OTTAWA – It was a disaster in the making. John “methuselah” devries, scott “boom boom” saunders, richard “wild thing” Bujold, and jess “bullseye” belanger all pulled a collective disappearing act that would have put Harry Houdini to shame. Eschewing the fun bunch game to leave their teammates to “twist-in-the-wind”, they all kicked back to enjoy a night out to watch the red blacks at Lansdowne park instead. Sadly, this is not the first time this has happened, however Alison “bulldozer” Hale, Leah “Roadrunner” morrell and clark “pound ‘em back” lawlor were all out of town that night too. That left steve “field marshal” saunders with a grand total of five players for the game. Including himself there was mark “polygon” pintar, rowena “scoresheet” sams, kathie “daredevil” adare and glen “the wrangler” rankin.

By game time, he had managed to secure three more players. Stu “all-in” allan, mark “oak tree” cuhaci, and alana “the machine” mcdonald (on loan form pitch please , the team that was playing next at 8:15). “all-in” was the son of the “field marshal’s” neighbor , who hadn’t played softball for over a year. “oak tree” (so named because of opponents inability to move him away from the front of the net in hockey), hadn’t played softball for a couple of years and “the machine” volunteered to play for the fun bunch as her team was playing the late game at that diamond.

So all together there were three women and five men. Pretty meagre but it would have to do.

Actually, the original game had been rescheduled at the request of league convenor Colin Bromfield. He had asked “field marshal” if he would switch their original game from Thursday to Wednesday because the other team “blue zone” couldn’t play on Wednesdays. So when “field marshal” strode into the dugout, stop hitting on us were a little taken aback. “what are you doing here?”, their captain asked nervously. “colin asked us to switch games with the blue zone”, came “field marshal’s” curt reply. A cloud of trepidation settled over their bench. Consternation and dread emanated from their side of the diamond. Someone whimpered softly.

“field marshal” didn’t know what to expect from his cobbled-together crew. He would find out soon enough he surmised.

As the visiting team, the fun bunch went to bat first. Hits by “the machine”, “polygon” and “field marshal” scored one run, but unfortunately, the fun bunch left two base runners stranded. This would become an unpleasant theme of the evening as they struggled to cash in runners all night long.

Stop hitting on us had a big second inning and scored four runs while the fun bunch faltered and left two more runners on base, unable to cash in a run. The score was now 4 – 1 for stop hitting on us.

In the third inning with “polygon” on base, “field marshal” realized something had to be done quickly to right his sinking ship. This was to be their watershed moment and he knew it. He grabbed his trusty Louisville Z-34, end loaded bat and gave it a twirl. He strode to the plate , the weight of his team once again on his mighty shoulders, but he was unfazed. He had been down this path, many, many times before. It was well-worn and he could traverse it blind folded.

“all-in” was standing on the pitching mound. Conscripted to pitch with no other alternatives. “you better stand back a bit son”, “field marshal” cautioned the eager, but somewhat unseasoned neophyte. “now toss it in like a beach ball”, he cautiously advised. One swing later and the fun bunch were back in the game 4-3. But they weren’t done yet. Suddenly the good ship fun bunch was righting itself. The bilge pumps--now fully engaged--were spewing water from the hold, as the gunwales rose in the water. With two outs, kathie “daredevil” adare kept the rally going, with a brilliant hit into the gap in the outfield. “all-in” followed suit and then “the wrangler” blasted another home run for three more runs. The fun bunch had now pulled ahead with a big five running inning to lead 6-4.

The battle continued for several more innings with the fun bunch continuing to pull away. In fact stop hitting on us, scored only two more runs in the next five innings and a big part of the reason was the play of the one-woman-wrecking-crew named alana “the machine” mcdonald. Her prowess at second base was simply astounding. She fielded ground balls and threw out base runners. She made the force at second on a relay from short and then threw to first. And not done yet, she tagged out two base runners and threw to first for two double plays, missing a third only because the runner broke his base line to avoid her tag.

As stop hitting on us fell further behind, the calls by their umpire became more one-sided—a common refrain in this league. One particularly onerous example occurred in the eight inning. With stop hitting on us now behind 14-6, their base runner had aggressively rounded second and was heading to third. When the ball from the outfield sailed in to “field marshal” at short, he saw “oak tree” perfectly positioned to make the tag and gunned the ball over to his outstretched mitt. He lowered his glove and slapped the leg of the runner clearly tagging them out. “safe” came the call from the stop hitting on us umpire, keen to get their team back in the game.

Hits by “daredevil”, “polygon”, “field marshal”, “all-in”, and “the wrangler” added four more runs in the ninth. The score now sat at 18-8. Some great defense in the ninth including a feet-first diving catch, then drop, then catch again by “the wrangler” and an amazing catch by “the machine” on a deflection off the glove of “field marshal” as he dove for a hard grounder, ended the game with stop hitting on us managing only two more runs.

Final score fun bunch 18-10 for their fourth win in a row.