OTTAWA – They say revenge is a dish best served cold. Yet it was a sweltering hot day Wednesday when the fun bunch faced their arch-rivals the athletics at Hampton park diamond in a replay of last year’s tournament final. As usual, the Athletics had bolstered their lineup with a few new high-calibre players for the re-match, intent on winning. However, wily hall-of-fame coach and general manager steve “field marshal” saunders had a few tricks up his own sleeve.

Unbeknownst to the Athletics, he had lured john “methuselah” devries out of retirement. He told “methuselah” that the athletics had a player who was in fact seventy years old , breaking his longstanding record of oldest player in the league. “tarnation!”, “methuselah” wheezed when he heard the news. “what do you mean someone in the league is older than me! Doesn’t he know who I am?”, he continued growing more agitated. “I’ll make that old geezer sorry he ever left the senior league!”, he wailed after agreeing to play.

In addition “field marshal” had recruited keegan “silver tongue” Irwin to play as well to help fill the gap left by players attending leah “the roadrunner” morrell’s wedding this week in Calgary. “field marshal” had done his best to convince “the roadrunner” to have the wedding at the ball diamond after the game, and the reception at whispers so as to not disrupt the schedule, but “the roadrunner” was adamant. Not even the generous offer of free nachos, kettle chips and half price wings for all the guests from the owner could convince her otherwise.

The game started off rather ominously with the athletics scoring an easy five runs in the top of the first inning. The fun bunch meanwhile were held scoreless, despite a couple of hits.

“field marshal” quickly made a couple of adjustments. He moved Richard “wild thing” into the outfield and moved emilie “big time” belanger” to second base. That left four guys in the outfield and three women along with “field marshall” –who was still hobbled by his herniated disc—in the infield. The move paid off in spades immediately as the fun bunch scored five runs in the next inning – capped off by a home run by scott “boom boom” saunders and (yet another) solo home run by clark “pound ‘em back” lawlor—and shut out the athletics defensively to tie the score 5-5.

However, the athletics regrouped and scored five more runs in the third inning to reclaim the lead. The fun bunch continued to chip away at the lead, and the score was 12-9 for the athletics heading into the fifth inning.

Meanwhile the two recruits “methuselah” and “silver tongue” were both having stellar games. “methuselah” was three for three and winning the “battle of the old timers” , while “silver tongue” was playing stellar defense charging all balls and making a couple of great assists at second.

Another player turning heads was paris “songbird” Patricelli, who had got her first double of the season and would finish the game four-for-four, her best game so far.

With the funbunch behind three runs, and the game slipping out of reach, “field marshal” decided he was going to give it a shot and take a full swing at the ball and see how his back would hold up. With a couple of runners on, he dug himself into the batters box . Wasting no time, he swung at the first pitch that resembled a beach ball and jacked it out of the park. A little twinge of pain followed, but it was well worth it. The fun bunch went on to score five runs and take the lead 14-12.

The fun bunch had a dreadful sixth inning—unable to score a run on only one hit . They entered the seventh inning tied 14-14. This would be the turning point of the game.

Hits by “big time” , “songbird” and “field marshal” along with some aggressive base running all came in to score. The Athletics were getting a bit frazzled. With “boom boom” at second and Richard “wild thing” Bujold at third , a single by “silver tongue” drove in “wild thing”. The outfielder picked up the ball, and “boom boom” rounded third hard and feigned running home. The outfielder was fooled and threw the ball off line towards home plate where it rattled around in the backstop. By the time the catcher picked it up , “boom boom” was doing the stutter-step and yelling at “silver tongue” to take second. The catcher at this point was completely flustered and threw the ball away at second while “boom boom” ran home for the fifth run of the inning as “silver tongue” scooted easily into second. The Athletics world was unravelling.

Hot, embarrassed, tired and dirty, the athletics were in over their heads and they knew it. They failed to score a run in the last two innings of the game which ended on a sharp “sister-act” play when jess “bullseye” belanger snagged a hard grounder at third and threw it to her sister “big time” at second for a force out.

The fun bunch had beat their nemesis and won their third game in a row!