OTTAWA - The game Thursday night was one for the record books. The fun bunch did something they have never before done in all their illustrious history - they scored five runs in each inning of the game, giving them a total of 30 when the game ended after only six innings.

This was a massacre, plain and simple. The victims were the bons vivants. And while they did their best keep a stiff upper lip, they struggled under the barrage of offense, inning after inning. Leading the assault was Nancy "get 'er done" Harris going five for five and scoring five runs -- the most on the team. But she was by no means alone: Jess "bulls-eye" belanger, five for five with four runs scored. Rowena "scoresheet" sams - five for five. Leah "roadrunner" morrell and kathie "daredevil" adare, both four for five. Corey "wingspan" ploegman, four for four , four runs scored. Mark "polygon" pintar and steve "downtown" saunders, each five for five.

In fact, the final score was 30-5 and the only reason the bons vivants managed to score five runs, was because of a couple of defensive miscues in the first two innings. Once the fun bunch hunkered down, however, the bon vivants chalked up zeroes in the final five innings of the game. But to their credit, they remained chipper and good natured throughout the entire onslaught.

Meanwhile, a friendly rivalry seems to be developing between jess "bulls-eye" belanger and leah "roadrunner" morrell -- both competitive athletes. If you recall, "bulls-eye" hit a home run last week -- a first in fun bunch history. Responding to the challenge, "roadrunner" crunched the ball all the way to the center field fence in her first at bat for a triple, narrowly missing a home run herself. As she waltzed into third, she looked into the dugout, as if challenging "bulls-eye" with a "what do you think of that" glare.

Not finished responding, "roadrunner" grabbed a rocket of a shot down third base line for a huge out early in the game, showcasing her defensive talent as well. As she smirked towards "bulls-eye" at first base, "bulls-eye" mouthed the words "game-on bitch" back to her. No sooner were the words out of her mouth when "bulls-eye" snagged an equally impressive line drive right down first for another huge out. As she tossed the ball back to the pitcher, she cast a playful wink towards "roadrunner"-- as if to say "your turn". Taking in all the action from close quarters was team captain and living legend, steve "field marshal" saunders. He looked back and forth as his young protégés engaged in a snarling--but good natured-- catfight. He sighed a deep sigh and smiled as a tear escaped the corner of his eye. He was very proud of his youthful recruits and thought to himself that the future of the fun bunch looked very bright indeed.

What made the game particularly devastating was the complete lack of defense by bons vivants. Now the bons vivants are classified as a "C" team, but they scored an "F" thursday night as they struggled to get even a single out in an inning. Balls were dropped, misplayed, kicked, and overthrown all night long. It quickly became painful to watch--literally as "downtown" hit a towering fly ball that didn't leave the infield. It should have been a relatively easy out, but clearly was giving the first baseman some cause for concern as he staggered back and forth for what seemed like an hour as it continued rising upward, finally stopped and accelerated downward. Carefully, he tracked the ball on its decent, but it was falling from such a high altitude that it's terminal velocity was approaching mach 1. Beads of sweat broke out on his forehead , as the pinprick in the sky got bigger and faster. He was getting dizzy and his eyes were stinging from his sweat. He blinked only briefly to clear his vision but it was too late. The ball struck him squarely in the face. He emitted an unnatural sound as the ball crushed his zygomatic bone and rolled into the outfield. He dropped to the ground and writhed in the dirt as "downtown" trotted into second with a double.

With richard "wild thing" bujold missing his third game in a row, the game was a rather dull affair with the exception of one inning when john "hans solo" devries took his spot at second base. With two out , the bons vivants hit a gentle grounder to "hans solo" for an easy out. "hans solo" fielded the ball, took two steps towards first and then--doing his best "wild thing" impersonation--tossed the ball ten feet over "bulls-eye's" head for no apparent reason as two runs came in to score. When asked how he could have possibly made such a glaring error, he just shrugged his shoulders and giggled