OTTAWA - Playing the Athletics is never easy at the best of times. League convenor colin bromfield keeps tweaking his team with bigger, stronger, meaner players--seemingly each encounter. Friendly banter and convivial game play go out the window in this no-frills affair, with scowling and surliness the order of the day as his battle-hardened team digs in for the siege.

Juggling balls masterfully, like a cirque-du-soleil veteran, team captain steve "field marshal" saunders, somehow miraculously manages to field a complete and competitive team each week. Behind the scenes however, things don't run as clockwork as they seem as certain players refuse to respond to his email requests, bail out last minute, show up late or simply don't show up at all. "Yes I certainly have a couple of problem players", field marshal sighed. "They make my job a heck of a lot more difficult but don't seem to care one iota", he finished, exasperated.

Facing the Athletics juggernaut, his world was about to start spinning out of control. In the middle of yet another under par golf game, his phone began to ring. Jubilant after draining a ten foot eagle putt on the 525 yard par 5 4th hole at the gatineau golf course, his elation turned to dread as he saw the name on his phone. It was his baby brother, scott "boom boom" saunders. "I'm not sure I can make it , better get someone else", came "boom boom's" curt instructions. The phone went dead. He looked at his watch, 5:30 pm. Game was at 8 pm and they were playing the Athletics. "Field marshal" snapped his putter. So much for breaking par today.

So the fun bunch stared down the Athletics with only four guys that night. Besides "field marshal" there were mark "polygon" pintar, clark "pound 'em back" lawlor, and glen "the wrangler" rankin. What they lacked in quantity they were going to have to make up for in quality. "Look team, we've only got nine players tonight, so the bad news is that we'll all have to cover a bit more ground and perhaps play some new positions, but the good news is that we're all going to have lots of at bats!", he said enthusiastically, trying to make the sale. The team looked back at him unimpressed. They weren't stupid. They were playing the Athletics and they knew it. A glance towards the field revealed a writhing snake pit of venomous ball players, coiled and ready to strike any unsuspecting fun buncher caught off guard. They would have to be on their guard the whole game.

So "field marshal" gave everyone their marching orders. Their spartan outfield would consist of "polygon", "pound 'em back" and "the wrangler". The new-look "charlie's angels" infield would be anchored by "field marshal" at short, leah "roadrunner" morrell at third, nancy "5k" harris at second, kathie "daredevil" adare at first and rowena "scoresheet" sams at home. Alison "bulldozer" hale would play as a deep infielder behind second base.

The game got underway, and the fun bunch scored three runs. Unfortunately one of those was on a solo shot by "polygon" leaving the team only two remaining. The highlight of the inning was a monster hit by "roadrunner" over the outfielder's head all the way to the fence. It was going to be an easy triple, but "field marshal" was screaming at "roadrunner" to "go home" for a chance at an extremely rare in-the-park home run. Not able to hear his directive over the roaring queensway traffic she safely held up at third and scored on the next play.

The Athletics promptly scored five runs in the bottom of the first inning with an impressive display of hitting as they flexed their offensive muscles and took an early lead.

The fun bunch, however continued to chip away and with back-to-back home runs by "field marshal" in the third and fourth innings took over the lead 9-7. The fun bunch defense was--for the most part--playing brilliantly. A couple of highlight catches in the outfield by "the wrangler and "polygon", provided key outs. "Daredevil" was having a great night at first. Without the sun to contend with she was confident and sure footed. "field marshal" fielded a deep hard grounder. Momentarily dropping the ball and picked it up quickly but the runner was flying down the line. He drilled the ball towards "daredevil" with a little extra velocity and slightly low. Like a pro, "daredevil" snagged the ball but in the process was pulled off the base. With cat-like reflexes she darted out her toe to tag the base just in time to beat the runner for another key out.

The "roadrunner" put on a show, when she dug deep into her bag of tricks to end an Athletics rally. When a hard line drive came her way, she jumped to her left to try and snag the ball. Realizing she wasn't going to be able to catch it she cast "field marshal" a playful wink and yelled "here take this", and swatted at the ball with her glove. Knocking it out of the mid air, she directed it towards "field marshal" who obligingly picked it up and there out the base runner.

Unfortunately, there were a few hiccups. "Pound 'em back" was playing right field and seemed to be having some difficulty with depth perception in the night sky. The Athletics quickly zeroed in on this chink in the fun bunch armour as they launched a barrage of balls his way with expected results. Playing too shallow, several of the powerful Athletic women launched balls over his head. Easy outs turned into extra-base hits. The score narrowed. In the top of the "endless" ninth inning the score stood 19-17 for the fun bunch. This was going to be a nail biter.

"Okay team. This is the endless inning, lets score as many runs as we can, because we know they are going to come out all guns blazing when they come to bat. Remember, no home runs left so if you hit it over the fence it's an out, so keep the balls down and let's be aggressive running the bases", came "field marshal's" sage advice. The team concurred and stepped to the plate. The women in particular put on an impressive display with each and every one of them getting at least a base hit. Nancy "5k" Harris had decided to don the team batting helmet to help her overcome her jitters running to first base. Her plan worked masterfully as her new found confidence seemed to make her bat grow larger as she plunked out base hits with ease and charged through first base with reckless abandon. "Daredevil" and "bulldozer" too had clutch hits to extend the rally and "scoresheet" mastered her "full swing bunt" to get on base in her last three at bats. After making it through the line up they had scored an impressive five runs and the scored stood at 24-17. A seven run lead , but the Athletics had two home runs in the bag.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, the Athletics dug in. Setting the tone, was a leadoff triple, when pound 'em back played in too shallow on their powerful catcher who promptly drilled the ball over his head. The onslaught continued as they hit with the precision of a master surgeon. A couple of caught fly balls by "the wrangler" and "field marshal" stemmed the bleeding somewhat but they had scored five runs already narrowing the score to 24-22. The next batter hit a towering fly ball. "Polygon" charged hard from center field, a bit too hard however and he overran the ball and it landed behind him. The athletics scored another run 24-23. With two out and a runner on first the next batter came to the plate. The fun bunch needed a miracle. The batter let the first two pitches go by. They were terrible. Down to his last pitch he swung hard and drilled a hard grounder towards nancy "5k" harris at second. She gulped as she felt her heart rate increase significantly. She squatted and put her glove open on the ground like "field marshal" had told her. But the ball was coming so fast. It was going to hurt she just knew it. She momentarily thought about getting out of the way of the incoming cruise missile. A sideward glance at "field marshal" made that thought evaporate immediately. His face was contorted in an unnatural looking way. He was screaming and had spittle flying hither and yon like a yard sprinkler. Yet oddly she could not hear a thing. She quickly came to her senses. She was going to stop this ball-- personal safety be damned. It was almost here. She was at peace now with her decision. Her heart rate lowered. Self-confidence began to ooze from her. She smacked her mitt once more for good measure before casting a playful wink at "field marshal" and yelling "get ready for the relay". "field marshal" slid into position at second base. With his foot on the bag he stretched his glove towards "5k", deep in the hole at second. After one final hop, the ball landed squarely in the middle of her glove. She felt the ball smack her hand hard. "That's going to leave a mark", she thought to herself as she quickly reached inside to pluck her trophy carefully out of her glove. With the base runner rapidly advancing towards second she softly tossed the ball into "field marshal's" outstretched mitt for the third out of the inning. She had just won the game. Her teammates came charging towards her. As they hoisted her onto their shoulders and cheered in jubilation, she thought to herself, "I'm sure glad I decided to get a right handed glove this year".