OTTAWA - Only one week after making history with a perfect 30 run game, the fun bunch unwound like a ball of cheap twine to lose 13-12 to Stop Hitting on Us. It was an error-filled nightmare executed with perfunctory effort by the entire team. There were a plethora of players on the bench thanks to last minute change of plans by john "methuselah" devries and clark "pound 'em back / hans solo" lawlor, leaving three players riding the pine each inning. This lead to some of the defensive lapses as players changed positions almost every inning.

Compounding the lack of defense was the appalling lack of offense, terrible base running errors, and the inability to drive in runners in scoring position. Mark "polygon" Pintar , Leah "roadrunner" Morrell, Steve "field marshal" saunders, john "hans solo" devries" all hit lazy fly ball outs when a hard grounder would have driven in runs. Glen "the wrangler" Rankin got called out for crossing the commit line and attempting to go back to third. Nancy "get 'er done" Harris--coming off her commanding five hit/ five run performance in the previous game--drilled a ball into the outfield and then was thrown out at first when she stopped running two feet before crossing the base out of fear of getting hit with the ball. Clark "pound 'em back" lawlor, tripped rounding first base and missed an easy stand-up double. On the next play he was forced out on an avoidable double play to end the inning. In fact, the fun bunch hit into a record four double plays during the game, extinguishing any and all momentum.

Mind you, Stop Hitting on Us played very well. They had a few new players and their fielding was exemplary with not a single dropped ball. The fun bunch on the other hand had scads of fielding errors: a miscommunication between kathy "daredevil" adare and corey "too tall" ploegman led to two dropped balls. There was a dropped ball on a force play at first. Alison "bulldozer" Hale back pedalled and waved off the outfielders only to have a ball plunk in the dirt over her head leading to a five run inning for Stop Hitting on Us. Corey "too tall" Ploegman missed an easy toss from Jess "bulls eye" Belanger at second for a force out that lead to another five run inning. With steve "field marshal" saunders sitting out and the bases loaded, leah "roadrunner" morrell fielded a grounder down third base. When she turned to toss the ball to third, mark "polygon" pintar--playing shortstop in lieu of "field marshal" was not covering the bag. It was hard to watch

There were a few highlights too. Glen "the wrangler" Rankin went three for three and scored two runs. He drilled the ball right down third base all night long and had a great aggressive base-running play at second for a much needed double. Clark "pound 'em back" lawlor too had a couple of hard line drive type hits, keeping the ball out of the air to keep the rally going. Jess "bulls-eye" belanger, filled in admirably for "field marshal" at short stop one inning as she stopped a hard grounder and threw to first for an impressive out.

Stop Hitting on Us did all their scoring on three home runs--including one grand slam. Whereas the fun bunch could muster only a single home run -- a solo shot complements of "field marshal" who was simply trying to drill a line drive into center field. When all the dust had settled, Stop Hitting on Us had a 13-10 lead going into the bottom of the eighth and last inning. With two out, and two runners on, steve "downtown" saunders came to bat. A Home run would tie the game. His teammates took a collective sigh of relief. Stop Hitting on Us grew agitated as they ran to the deepest part of the diamond. A few outfielders thumbed their rosaries as they quickly whispered a couple of hail Mary's for good measure. "downtown" strode to the plate, the weight of his entire team once more on his broad shoulders. He desperately wanted to hit a home run but was dealing with a couple of physical issues that would have prevented a lesser man from suiting up for the game. His right hand was crippled with a debilitating ganglion cycst, aggravated by a week of non-stop golf. Iced down, and pain muted with analgesic cream, he gripped his favourite thirty ounce demarini with lizard-skin grip as best he could. As he did so, he winced as a sharp stabbing pain shot through his left hand. Only days earlier, he had his little finger surgically re-attached after a accident severed a good portion of the tip including the proper volar digital artery. Stitched back together like some kind of frankenstein-cum-clean-up-hitter he dug into the batter's box. He knew exactly what he was going to do - drill another line drive up the middle and over the fence- he simply needed a reasonable pitch to complete his quest.

He looked out to the pitching mound. On it was his baby brother Scott "boom boom" Saunders. "Boom boom" had struggled with his consistency all night. But "downtown" was a patient man. Taking a deep breath he looked "boom boom" square in the eyes and reminded him, "now remember, just toss it in like a beach ball". "boom boom" gulped heavily as a profuse sweat broke out on his forehead. He reached back and threw the first pitch in. This clearly wasn't the pitch as "downtown" narrowly missed getting struck in the cheek. "boom boom" looked sheepishly towards the batter's box, expressing remorse for his failure. "Ok, let's try this again, just think beachball", "downtown", gently reminded him with the patience of a saint.

The next pitch landed about a foot short of the plate and rolled in the dirt to the catcher. No chance to make contact with that one either. "boom boom" was now clearly flummoxed. Down to his last pitch, "down town" was going to make contact with it even if he had to climb a ladder to do so. He took a deep breath, dug himself into the batter's box one last time, looked out towards "boom boom" and calmly said "beachball". The next pitch wasn't perfect but it was going to have to do. Watching it come in, "downtown" quickly realized that it was a bit inside and was going to be low. He took a couple of strides towards the ball and got down on one knee. Looking like tiger woods drilling a pitching wedge, he golfed the ball -- not out of the park as that was simply impossible with the pitch he was given-- but deep into the outfield. The runners on base started galloping around the base path immediately. First "daredevil" crossed the plate -- score now 13-11. Then "too tall" followed suit - score now 13-12. That left "downtown" still out on the base path. With two out, he knew he had to get to second to get in scoring position for the next batter and to stay out of a force play. It was going to be close. The ball was picked up deep in the outfield by the rover as he got to first. He dug in and headed for second as the ball was thrown in. In a seeming tie, "downtown" planted his foot on the bag, as the perfectly thrown ball was caught high and the second baseman turned to swipe "downtown" on the shoulder. The diamond immediately fell silent as the fun bunch umpire mark "polygon" pintar-- who had made his way out on the infield to watch the play unfold--took a moment to analyze the data. Under a fair bit of pressure from Stop HItting on Us, who had begun walking off the field, he made his call -- "out". Fun Bunch lose 13-12.