FUN BUNCH WIN TWO IN A ROW
Team rounding into form but face big test next week
OTTAWA-The lacklustre fun bunch are starting to look like more like a ball team and less like the keystone cops since steve "field marshal" saunders took over the helm two games ago. With his trademark "take no prisoners" approach to the game, he has instilled a sense of pride and determination once again into this storied franchise. Slowly but surely, he has managed to tighten just the right bolts and turn just the right dials to keep the SS fun bunch from sinking. Still listing, but no longer taking on water, the team is now seaworthy but still a far cry from its glory days and much hard work remains to be done. "You have to walk before you can run", "field marshal" said calmly when asked of what he thinks of his team's progress to date. "We are slowly improving and every game we win goes a long way to restoring our confidence eroded away through seasons of mollycoddling", the sage veteran continued. Once again, the team was slow out of the starting gate as the first three guys went down in order as IWD took a quick 4-1 lead in the first inning. With the ravages of time seemingly catching up to john "Methuselah" devries , he struggled going o-for 3 in his first three at bats to quickly erase last week's impressive outing. A rare appearance by Clark "pound 'em back" lawlor held a modicum of promise until he popped out in three of his first four at bats. With Glen "the wrangler" Rankin informing the team two minutes before game time that he would be skipping the first half of the game in lieu of a golf tournament, that left "field marshal" with only four guys and in a real bind. Down 4-1 and short a player, "field marshal" sighed deeply. "What have I done to deserve this?", he pondered rhetorically, casting his eyes heavenward in a moment of self pity. Displaying uncanny savvy that has made him the scourge of the league, he huddled his troops together quickly before the start of the second inning. Fearing the worst, the team nervously convened with palpable trepidation. "This game should be a slam dunk for gawds sake. Keep in mind we are playing IWD the laughing stock of the league. Their shortstop couldn't throw the ball straight if he had a GPS strapped to his forehead. So I want everyone to take a deep breath, show some pride and load up the bases for me", he said in as soothing a voice as he could muster. Perfectly on queue, leah "the roadrunner" morrel, glen "the wrangler" rankin and kathie "daredevil" adare got aboard to load the bases and portend "downtown's" impending trip to the plate. With "hans solo's" failed debut as pitcher in the first inning, "downtown" signalled to the dugout for "pound 'em back" to take to the mound. "Are you sure you want me to pitch?", "pound em back" inquired incredulously from the dugout. "Get out there and throw it in like a beach ball", came "downtown's" terse reply. With a quick "yessir", "pound 'em back" scampered quickly out to the mound. Surveying the battlefield, "downtown" settled in to the batter's box and took a deep breath. "Remember, a beach ball", he reminded "pound 'em back before winding the spring. The ball kept getting bigger and bigger as it sailed lazily into home plate as if on a silver platter. In fact, "downtown" could have sworn there was a bulls-eye on it as he hammered it into the stratosphere for a gargantuan grand slam to give the fun bunch the lead 5-1. Ashamed of their actions in the first inning, the team quickly rallied around their leader and sprung into action. "the roadrunner" went 6 for 6 - outrunning even infield hits with her blazing speed. Kathie "daredevil" adare scooped up everything even remotely within the vicinity of first base like a hoovermatic and went 4 for 5 including a massive hit into left field. John "hans solo" Devries once again turned back the cruel hands of time and finished the game with three straight hits. Heck even patti "gazoo" anderson got caught up in the excitement as she attempted the unthinkable and briefly feigned catching a fly ball before nervously reeling in her glove like a contracting slinky. "I didn't scream this time!", she effused enthusiastically to her teammates beaming with pride. Not one to rest on his laurels, "downtown" proceeded to crush two more home runs for a grand total of three in three consecutive at bats to give his team a commanding 13-6 lead going into the sixth inning. Sadly, and despite the ten RBI's posted by "downtown", the fun bunch faltered as the next six batters failed to get a hit allowing IWD to stumble into the lead 14-13 heading into the eighth inning. Demoralized, "field marshal" once again huddled his troops. "Look - I've done all I can - we are out of home runs now. Each of you has to dig deep and get on base the old fashioned way - with well placed grounders and hustling down to first. You have to keep the ball on the ground", he admonished his teammates. As if a gigantic light bulb had just turned on, the fun bunch got the message loud and clear and proceeded to hit grounders and chalk up seven runs in the last two innings to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat and cruelly crush the spirits of the hapless IWD loonies as they watched helpless as their win evaporated into the night air along with their dignity.
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