OTTAWA – With baleful weather conditions threatening the start of the season, the fun bunch made their debut at Bell on Thursday, nonetheless. The wind swirled and gusted while ominous looking dark clouds filled the sky as the temperature began to plummet. “This is going to be a chilly one”, remarked plucky first base woman leah “the roadrunner” morrell - her breath crystallizing as she spoke.

Missing stalwarts Kathie “daredevil” Adare, Alison “bulldozer” Hale , Glen “the wrangler” Rankin, John “methuselah” Devries and Richard “wild thing” Bujold, team manager, coach, accountant, trainer, equipment manager, webmaster and perennial all-star steve “field marshal” saunders worked the phones and came up with some last minute replacements to plug the holes.

Making their season debut for the fun bunch were “field marshal’s” niece Paris “song bird” Patricelli and Adrian “sweetspot” Seaman. In addition, Jess “bulls-eye” belanger brought out her friend Mikaela and “the roadrunner” brought out her friend Jenna to round out the bevy of five , young, athletic, women who together lowered the median fun bunch player age by about 25 years. Also joining the squad after a brief retirement of zero games, was mark “polygon” pintar filling in for missing fielder ryan “man-o-war” matishuk.

This awkwardly left “field marshal” as the reigning oldest player on the team. However, he defused the situation brilliantly, taking the taunts of “methuselah” in his good-natured stride.

The fun bunch were playing the Crawlers – a convivial group for sure - but a “B” class team at best.

The game started off slow -- only one run by the fun bunch after two innings. A run scored by “bulls-eye” after clark “pound ‘em back” lawlor placed a hit in the gap that rolled right to the fence for a triple. But then the gloves came off. The fun bunch released a barrage of offense at the hapless crawlers for back-to-back five run including a rare in-the-park home run. “field marshal” rolled back the cruel hands of time and drilled a ball directly at the crawler right fielder (who bore an uncanny resemblance to Colonel Sanders) and proceeded to tear around the base. The Colonel watched the ball sail over his head. By the time he tracked it down it was too late. Three runs had scored and the base paths were cleared.

Although in over their head, the crawlers weren’t about to go gently into the good night entirely. They mustered one impressive five run inning with some well placed hits to make the score 12-5 after 5 innings. But then the fun bunch doubled-down as the onslaught continued. Newcomers “songbird”, “sweetspot”, Mikaela and Jenna all had impressive games. “bulls-eye” crushed one ball so far it would have been over the fence at Hampton Park, but even with the wind blowing in at the large Bell diamond it landed at the base of the fence.

The highlight of the game occurred when the most athletic of the Crawler players “Trevor” tagged a pitch that tipped off “sweetspot’s” glove and rolled all the way to the fence. “Trevor” blazed around the bases determined to give his team a much-needed morale boost. As the ball came in from the outfield, “Trevor” was on his way to third. “field marshal” drilled an off-line throw to Jess from the outfield. “Trevor” rounded third and headed home, but the ball ricocheted off the fence and quick-thinking Mikaela grabbed it and quickly tagged “Trevor” out as he was about to step on home plate to prevent the run, end the inning, and extinguish the nascent Crawler rally in brilliant fashion.

The “bash brothers” worked their magic too. Scott “boom boom” Saunders crushed a (perfect) pitch over the center field fence – with the wind howling in -- to score three runs in the sixth – an impressive feat. However, “field marshal” was not about to be left out of the party. Coming to bat in the ninth, one in-the-park home run already under his belt, he cast a playful wink at his baby brother on the pitching mound and politely asked him to “toss it in like a beach ball”. One pitch later the ball was crumpled over the right field fence to clear the base paths and put the final dagger between the eyes of the punch drunk crawlers. Cold, beaten and humiliated the slunk off the field. Final score 27-7.