 11-4. With IWD scoring four runs in the next two innings, the gap closed to 13-8 for the fun bunch heading into the top of the eighth (for some reason the last inning of the game). IWD scored a couple of runs to threaten, but was then shut down by the Fun Bunch defense who won the game 13-10 without playing the bottom half of the inning.
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