OTTAWA - richard "wild thing" bujold, a lightning rod for controversy, made a rare appearance at bell ball diamond on thursday. MIA the last few weeks, he had been sorely missed by his teammates. "it's just not the same around here without 'wild thing'", emphasized glen "the wrangler" rankin, echoing the sentiments of his teammates who nodded their heads in agreement. He was greeted heartily by his comrades who high-fived and fist pumped him as he trudged into the dugout still in his dusty work clothes, hard hat and steel toed boots. Pizza sauce from his dinner the night before splattered on his t-shirt , two days stubble growth and bags under his eyes clearly suggested a rough week. But "wild thing" was not one to complain and he slipped on his baseball cleats, did a little impromptu stretching and made ready for the nightmare that was to follow.

Also returning after an extended hiatus was patty "gazoo" anderson. Only a part-time player due to her demanding social schedule, it was good to see her at the diamond. Always enthusiastic, effusive and in good spirits, "gazoo" was a pleasure to have in the dugout.

Now before the game started, steve "field marshal" saunders marched over the rebel dugout to clarify the ground rules for tonight. He informed them that due to a scheduling conflict, he was going to have to leave no later than 9:20 PM so that he could make it to his 10PM hockey game at Carleton University. The Rebels understood, so it was agreed that the game would be called as close to 9:20 as feasible. Mind you this was before they dragged their refrigerator-sized cooler into the dugout and commenced downing tallboys with reckless abandon and decided to get a jump-start on the legalized pot bandwagon.

Noticeably absent from the game was scott "twist-in-the-wind" saunders who sent a last minute text that he "would be away for the next two weeks", five minutes before the game started. Following closely in his footsteps was Alison "missing-in-action" Hale (an assistant captain no less), who simply didn't show up for the game. "We should string her up", growled "field marshal's" protege, Leah "roadrunner" Morrell, taking a page out of "field marshal's" playbook. "maybe she got in an accident and she's hurt", rowena "scoresheet" sams said in a worried tone. "No she's fine, she just fell asleep on the sofa!", chimed in Patti "gazoo" anderson in a chipper voice. "field marshal" was fuming. What type of "captain" misses a game because they fell asleep on the sofa? He was going to tear the "C" off her uniform next game and read her the riot act. He got giddy just thinking about it.

But the best was john "Methuselah" devries. He had assured "field marshal" the day before that he would be at the game, yet five minutes after starting time he was nowhere to be seen. Conscripting Corey "too tall" Ploegman at the last minute they started the game without him when "field marshal" couldn't get a reply from him on his cell phone.

The game started well enough with the fun bunch scoring five runs in the first inning including another triple from leah "roadrunner" morrell. Continuing their friendly rivalry, jess gave her the thumbs up sign from the dugout and yelled a congratulatory "nice triple bitch". Leah smiled approvingly and yelled back "thanks bitch" as the inning continued. Sadly, the fun bunch offense dried up after that first magic inning. with only three more runs in the next five innings as the fun bunch fell behind 11-8.

The rebels meanwhile had no problem popping home runs over the fence as they quickly used up all three of theirs. This actually lead to an awkward moment as one of the more intense and ornately tattooed rebel players inadvertently hit a fourth home run for an out. Smiling , his demeanor quickly soured as his teammates started yelling profanities and throwing their crushed up tall boys at him as he ran around the bases. "You're out you idiot", "we're only allowed three home runs you dufus", "your mother wears army boots", were a few of the refrains that rained down on him.

He went ballistic as he charged the dugout and started throwing punches. Tall boys sailed through the air. Screaming ensued as a huge cloud of dust enveloped their dugout. Loud thumps could be heard as blows landed with remarkable accuracy. Blood trickled out onto the field and congealed in the dirt. After what seemed like an eternity, calm ensued as the player emerged from the dugout missing a tooth but with an ice-cold tall boy in his hand. "Everything's good over hear now", he tried to reassure the fun bunch as his combatant lay face down in the dirt.

Meanwhile, "methuselah" had pulled into the parking lot five innings into the game. "Tarnation!" he wheezed as he made his way to the fun bunch bench. " I plumb forgot that the game was tonight", he guffawed." I went out for dinner with my boy, and here I get thissy here 'text message" on my whatchamacallit", he said motioning towards his blackberry. "Ain't this new-fangled technology something else?", he remarked shaking his head as if he had just arrived by horse and buggy.

With the eighth inning about to start, "field marshal" looked quickly at his watch. It was 9:10 PM. This was going to be the last inning. He once again reminded the rebels that he had to leave in ten minutes. The fun bunch were down 12-11. They were about to run on to the field when "field marshal" summoned them back to the dugout. They cringed, like a puppy about to be chastised, they slowly and awkwardly made their way back. They knew the drill. This was going to be unpleasant. They had failed so far in their mission and were going to be given a "dressing down". They prepared themselves for the worst. "Look we don't have a lot of time as I have to leave in ten minutes so I'm going to make this brief", stated "field marshal" before he tore into an abusive tirade that seemed to last an eternity. Just when you thought he was finished, he gulped in another great lungful of air and continued his high octane diatribe. Shamed, embarrassed yet rejuvenated, the fun bunch took to the field. They knew what had to be done and were prepared to do it.

It was a text book inning. Relay from "the wrangler" to "field marshal" to "scoresheet" for an out at home. mark "polygon" pintar corralled a short blooper and executed a perfect tag play on the base runner to second for an out. And--saving the best for last--richard "wild thing" bujold did what he does best. With a runner on first, the batter hit a soft routine grounder to "wild thing" who was playing second. What should have been an innocuous play turned into a white knuckle roller coaster ride as "wild thing" charged for the ball and promptly slipped in the dirt. He briefly and painfully landed on his head. He let out a sound like a tire that's been punctured and is leaking air. With "field marshal" screaming at him, his world was a hazy soup. He could hear sounds but none of them made sense. Lying on the ground in agony he simply wanted to go to sleep but out of the corner of his eye he caught "field marshal" charging towards him, spittle flying from his jowls and despite the pain and disorientation, he knew he better get up. He reached under his stomach and retrieved the ball that had thankfully came to rest there. With the base runner still charging hard towards second, "wild thing" righted himself on his elbows and began crawdaddying his way towards second like something out of a monty python movie. This was going to be close, but "wild thing" flopped face first on the bag, ball in hand milliseconds before the baserunner. "out" the rebel umpire begrudgingly yelled as the fun bunch had shut them down keeping the score 12-11 going into the bottom half of the inning.

"the wrangler" started the inning with a stand up double. He had been hitting the ball well all night long. "scoresheet" followed suit with a single. Hits by "Methuselah", "too tall", and "roadrunner" led to a five run inning (only their second one of the game) and a win for the fun bunch 16-12. Once again the fun bunch had risen to the challenge to come from behind and chalk up another win.