FUN BUNCH START SEASON WITH A THUD
Depleted ranks a factor in grudge match loss to Athletics
OTTAWA-It was clear that the Athletics were taking this game very seriously when their entire team--plus a couple of new free agents--showed up at the ball diamond before a single Fun Bunch player even pulled into the parking lot. Festooning the backstop with a plethora of bat bags and the latest high-tech carbon fibre softball bats, the Athletics were looking like a well-oiled machine. In stark contrast, the Fun Bunch fielded only a single player by official game time as the rest of the team slowly trickled in late--like a dripping faucet. By 6:30 they had managed to get seven creaky players in various states of readiness as the Athletics were growing increasingly annoyed at these all-too-common antics. With a porous outfield of only three fielders, a borrowed catcher, and a mostly novice infield the Fun Bunch were finally ready to play. All things considered, the game was kept remarkably close be by an Athletics offense that sputtered for most of the game. The Fun Bunch--who had earlier "pooh-poohed" the notion of a pre-season practice--were beginning to regret their hasty decision as they misplayed fly balls, swung at bad pitches, grounded out and popped up harmlessly for most of the game. When newly "un-retired" Fun Bunch player Patti Anderson sauntered into the park--three innings into the game--and proceeded to proudly flaunt the championship trophy--the Athletics became enraged and the game's tone changed dramatically. All of a sudden the Athletics sputtering offense surged into high-gear as they got hit after hit leading to a five run inning as their jubilant team high-fived and chest-bumped their way onto the field. "We were barely holding our head above water so I couldn't believe it when Patti showed up with the trophy", said exasperated shortstop Steve "field marshal" Saunders. "But to stand on the bench and wave it in the air and taunt the Athletics was the last thing we needed", he concluded glumly. The Fun Bunch tried to mount a couple of rallies including a five run inning highlighted by two great two-run shots from John "hans solo" devries and Glen "the wrangler" Rankin but in the end it was too little too late. Richard "wild thing" Bujold decided to start the season with a flair, when he showed up sporting new "Hollywood-style" baseball cleats and a brand new bat that seemed to hit only foul balls for him. New recruit Kathie "I'll play anywhere" Adare slipped effortlessly in to the first base position --recently vacated by Chantal "bud light lime" Bujold who was absent from the game--and did an admirable job cleanly fielding throws from the infield. A rejuvenated captain Alison "bulldozer" Hale showed up in midseason form proudly displaying the results of her off-season training program once again leading by example. "Consider this game our pre-season practice", she calmly stated between yawns. "I'm am not the least bit worried about our team - in fact I guarantee a win next week", she confidently predicted.
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