OTTAWA - Having gone winless in the month of May, the funbunch had managed to lower the bar for ineptitude, lack of preparation and all round poor play. Sure they only played a single game that month, and in fact only lost by a single run to the reigning league champions, but steve "field marshal" saunders was still fit to be tied. Friendly banter ceased, shoulders sunk and heads lowered as the team desperately tried to avoid eye contact as he stormed into the dugout before the game, seething with rage. This was going to be painful and they knew it.

He wasted little time as he tore into them player-by-player, dissecting their weaknesses with the skill of a surgeon. One by one they cracked like a soft-shell crab. Tears squirted from tightly clenched eyelids as to a man (and woman) they felt their feelings of shame and inadequacy overwhelm them. With that painful catharsis complete, they dried their eyes and listened with rapt attention as "field marshal" gave them their marching orders. They were plain and simple. The team was to win the game at any cost.

They were playing the "Blue Zone" a new team this year who were in a state of utter disarray. After waiting for ten minutes after warm up, "field marshal" sauntered over to their dugout to see what was holding things up. When he asked who was in charge, players exchanged confused glances as if the question had been asked in Latin. "You guys are the home team. Are you going to put out some bases?", "field marshal" asked, challenging the squad. The player with the words "coach" emblazoned on his jersey--although clearly he could not coach his way out of a wet paper bag--replied after a considerable delay. "Uhm Colim never said anything about bases", came his unsure reply.

"Field Marshal" rolled his eyes heavenward in a "what have I done to deserve this" gesture. "Look, I'll put out the bases and then let's get started", he sighed. This was going to be a long night

The first few innings remained relatively close. Although the funbunch were outhitting their opponents, they were unable to develop any sort of sustained rally, and could not drive in runs in scoring position when the opportunity presented itself, stranding a myriad of base runners. After one inning the score was tied 2-2. After two innings, the fun bunch were up 4-3 and after three innings, the funbunch were clinging to a two run lead 9-7. This was not how this game was supposed to play out.

The team was tentative. They were not hitting like they were capable. The Blue Zone was a hot mess defensively, but the funbunch were unable to take advantage of their weak play. Jess "bulls-eye" belanger was playing in her first game. She had been off touring Europe and had just returned. She was struggling somewhat to piece her game back together . Her struggles ended in the fourth inning when she drilled a triple to the fence over the shocked heads of the blue zone outfielders. Leah "roadrunner" Morrell--her chief rival on the team--begrudgingly congratulated her on her mammoth hit through gritted teeth.

By the fifth inning the rout was underway as the funbunch went on to score sixteen runs in a five inning span including three five run innings. Leading the way were home runs by glen "the wrangler" rankin and clark "pound 'em back" lawlor, with the rest of the team following suit. Defensively, the funbunch proceeded to turn the thumbscrews, as they held the blue zone to three runs in that time frame all on a single home run. The highlight play of the night was a rare infield triple play that underscored the inexperience of the blue zone players as they ran hither and yon--like chickens with their heads cut off-- unsure of exactly what to do or where to go once the first out was made.

With their jackboots firmly on the throat of their opponent, the funbunch weren't done quite yet, as they stepped down with all their might, causing them to mewl like a hapless creature in distress. Their eyes bulging and tongue lolling, the blue zone were now praying for a quick and humane end to their pain. Unfortunately, their suffering would have to continue for one more unpleasant inning as the funbunch "batted around" in the ninth to score eight more runs and bring their total to an astounding twenty-nine. The blue zone knew they were in way over their head. They had a lot of enthusiasm and youth on their team, and were generally speaking an all-round very pleasant group. But the funbunch had taught them a tough lesson. One that would unfortunately have to be repeated a few more times. Clearly they were called "growing pains" for good reason.