OTTAWA – With only seven players in the dugout and the game already ten minutes behind schedule, steve “field marshal” saunders was madly scanning the horizon for any sign of a handful of players who were holding up the game. In typical fun bunch fashion, two players bailed out last minute and two said they would be “late” five minutes before the game started. The other team—the normally cordial bons vivants--were having a field day, hollering insults, taunts and catcalls across the diamond, expressing their displeasure with the antics of their opponent.

Once again it was the usual culprits responsible for the pre-game drama as scott “boom boom” saunders decided to kick back and take the night off leaving his teammates to twist in the wind. Jess “bulls-eye” belanger then informed “field marshal” that her car broke down and she had no way to get to the game. Then just for good measure Alison “bulldozer” Hale and Glen “the wrangler” Rankin—seemingly in cahoots—booth said they would be “late”—without offering up any further details.

Buoying the spirits of the team however, was the presence of Richard “wild thing” Bujold who was making his season debut. In his now trade-mark pizza stained jersey and wool-socks-and-work-boots attire he cut an imposing figure as he sloppily fielded ground balls while kicking up plumes of dust in the warmup. The game was now bound to be interesting if nothing else.

Down three players and unable to hold off the other team any longer, “field marshal” finally conceded and led his porous defense out onto the field. With a grand total of three outfielders, three infielders and a catcher, the bons vivants were licking their chops as they looked out into acres of unprotected real-estate. Three outs later however, with nothing to show for their efforts, they slunk out of their dugout and onto the field--shut out in the first inning by the razor-sharp (and razor-thin) fun bunch defense.

Players now began trickling in. John “hans solo” devries, sauntered in from the parking lot about mid way through the second inning. Although he originally said he wouldn’t be able to play—this is typical of the miscommunication within the team—he showed up anyways - a welcome sight for sore eyes. Glen “the wrangler” rankin and Alison “bulldozer” hale meandered in from the parking lot as well—in no particular hurry—in the third and fourth inning respectively.

The once amorphous team was now taking shape and refining their focus. With a full lineup “field marshal” re-arranged his defense like a general on the battle field. The bons vivants were nonplussed. The mood in their dugout quickly turned from conviviality to consternation. The fun bunch women unleashed a barrage of hits that rained down on them like artillery. They were caught in the cross-hairs--unsure what to do. Panic ensued. Several bons vivants began hastily searching for a white flag to raise. Two home runs by “the wrangler” and a third by “downtown” made the score 20-6 by the end of the sixth inning. Still the women continued their onslaught—looking to send a message after last weeks lacklustre performance. Rowena “scoresheet” sams – six hits, Alison “bulldozer” Hale and Leah “roadrunner” Morrell five hits each and Kathie “daredevil” Adare – four more hits for good measure.

Even “wild thing” was looking to help out—in his own misguided way: dropping a ball in the outfield after he stumbled and fell when he slipped on the slick soles of his workboots, tripping and falling in the infield as he stutter-stepped rounding second with catastrophic consequences, and seizing control of the pitching mound only to deliver a disastrous performance as balls sailed in pretty much everywhere except the strike zone.

The bons vivants managed to regroup for one inning as they scored five runs in the seventh to make the score 11 – 20, but the fun bunch quickly answered back with five runs of their own. Down 27-11 in the top of the ninth, they were unable to score a run as the fun bunch shut them down mercilessly including an over-the-shoulder basket catch for the final out.