PARTY'S OVER
Fun Bunch squeak out a tie with ninth inning rally
OTTAWA - It's official. The aura of invincibility that once enveloped the undefeated fun bunch is now long gone -- suddenly and spectacularly, like an overinflated balloon popped by a sharp pin. The once infallible fun bunch have become mediocre. Their once feared blitzkrieg-like offense now resembles a sputtering pop-gun. Their shut-down, cast-iron defense now looks more like wet, shredded cheesecloth. Their once lock-step military precision now more like the bumbling keystone cops. Where did it all go wrong? Turn back the page two short weeks ago and they were the toast of the league. Unbeaten in nine games. Season long winning streak. Knocking off all the toughest teams including the Athletics and Bass Line Station both championship finalists. Now the team that steve "field marshal" saunders has worked so hard to assemble, train and lead was in shambles. After their season long winning streak ended one game ago, what was needed was a sharp rebound and a return to form with a morale-boosting, one-sided, bone-crushing win. With the IWD loonies next on the schedule, it looked like just what the doctor ordered. The hapless loonies should have proven sheep-to-the-slaughter but instead grabbed the lead in the second inning and held on for dear life while the fun bunch spun their wheels futilely trying to catch them. Once again, the fun bunch couldn't score a run in the first two innings and had only a single hit. Compounding the problem, Clark "pound 'em back" lawlor took a page out of John "hans solo" devries playbook and hit not one but two solo shots to score two runs but leaving the team with only one home run left. With nary a modicum of offense at their disposal, the fun bunch quickly fell behind the loonies. The stalked soon became stalker as the fun bunch defense floundered and turned a cake-walk into an error-fest. Usually steady center fielder scott "boom boom" saunders had a dreadful night -- dropping not one, but three easy fly balls to allow runs to score. Scolded by his big brother steve "field marshal" saunders, for once again eschewing baseball cleats for tennis shoes, he did his best impression of paolo "slip-n-slide" daros as he slid around in the outfield, unable to get any traction with his frictionless foot wear. Not to be out done, Alison "bulldozer" Hale, had a rare opportunity to right the ship, with a couple of shallow easy pop-ups, but alas dropped in harmlessly behind her as she struggled with her depth perception. Even rock-solid first baseman kathy "daredevil" Adare dropped an easy pop-up as did Leah "roadrunner" morrel as if they had all been drinking from the same tainted water bottle. But, as usual, the best was yet to come. With richard "wild thing" bujold placed strategically out of harm's way at third base, his moment to shine was quickly upon him as an easy pop-up came his way. Foul, but just past third base, richard circled for what seemed like an eternity as he tried to get a bead on the lazy fly. As the ball landed in his glove, it made a sound like a marble landing on a metal roof and then popped loose as "wild thing" mistimed its entrapment. As if that weren't bad enough, the surly loonie umpire called the hit "fair" and then awarded the baserunner second base because "wild thing" knocked the ball out-of-play. Down 13-9, embarrassed by the lowly loonies, the fun bunch were now seething after the call. With wisdom well beyond his years, "field marshal" seized the opportunity to rally his troops. "Are you going to let this team beat you?", he bellowed snapping the team out of its collective haze. "We are contenders, and they are a team of also-rans. If it wasn't for our ineptitude this game would already be out of reach. Now they are making home-town calls to boot just to rub our noses in it. Enough is enough. The bleeding stops here. Anyone who isn't prepared to do whatever it takes to win this game can head to the parking lot now", he screamed at the top of his lungs in one big whoosh of air. The team stood transfixed. The ball diamond went eerily quiet. Even the mosquitoes stopped buzzing about and sat down on the fence afraid to move. After what seemed like an eternity, sophomore Leah "roadrunner" Morrel piped up, "I want to win too field marshal!", then "wild thing" agreed whole heartedly, then "bulldozer" and soon the whole team joined in the chorus. With that they headed out to the field for the top of the ninth inning where "roadrunner" put on a dramatic defensive spectacle. A hard liner was hit to the hole at second, but using her blazing speed she tracked it down, then she stopped, pivoted and drilled the ball hard enough into "daredevil's" glove to cause her to wince in pain. "tee hee , I learned that trick from 'field marshal'", she giggled as she got the first out of the inning. Second batter, pop fly to the outfield easily handled by "wild thing". Two out. Next batter hit a liner to the outfield which was an easy single, but he decided to get greedy and go for second. Glen "the wrangler" Rankin fielded the ball cleanly and threw it hard into second. With her back to the play, "roadrunner" was unaware what was unfolding, as the loonie runner was charging hard to second. But always the wily veteran , "field marshal" was guiding "roadrunner" with precision instructions, like a skilled puppeteer operating his marionette. "He's coming in hard. Grab the ball. Now you have to tag him, so just swing around to your right and slap him with your glove", "field marshal" calmly advised. Roadrunner executed with laser-like precision. As she swung hard with her glove, she caught the base runner firmly in the groin causing him to squeal before falling to the ground and writhe in pain. "You're out!" , "roadrunner" shrieked as she stood astride him, arms akimbo. He slowly got to his feet. Dust had stuck to his face. He had abraded both his knees like chalk on a rough blackboard and blood was beginning to trickle from his wounds. There was a dull throbbing pain coming from his abdomen that was excruciating. He shambled off the field, slowly, as if each step was his first, embarrassed, bloodied, dirty and disgraced. Now it was the fun bunch's turn at bat. Bottom of the ninth down four runs. "Pound 'em back" got the party rolling with a double, then "roadrunner" continued her exemplary performance with a deep single. Rowena "score sheet" Sams beat out a single to load the bases and then "the wrangler" cleared them off with a double. Score now 14-13, a runner on second and "wild thing" strode to the plate. "Wild thing" had quietly turned in a masterful offensive game. As leadoff hitter, he had gone 4-for-4 and scored two runs. Now the tying run was on second. He spit in both hands, dug himself in at home plate, took three practice swings and then cast "field marshal" a playful wink and said "throw it in like a beach ball". He drilled the first pitch for a solid single to drive in "the wrangler" and tie the game. Looking proud as a peacock, he strutted to first base. Although the fun bunch couldn't manage the winning run, they put the loonies and the rest of the teams in the league on notice -- don't ever take the fun bunch for granted.
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