NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS
Fun Bunch soundly defeat dog's bollocks for eighth straight win
OTTAWA-The Fun Bunch beat the bollocks in a lop sided affair 21-6 on Thursday with four of the bollocks runs coming in a sixth inning hitting frenzy. However, with the exception of that one inning, the bollocks had trouble with their offense with many pop ups and ground outs and not a single home run at the "home run friendly" Hampton Park diamond. The game got off to a humourous start when Steve "senior moment" Saunders forgot to pick up first base woman Kathie "I'll catch anything" Adare after assuring her a ride just that morning. As the game got underway, teammates began asking "where's Kathie?" interrupting Saunders animated re-telling of his latest golf exploits. Color draining from his face, Saunders realized that Kathie was sitting on the front porch waiting for him to pick her up. "Sorry guys - I had a really stressful day today what with my hockey, cycling, golf and tennis games all running late, I came straight to the diamond and plum forgot about Kathie!", a clearly exhausted Saunders replied in his defense as Kathie trundled in on her son's tricycle having ridden the two miles to the park after realizing to her horror that Saunders was not simply "running late". With Kathie limping from saddle sores and clearly not impressed, apologies were issued and the team got down to the business of winning the ball game. The Fun Bunch--as usual--made quick work of the three home runs with Steve "downtown" Saunders, Paolo "slip-n-slide" Daros and John "Hans Solo" Devries all belting one out of the park in short order. Unfortunately, "Hans Solo" parked his over the fence, when the team already had three runs scored wasting a run and a homer despite his teams anguished shouts of "just a single". The Fun Bunch started the game with only three women which was a big improvement over last week when they only had two. With Chantal "rum runner" Bujold off to get an extra shift at work, and Tea "the terminator" Derakhshan and Dom "the Dominator" Angelo embroiled in a nasty mid-season contract dispute, that left only "I'll catch anything" Adare, team captain Alison "bulldozer" Hale and Rowena "throw it home" Sams to cover for their teammates. Stepping up to the plate both literally and figuratively all three women managed ten at bats each with some impressive hitting and base running all game long. Making her first foray into the infield in twenty years, Rowena "throw it home" Sams worked the "hot corner" like a pro snagging some hard liners with ease and taking several force plays at third as well. It was a quiet time in right field as Richard "wild thing" Bujold was caught napping on several occasions--after working the night shift the day before--as balls dropped all around him. Left field was another story, however, as Scott "boom boom" Saunders had several deep shots come his way, causing him some measure of consternation as at least one sailed over his head and crashed into the fence before he managed to pick it up and toss it back. Despite getting the odd hit, the bollocks never really threatened as the Fun Bunch made timely outs to extinguish any sort of half hearted rally attempt. One area of concern for the Fun Bunch, however, is getting hits once all the home runs are used up as both "downtown" Saunders and "boom boom" Saunders hit a home run for an out when a single would have sufficed. "Honestly I was aiming for the gap and tried my best for a level swing", said "downtown" as the ball sailed into the forest in center field penalizing the Fun Bunch with an unneeded out. Perhaps some mid-season batting practice might be in the cards for the Fun Bunch big hitters if they want a chance to repeat as season champions.
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