CANNES – Steve “field marshal” Saunders got the call while cruising the cote d’azur in southern France. It was team president Soren “scoop” Sorensen and he was mad as a hatter. “field marshal” had left mark “polygon” pintar in charge of the team while he took a (well deserved) holiday in France and Italy. The area is beautiful—scenic mountains, crystal clear azure colored waters, picturesque medieval villages and of course the food and wine is to die for. He had left the team in what he thought was rock-solid shape. They had just won their fourth game in a row and their record now stood at an impressive 6-2. What could possibly go wrong?

A lot it seemed. “Scoop” filled him in – in great detail. They had blown the last two games with losses to Rebels and Aquabats—both beatable teams. The scores were close mind you, but the fun bunch had NEVER lost three games in a row--EVER. In the hot seat, “scoop” made it excruciatingly clear that this was not going to happen on his watch. “field marshal” was to “get on the next plane home and right this sinking ship”. Without waiting for a reply, “scoop” hung up the phone.

It wasn’t going to be easy, but “field marshal” was going to do his best to get back to Ottawa in time for the next game. The matter was complicated by the fact that they were landing in Montreal and then would have to drive home from there, but with a little luck and if the flight managed to go on time, he should be able to pull it off. That was his first mistake—optimism. The flight was delayed leaving Nice because of heavy traffic. Then an elderly lady with alzheimer’s got into an argument with “field marshal” about something imaginary in the overhead bin. The plane then had to land at a U.S. terminal, deplane the passengers from the rear and take them in busloads over to the correct terminal. All this added about a one hour delay, erasing any safety margin to get to the game on time.

But it got even better. The terminal in Montreal was a mad house. Clearly it was operating over capacity as there was a sea of passengers in an endless line that meandered throughout the customs waiting area. New passengers were corralled off and prevented from joining the teeming masses below as there was simply no more room. After what seemed like an eternity, they were allowed to proceed into the customs queue that stretched as far as the eye could see. “field marshal” lowered his head and sighed. The gods were conspiring to keep him from his baseball game. After an additional seventy-five minutes he was free of the airport but now stuck in rush hour traffic in montreal. He glanced at the time. It was going to be impossible to get to the diamond for the start of the game, but he was still bound and determined to make an appearance. He stepped on the accelerator and weaved through traffic praying there were not speed traps between here and Ottawa.

Exhausted and jet-lagged he arrived at Hampton Park two innings into the game. It was now 12:30 AM Cannes time. “polygon” glanced nervously at the parking lot when he saw “field marshal’s” car pull in and prepared for the worst. He had done his best to keep the team afloat while “field marshal” was away, but by god it wasn’t easy. He saw first hand what it was like to manage this team of n’er do wells, and it didn’t sit well with him. Rounding up players for each game was like herding cats. He knew they had dropped two games in a row while he was at the helm and had mentally prepared himself for the consequences.

“field marshal” ran to the diamond from his car and headed straight for “polygon”. Bleary-eyed and gasping for breath, he put his hand on “polygon’s” shoulder and said “you did a fine job son – but I’ll take it from here”, before charging into the dugout and barking orders and anyone within earshot. The party was now officially over.

Knowing full well that his reputation was on the line however, “polygon’s” team had already built up a substantial 10-0 lead after only two innings. He had taken a page out of “field marshal’s” playbook and read his team the riot act in his pre-game address. He had seen the light and decided to eschew mollycoddling for discipline and it was working.

“field marshal” was pleasantly surprised and let things unfold as they may. The fun bunch never relinquished the lead. In fact they held the powerful athletics to only 1 run after four innings now leading 13-1.

The youngsters leah “road runner” morrell, jess “bullseye” belanger and newcomer alana “the machine” mcdonald were leading the way, turning an all-female double play and walloping the stuffing out of the baseball as well. The guys too were holding there own with newcomers chris “knock ‘em in” nicol and ryan “man-o-war” matischuck bolstering the line up.

Clark “pound ‘em back” lawlor was making a rare appearance and in fact had stepped into the starting pitcher role. He still was having some difficulty with the “toss it in like a beachball” directive, but to his credit, was managing to hold his own. And despite it closing in on 2 AM Cannes time, “field marshal” was still able to deposit a couple of home runs into the dog park once he managed to correct “pound ‘em back’s” delivery.

With the fun bunch leading 28-14 heading into the bottom of the ninth inning, the Athletics mounted a last minute rally to score seven runs but in the end came up short. Fun bunch win 28-21 and end their two game losing streak.