FUNBUNCH START SEASON WITH A WIN
IWD saves the day with four spares as team fields only one male by game time
OTTAWA-The Fun Bunch kicked off the season with an ignominious start by fielding a grand total of just one guy by game time. Steve "field marshal" saunders was once again left twisting in the wind by his compatriots, as john "hans solo" devries, scott "boom boom" saunders, richard "wild thing" bujold and newcomer clark "pound 'em back" lawlor all decided to kick back and enjoy a night off. That left "field marshal" scrambling to conscript a bevy of IWD players who had played the game before and were only to eager to play a double header. Quickly slamming the lid of their beer cooler and downing the last of their tallboys they filed into the fun bunch dugout in a minor state of inebriation. But before the first pitch was thrown, Glen "the wrangler" Rankin sauntered into the ball park, followed an inning or two later by paolo "slip-n-slide" daros casually meandering in from the parking lot--oblivious to the fact that the game was well underway. That display of insubordination caused "field marshal" to commence hurtling an expletive-laden tirade directly from the pitching mound at the two lackadaisical players. "slip-n-slide"--well accustomed to "field marshal's" standard greeting--yawned and slowly donned his cleats before commencing some pre-game stretching. The fun bunch went up quickly 1-0 on "field marshal's" double , but were dealt a setback in the second inning when the aquabats scored five runs as the fun bunch showed their rust with a number of fielding errors including all-too relaxed play in the outfield in general. "Your defensive play is abysmal and you have no one to blame but yourselves. Everyone but "scoresheet" pooh-poohed the practice so you all show up to the first game woefully unprepared. The good news is we're only in the second inning so you can still right this sinking ship - now get out there and give me five hard-earned runs", "field marshal", screamed at the top of his lungs. As if being doused metaphorically with a bucket of cold water, the team quickly realized that the mollycoddling they enjoyed under the stewardship of Alison "bulldozer" Hale had run its course and it was now time to "put up or shut up". Trembling and visible shaken, the team proceeded to pound out five runs in the fourth inning to take a slim 7-6 lead as requested by "field marshal", leading to airtight defensive play and a string of three scoreless innings for the aquabats who seemed suddenly perturbed at this odd turn of events. In the middle of this rally, an odd play developed at second base, as the big new offensive threat for the aquabats came charging into second as a hard liner was hit at "field marshal". Handcuffed slightly by the grounder, his lightning fast reflexes nevertheless allowed him to recover quickly and deliver a hard toss into the outstretched glove of sheldon "big bang" cooper--on loan from IWD. Unfortunately, "big bang" couldn't squeeze the perfectly thrown ball and it glanced off his glove directly into the nose of the aquabat base runner causing him to barrel roll in agony as if he had been shot with a gun. "Quit your crying and let me take a look", "field marshal" bellowed--clearly with little tolerance for such on field theatrics. As there was no blood, no bruise, no cut and no facial distortion, "field marshal" pronounced the player "fit as a fiddle" as he nonetheless limped off the field, tears streaming down his cheeks, eyes red, puffy and swollen. The real story of this game however was the play of newcomers leah "free play " morrell, emily " world cup" mountjoy , and trevor "the terror" (on loan from IWD). "free play" and "world cup", both elite athletes and friends of jamie "the machine" marchesi, quickly found their groove although playing softball for the first time. Both women made solid contact and displayed some impressive speed, sprinting down the first base line to beat out infield hits. "the terror"--as it turned out was a dead ringer for martin "the gazelle" desjardins--as he made spectacular catches in the outfield, threw the ball with great gusto and hit two home runs to boot (even if one was a solo shot). Noting "the terror's" impressive debut, "field marshal" and Alison "bulldozer" Hale conspired to secure him as a spare for future outings. With some clutch hitting all round, some great defensive play, and another five run inning in the sixth, the fun bunch cruised relatively easily to an 18-13 victory to set in motion the start of perhaps a stellar season.
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