OTTAWA - With a rain-shortened season underway two weeks behind schedule, the funbunch were ill prepared for their season opener with the Athletics. The Athletics had been playing softball all winter long in an indoor league while the funbunch missed their spring training session due to the soggy condition of the baseball diamonds. As a result, the first three women batters for the funbunch--rusty from an eight month layoff-- failed to get a hit. Nevertheless the funbunch took an early two run lead when mark "polygon" pintar got aboard bringing steve "downtown" saunders to the plate. Continuing right where he left off at the end of last season, "downtown" swung at the first pitch and pummelled a two run homer, clearing the home run fence and depositing the ball into the nearby dog park where it had to be wrestled from the gaping maw of a particularly vicious german shephard, bound and determined to keep his new found "chew toy".

The fun bunch had a good turnout for the first game. Ten players in all including a new substitute "Jessica" from "polygon's" monday night league. Surprisingly, the Athletics were quiet initially, scoring only 2 runs through the first three innings to fall behind 8-2. Sadly, John "Methuselah" devries also continued right where left off at the end of last season when he popped a wind assisted solo-home run over the left field fence to start the second inning --wasting a home run in the process. With steve "field marshal" saunders scowling at him as he giddily rounded the bases, clearly pleased with his accomplishment. "Tarnation, I tore the stuffing out of that one", he wheezed as he entered the dugout where his stone-faced teammates proceeded to let him know what they thought of his selfish gesture.

With the game going exceptionally well, the funbunch sailed into fourth inning up by six runs and sitting pretty. That's when the Athletics "lowered the boom" and proceeded to score 9 runs in the next two innings . The funbunch responded meekly with a three-up-three down inning in the fourth and a modest three run inning in the fifth, to tie the score 11 all

With momentum slipping out of their grasp, and down 11-8 to start the fifth, "field marshal" knew he had to "right this listing ship". Striding to the plate with no one on, he pounded the first pitch out of the park to narrow the gap and fire a warning shot over the bow of the "SS Athletics", making it clear that the funbunch were not going down without a fight on his watch. Unlike "Methuselah's" solo "ego" shot , "field marshal's" home run had purpose and impact. His teammates understood this immediately and thanked him for his leadership.

Seizing the moment, Leah "roadrunner" Morrell strode to the plate and proceeded to work her own magic as she pummelled the next pitch over the fence and out of the park, a herculean blast. Immediately, the Athletics were up in arms. "That's the fourth home-run, you're out", they ranted and raved, determined to put an end to the festivities in the funbunch dugout. Fortunately league convener Colin Bromfield was on the field and he begrudgingly admitted that yes, even though technically it was the "fourth" home run, because Leah had hit it , the run counted. Leah immediately began texting her absent teammate and arch-rival, Jess "bulls-eye" belanger. "Guess what bitch? I just hit another homer! hope you're having a good holiday!", she playfully teased.

With the game tied 11 all, the Athletics continued turning the thumbscrews, scoring three more runs in the sixth inning to take a 14-11 lead. The Athletics resurgence oddly coincided with a fielding change for the funbunch. With not much action in the outfield, "Methuselah" moved into second base from the outfield. What followed next was something right out of richard "wild thing" bujold's playbook. Grounders were booted or missed, relays where dropped or misplayed and the ultimate indignity occurred when "Methuselah" took a hard hopping grounder off the shin raising a welt the size of a grapefruit on his leg. A sure out turned into an easy double as the Athletic onslaught continued unabated. In addition outfielders "polygon" and scott "boom boom" saunders seemed a bit tentative playing balls in the gap. After their colossal collision last year, neither seemed very keen on a recurrence so played a bit more cautiously.

Alison "bulldozer" Hale , who had been quietly going about her business, decided that it was her turn to right the "SS funbunch" which had once again started to take on water. Stomping into the dugout the tirade began: "Listen here maggots, time to buckle down and gets some hits. We're only down by three runs, so I want to see you chalk up five and take the lead back" she bellowed, spittle flying hither and yon. Shamed into action, the team immediately heeded her demand. Hits by "roadrunner", Rowena "scoresheet" Sams, "polygon", "downtown", "boom boom", "Methuselah", and Glen "the wrangler" Rankin did the job as the funbunch did indeed score five runs to pull back into the lead a tribute to "bulldozer's" leadership.

With the game tightening up (now 16-14 in the funbunch's favour), the Athletics surly demeanor turned downright ugly as they argued calls, browbeat the funbunch umpire, drilled the ball back to the pitcher and catcalled players. If they couldn't win this game honestly, they were going to resort to "plan B". With "Methusaleh" now hobbled at second with his bruised shin, the Athletics smelled blood as they directed their barrage squarely in his direction. Four runs later, the funbunch had barely managed to stem the bleeding. Down 18-16 they shambled off the field having squandered a two run lead.

Down to their last chance, leadoff hitter Jessica grounded out. "polygon" got his fourth hit of the night and stretched it into a double. Kathie "daredevil" Adare got a hit to extend the rally. Out of home runs, "downtown" came to the plate and drilled a ball up the middle to score "polygon". "roadrunner" popped out for the second out. Score 18-17 with two out, bottom of the last inning. John "hans solo" Devries came to the plate. With a chance to redeem himself (for his solo blast), he popped up to extinguish the rally as the funbunch fall one run short and lose 18-17 to start the season on a sour note.